Anxious

I am trying so hard to not let this baby making consume my thoughts but it is SO hard not to! I feel like I have been counting down the days until I go have my bloodwork done (which is Thursday) and then when I will be able to take a pregnancy test.  I keep telling myself that there is no way I will get lucky and get pregnant the first month on Clomid but then I wonder if I'm just trying to convince myself that so I won't be sad if I get a BFN.  I can't wait for the day I get a positive test result and be able to carry out my plans of announcing the news.  I can't wait to be able to start buying newborn stuff again.  It is all so exciting. 

Then, I think....."Amanda, STOP being so impatient!" There are SOOO many women that don't even have their first child yet and have been TTC for 5-10 years or those women that have to use IVF and start birth control, shots, egg retrieval and implantation.  I think it is human nature for someone to be impatient for something they yearn for but I have got to learn to leave it to God and just pray about it.  If it is in His will for it to happen, it will happen. 

Side note.....(I swear, I have self diagnosed ADD) but do you ever have those moments where someone says something and you are like, "WOW, I was JUST thinking that!" or along those lines?  That has happened to me more than a few times recently.  Crazy actually.  I have an "internet" friend, Jenny, that I swear, she and I think alike in so many ways, but she and I were discussing baby names a few weeks ago on Facebook and she mentioned a boy's name that I had always liked and it is NOT popular and then she was showing me a pattern for a dress she is wanting to make for her daughter, Bella, and the day or so prior, I was on Zulily.com (love that site) and saw the same pattern and thought that it would be super cute on Preslei.  THEN....(just weird to me) I saw a picture of a girl named Sara's, crib bedding she had custom made and the same night Jenny and I were chatting on FB, I was looking online on ebay for fabric to send to Jenny and saw this particular print and thought to myself how it would make a beautiful crib set and dang if that wasn't the same fabric Sara posted a few days later.  Lastly, one of my very dear friends has learned some upsetting news for her family and we talked this morning and she quoted scripture that she read that eased her mind and it was the same scripture I had read the other day and it eased my mind about this baby making thing.  It's just freaky, lol. 

So, back to the main topic, I am SO ready to get the bloodtests back and to be able to get thru next week so I can take a pregnancy test.  I'm NOT going to get my hopes up because I'm trying to tell myself if I'm not pregnant the 2nd month (took me 2 months on Clomid to get pregnant with Preslei) then I can start "justifying" getting anxious.