Yes, I am still alive!

I'm SUCH a procrastinator! Every day when I log in to catch up on my favorite blogs, I'm like, "Okay Amanda, update your blog!!!" then I forget and get busy! I must say though, even though I have been crazy busy, I love it! I function better when I'm in busy mode.

I seriously can't believe Christmas is right around the corner!!!! GAHHH, I love it! Christmas is by far my FAVORITE time of the year. The holidays often remind people of everything they are thankful for. That is when I start regretting publishing my last post. But you know, that is how I was feeling at the time I wrote it and I am only human.

A few days after I published my last blog post, I booked a flight to Vegas to see a very special friend of mine, Noelle. I cannot even put into words how excited I am about seeing her. Funny thing, she and I have NEVER met! Noelle is the FABULOUS owner/designer/creator of glamRbaby and she and I became friends during my pregnancy and I kid you not, it felt as if I had known her my entire life. She and I are sooo alike its scary! We kept saying how we HAVE to meet so when Southwest Airlines had a MASSIVE 72-hour sale on airfare, I booked the flight! Noelle, girl, I can't WAIT to meet you FINALLY!

Thanksgiving was great as always. I had my family and everyone I love with me. I'm sure it did nothing for my weight loss but man the food was delish! Speaking of weight loss, I haven't been to the dr. in like 2 months so I have no clue where I stand. My schedule has been so busy I can't find the time to drive up there! I will know for sure on Dec. 17th how much I have lost. But I am happy to say that I bought a new pair of jeans that were TWO sizes smaller than the last ones I had bought at that store! I'm slowly bringing sexy back. Lol.

Preslei is getting more prissy everyday! She is OBSESSED, and I mean OBSESSED with Dora! So it looks like it will be a Dora Christmas this year! She also is obsessed with her babydolls and dressing up. She has a few tutus that she will dress up in and spin around the house. So stinkin' cute! I am just totally in love with my child! Her vocabularly is getting a lot better. Her new thing is saying, "tanks Mom" or "tanks Da-Dad" and so on......at least she has manners! (at least for the time being)

I wanted to post a little comparision of my face. I love the fact I can now notice I am losing weight. My bracelet is hanging on my wrist by just a TINY bit and my face is so much more slender than it was 6 months ago!

First pic was in May, 2nd was in August and the last picture was yesterday!

Life ain't always beautiful but its a beautiful ride

I feel like being completely random today so my words will probably make no sense.

Do you ever have days you just want to wallow in self-pity? I do. More often than I would like to admit. I think one of my biggest faults is being a very analytical person. I analyze everything and everyone. I definitely have struggles in life as to whether I'm doing the rights things or being the person that I should be. Its hard. I have always been the type of person that no matter what you are going through in life, you learn to deal with it and just put on a happy face. I have always had a wall built up that it makes it hard to show emotion, raw emotion. I'm 90% of the time a happy person but sometimes I need to just express emotions that I normally don't express. I need to cry because I never cry to just let it out. Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve unhappiness. I mean, is God punishing me? Granted, I have soooo much to be thankful for, my health, my amazing daughter, my friends, my family. I just look at other peoples' lives and wonder, why can't I have that? I know, you shouldn't be envious or jealous of people or things but I'm only human, right? And you never know what they are going through either. My biggest struggle is I constantly wonder what life would be like outside of "small town USA". There is just so much I want out of life than what this town has to offer. Living in a small town definitely has its perks but it also has limitations. I don't like having limits. I want to be able to do and became anything I want to. I want my children to grow up in a cultured world and not have to endure all the small minded opinions that you do here. But what keeps me here? My family. I am such a family-oriented person that I don't know what I would do if I couldn't see my parents whenever I wanted and it'd kill me to know that my children couldn't their Nana and Pop Pop at the drop of a hat. I don't see how people can do it!

But with all that being said, life ain't always beautiful but its a beautiful ride.

"Life aint always beautiful
Sometimes it's just plain hard
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart
Life aint always beautiful

You think you're on your way
And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day
But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has its own way of takin it's sweet time"

Wow Wow Wednesday!

I have SERIOUSLY got to get on the ball with my blogging! Life is so hectic right now but I honestly can't complain. I love staying busy. Last weekend was our annual Kines' family reunion at Lake Seminole, Georgia. It was our 5th reunion and as always, we had a great time. It was rather sad because of Uncle Dan passing away a few weeks prior and he absolutely LOVED our family reunions. It is always good catching up with relatives you don't see regularly. I chased Preslei around the lake because all she wanted to do was play with the duck (who were in fact Canadian geese). She wasn't too happy that she couldn't play with them but being the over-protective Mom I am, all I could imagine was an alligator coming to eat her up or either her fall in the lake! I'm such a pessimist!

I'm SUPER excited about my upcoming weekends! Tomorrow, my entire family, well my parents, my brother's family and my family are heading up to the North Georgia mountains to Blue Ridge, GA for a nice weekend getaway! We booked the most beautiful cabin and have plans to take the kidlets to a pumpkin farm, an apple orchard and for some adult fun, we are going to a winery! Its going to be perfect and I can't wait to post pics when we get back! The following weekend is HALLOWEEN! Unfortunately, we were unable to host the Halloween festival at our house this year because one of the local schools puts on a HUGE fall festival every year and they decided to have theirs on Halloween too. :( Oh well, there's always next year! But I am looking forward to taking Preslei to the fall festival at the school! The weekend after Halloween is my Mommy getaway weekend! I am in DIRE need of a "me" weekend. I have to admit, I feel like a bad mom because I want to have a "me" weekend but Preslei is hitting the peak of her clingy stage and its wearing on me. :( Plus, lately she isn't wanting to have anything to do with Keith so I think it will be a great bonding weekend for them. So, where am I going........I'm going to Atlanta to spend some MUCH needed quality time with my best friend Brian. Since having Preslei, I haven't made enough time for my friends and since Preslei is older now, I am going to hit up the ATL with him! I am such a small town girl that is dying to experience the city life so I can't wait!

So, what's a post without a picture? This is Preslei ADORING Braelyn last week when we stopped by for a quick visit. I absolutely cannot wait to have another baby! Seriously, I would have 10 if I could afford it! And when I see Preslei practice her Mommy skills on her cousin Caden and Miss Braelyn, she is going to be the best big sister! Makes my heart completely melt!

Welcome to the world Miss Braelyn

My best friend, Ashley, is officially an Aunt. Her little sister, Caroline, and her husband, Jerry, just welcomed their daughter, Braelyn McKinley Scott, into the world at 12:22pm, weighing 6lbs 15oz!!! And Caroline had NO DRUGS!!!! I couldn't more happier for her! Caroline has ALWAYS been like my little sis and to see her become a Mom is amazing! Thank you Jesus that Jerry was home for his mid-tour leave from serving our country in Afghanistan! Unless his leave is extended, he will have to go back to Afghanistan on Friday and will return home in March.

Caroline, I love you so much and am very very happy for you!

Braelyn, you sweet, sweet baby girl! I can't wait to hold you and spoil you and now Preslei will have another baby to adore! I already love you and haven't met you yet!

August video....Preslei signs! :^)

I can't believe I haven't posted this on here. After seeing my blogger pal, Jenny's, little girl use sign language then I just knew I wanted to get Preslei into some classes. This summer I enrolled her into an amazing Sing and Sign Language class in Tallahassee. We went every Saturday and she had an AMAZING time. Preslei knows about 13 different signs and I am so proud of her. She hasn't been using them as much because her vocabularly has drastically improved since the summer and she can actually tell you want she wants now. (Where did my little baby go?!)

Here is a video from August.

Remember this name.....BRIAN MASON

I wanted to share, with anyone who is reading, about a guy that I am proud to call one of my best friends. Brian and I have become great friends the past few years. We were friends in middle school and high school but have become very close over the last few years. He is an amazing and talented person whom I admire very much for his determination in chasing his dreams. Regardless on where each of our lives takes us, I know that I can always tell him anything and vice versa. Since having Preslei, I haven't called like I should but he completely understands. That's how a true friend is. I was pulling up his dancing videos on YouTube and I just starting getting teary-eyed because it made me realize how much I miss him. So, I wanted to share a couple of videos of his amazing work. I am just so proud to call him one of my best friends. I love you SO much Brian and you mean the WORLD to me! :)

DANCING........


SINGING.....

Weight Loss update

As of yesterday, I have officially lost 33lbs! And I walked my first mile last night. Not too shabby!

xoxo

Semper Fi Uncle Dan.....

It seems that I have sort of been neglecting my blog a bit. I honestly think that fall is more hectic for us than the summer was!!!! So, what's been going on with us. Well for starters, Keith passed his CDL exam and there was no issue with his eyesight but we did get him some glasses and he needed a stronger contact lens for his left eye.

Last Thursday, I got a phone call from Dad saying that his oldest brother, Dan, was in the hospital and wasn't expected to make it. He had not been in the hospital prior to that day so I was shocked. I asked my Dad if he wanted me to go to the hospital and he said no that just the siblings were going. After thinking long and hard, I decided to drive up there (its about an hour from me) mainly to support my Dad because he was crying on the phone which completely broke my heart. My Dad and I butt heads ALOT but that's my Daddy and I would die for him without thinking twice about it. So, I get up to the hospital and when Uncle Dan's wife, Faye, asked if I wanted to go see Uncle Dan, I told her no that I couldn't. I have had a phobia of hospitals since I was 11. My grandpa died of Leukemia and was in and out of hospitals and I just don't like them, especially when the patients are terminal. After thinking about it, I decided to go back and see Uncle Dan and be there to see him and to support my Dad. Let me tell you, that was one of the hardest things I have had to do in a long, long time. Meanwhile, my Dad didn't know I was up there or even going. When Faye and I rounded the corner in ICU, I saw my Dad and I just broke down. He and I walked back to the room and it tore my heart out seeing my Uncle in that bed. Dad said they had sedated him with pain medicine but Dad told him I had came up to see him and I rubbed his arm and told him I loved him. Even though that was soooooo hard for me to do, I am so grateful for being able to say that.

Uncle Dan died about 10 minutes after I left the hospital. I don't think I could have dealt with that if I had been there.

Uncle Dan was a PROUD retired Marine. He fought in Vietnam and he bled red, white and blue. He always liked to send a bazillion emails that most of the time I deleted without even reading them because he would "cc" you on every email conversation he had with someone. Uncle Dan was the oldest of the 10 children my Grandma had and he was often the "leader" of the family. If you all know me and my family, the Kines' are an extremely close family and the pride that runs in our hearts and souls is something indescribable. We would give you the shirt off our backs if you needed one but if you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us. I kid you not, everyone in my town knows "the Kines clan" probably because there are just so many of us. So when Uncle Dan died, it was hard. Now that I am a mom myself, it absolutely BROKE my heart for my Grandma (who will be 90 in December) because this is the 2nd son she has lost. Your children arent supposed to pass away before you.

The funeral service was absolutely AMAZING. He had a full military funeral and the sight of the Marines dressed in their dress attire took my breath away. When the Marines stood by the casket before carrying it out of the chapel, they all saluted my Uncle. Talk about instant chills and tears. I am so proud of my Uncle for everything he did and am such a proud American.

The day Uncle Dan passed, I was rummaging through my emails because I had hoped my "deleted" file hadn't emptied because I wanted to read some emails Uncle Dan had sent earlier in the week. I saved about 11 of them and I just broke down reading some of them because the last one he sent was 2 days before he died. TWO DAYS! It was an email talking about plans for our upcoming Annual Kines Family Reunion we have every year in October. The reunion is always held around my Grandpa's bday and in that email Uncle Dan had talked about how he couldn't wait for the day he met his Dad again. Wow. Two days later, he saw both of his Fathers, Jesus Christ and his own dad.

Semper Fi, Uncle Dan, Semper Fi. I will never forget all our talks at the family reunions or you telling me how proud of me you were for being such a good Mom.

glamRbaby GIVEAWAY

My good friend, Noelle, has posted a new giveaway on her blog! Check it out!!!!

Also, how cool is it that she used to babysit Jessie James?! I'm telling ya, I totally believe in that six degrees of separation! :^)

http://glamrbaby.blogspot.com/2009/09/bright-new-star-jessie-james-and.html

Long time, no post.....

Well for starters, our girls night out didn't happen but maybe sometime soon, I will have to schedule another one. Being a Mom definitely means don't ever write something in pen!

I would like everyone that reads my blog to say an extra little prayer for Keith today. Let me give you the background first. Keith has had two detached retinas and had surgery for both of them. During the last surgery, they had to completely remove the lens in his left eye. For all you out there that have contacts, Keith has a contact for his left eye that is a +7.50 and he still can't see that well. So it never fails, when you take one step forward, you always take two steps back. For those of you that know me in real life, Keith accepted a job at our electrical company as a lineman a few months ago. He absolutely LOVES this job. One of the requirements for this job is he has to be able to obtain his CDL license within 6 months. So, Keith went to take his exam this past Saturday and when it came to the eye exam, he couldn't pass it. I don't think I have seen Keith this upset in a very long time. This new job meant a world of a change for us and now to think it may be stripped away is truly devastating. He has an appointment with his eye doctor this afternoon to see if there is anything that can be done, like glasses, that he can wear to pass this eye test. He can see great with both eyes but when he is asked just to see with his left eye, he can't. He has seen several doctors about doing a lens implant but he has too much scar tissue that they won't operate.

Please say a little prayer for my family.

On a more positive note, I received the pictures from B4 Photography. Brandi NEVER ceases to amaze me. I absolutely LOVE that girl. She is such an amazing person inside and out and I truly feel honored to call her a friend even though she lives in Texas and I live in Georgia.

Here's my favorite picture of them all!

New picture!

Preslei had her very first "in studio" session with Dina Ivory in Tallahassee. Dina hosts this session called, "Miss Dina's Models" and you get a free session and one free photo. Here is the result!

Weight Loss Update

I went to the doctor for my 2nd band fill and guess what.......I've lost a total of 24.5 lbs since surgery! 9lbs in 6 weeks! Not too shabby! Although, I wish it was more but I am satisfied. Especially since my fat butt hasn't exercised one bit! It is just WAY too hot in this South Georgia heat!

Ebay listing

I have SLOWLY started going through some of Preslei's clothes and listed them on Ebay. If you are interested, check them out! Most ALL of her clothes have only been worn a handful of times! This child is too spoiled!!!

http://shop.ebay.com/kines_amanda/m.html?_nkw=&_armrs=1&_from=&_ipg=

And the winner is.......

Amanda Baggett-Layne!!!! Congrats girl!

My favorite vacation spot.....Alaska!

I'm jumping on the Kelly's Korner-Show Us Your Life bandwagon.

My favorite vacation spot would have to be Alaska. Well for starters, I absolutely LOVE cold weather and have always wanted to go to Alaska. Since I live in the south, we RARELY get cold winters and never get snow. I got the opportunity of a lifetime when one of my best friends, Carol, and her family got stationed back at Fort Richardson, AK. Her husband, Toby, is in the Army. In April of 2007, Carol bought me a plane ticket and I stayed a week with her and her family in the beautiful state of Alaska!

(This is me standing on a frozen lake. Three days later, half the lake had already melted!)

(This is me at the famous, Beluga Point. They say this is one of the best places to see the Beluga Whales when they "run". You have to walk down some rocks to get to this point and my clumsy butt fell trying to climb back up the rocks, and am now the proud owner of a scar on my knee that was obtained in Alaska, LOL.)

(This photo makes me laugh. This was taken the day Carol and I went down to Portage. We stopped at some petting zoo on the way back home and this guy was getting off a helicopter and asked us for a ride. CRAZY Carol asked where he was going and he told her he was staying at the Alyeska Ski Resort so Carol told him to hop in we were driving by there. I was like, OMG Carol, this dude could murder us! Well, low and behold, he is a professional Austrian snowboarder, Gigi Ruf. He was in Alaska shooting a snowboarding video for the company he is signed with. How cool is that?! and yes, thank you Jesus he wasn't a serial killer! Carol said she decided to give him a ride because the ski resort accomodates only the wealthy! )

I am hoping that Keith, Preslei and I can plan a trip up there next year! Toby is currently deployed to Afghanistan so I want to wait until he comes home so Keith will have a hunting and fishing buddy!

My favorite photo(s)

This just screams, "I'm such a diva!!!" LOL

Preslei was about 3 months old in these photos. I love this photo because it truly shows her personality. Even at 3 months old, she was always the happy baby. Preslei NEVER just cried to cry. The only time she cried was when she was hungry, seriously. (The above two photos were taken by the one and only, Brandi Fornof. She is truly AMAZING! http://b4photography.blogspot.com/

My sweet sweet baby!!! This was taken after INHALING her first milkshake! She has the SWEETEST smile! How could you resist that?! She was 14 months old in this photo.

Start here with your content. Replace this paragraph, and everything down to AND INCLUDING the word: STOP. DO NOT REMOVE OR CHANGE THE CODE BEYOND THE WORD STOP BELOW! The next Tuesday Blog Hop is FAVORITE PHOTO(S). It's time to show off your latest photos that you love. Post them up, and don't forget to put captions so we can all enjoy them even more. See an example of the last photo blog hop here: http://www.mcklinkyblog.com/2009/07/mcklinky-photo-blog-on-tuesday-sample.html Also, if you would like me to consider publishing your photos in SeriousLife Magazine (www.seriouslifemagazine.com), submit them here:
http://www.seriouslifemagazine.com/submit_content_forms.asp?c=photos
...STOP

My best friend

"A person is only complete when she has a true friend to understand her, to share all her passions and sorrows with, and to stand by her throughout her life."

Words can never express how grateful I am to have a best friend like you, Ashley. Thank you for always being my rock, the shoulder to cry on and the hand that slaps the crap of out me when I need it! :^)

(Circa '97 or '98)

Giveaway

I just wanted to clarify that to be entered in the giveaway, you must leave a comment on my blog. I can't keep up with all the comments on Facebook. Thanks!!!!! :^)

Two Twenty~Nine Designs Giveaway

How would you like to win one one of these bracelets? Well, I am in the very beginning stages of starting to sell jewelry here and there. If it takes off then great, if not, at least I'm doing something creative and fun! I have to admit, my talents are few and far between but a few years ago I learned how to make the "Emily Ray" type jewelry. I think it is so much fun being able to make jewelry because then you can make a bracelet, a pendant and/or earrings to match your outfits!!! I really didn't think much about selling jewelry until my best friend, Ashley, asked me to come up with a name for her Etsy store. (She makes the cutest lanyard/id badge holders out of medicine vial tops) Since she is a Registered Nurse, I thought of Real Nice (RN) Designs. (People always say that RN stands for Real Nice). I have some very talented friends that are just so stinkin' creative it makes me a little jealous! ;^) (http://www.glamrbaby.com/ and http://bellabowz.blogspot.com/) Seriously, I couldn't make a dang bow to save my life!!!! and (http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6826593) So I thought, you know, why not start making jewelry and see how it goes, I mean, I don't want to do it full time or anything but just as a hobby.

I have now named my little "hobby", "Two Twenty~Nine Designs". I thought what better way to kick off my new adventure than to do a giveaway?! So, here are the "rules":

1. Post a link of my blog on your blog or mention my blog on your facebook or twitter and post the link.
2. Leave me a comment letting me know you are interested as well as your email address.
3. On August 14, I will write down all the names and have my hubby draw a name to win a bracelet that is made by me!!! It will look similar to the one I have posted. I will announce the winner on a separate blog post and also send an email to the winner.

Good Luck!!!!

(By the way, that is not my photo. I can make bracelets identical to the one shown. Just wanted to clarify!)

Start here with your content. Replace this paragraph, and everything down to AND INCLUDING the word: STOP. DO NOT REMOVE OR CHANGE THE CODE BEYOND THE WORD STOP! ...STOP

My sweet angel

I absolutely ADORE my child. My friend, Melanie, took this picture for me. THANK YOU Melanie. She was taking my nephew's pictures and my brother and sister in law wanted to get a picture with Preslei and Caden too! Preslei thinks Caden is HER baby, no one elses.......seriously. I think she may need a little brother or sister soon!

Preslei says, "shhhh.........don't tell my Nana and Pop-Pop about the pictures!!!! Aunt Cori is going to surprise Nana and Pop-Pop with a picture of us!!!

2009 Halloween/Fall Festival Bash

Can you believe that Halloween is just around the corner? Well, I have always liked Halloween, not necessarily for the ghouls, ghosts and monsters but for all the kids dressing up and having a good time. I decided to do something fun this year. It's actually kind of sad to me that Trick or Treating isn't what it used to be. I remember as a kid, going to the "good" neighborhoods and just going door to door saying, "Trick or Treat!!!" Well in this day and time, I would NEVER let my child do that! I mean, you just can't trust anyone anymore. So, I thought, how cool would it be to have a big Halloween/Fall Festival party at our house this year!!! I debated whether to make it just a fall festival and host it after Halloween or actually host it on Halloween. So, after talking with Lauren (who is going to help me host it) we decided to do it on Halloween. That way, kids will have a safe place to go and have fun and wear their costumes on Halloween night! All the planning is of course, in the beginning stages, but we are going to have a hay ride, photo booth, arts & crafts center, pumpkin painting, bounce house, a costume awards show, etc. I am getting all excited just thinking about it!!!! :^)

I'm hoping this will be a big event that people will enjoy! I am trying to plan things like this for our kids and friends' kids because I think it is a shame that nothing is ever offered in Cairo for kids.

Recipes.....I want YOUR recipes

So I was thinking last night how fun it would be to hear some of your recipes. I read a recipe on Kelly's Korner blog and tried it last night. I'm not sure if I didn't like it because my sinuses are going crazy and I can't really taste anything or what. But I did love how it was quick and simple. Who can go wrong with a casserole?! So, I'd LOVE to hear some of your recipes! I'm always wanting to learn how to make new things!!!

Catching up......

Ahhhh the joys of life! Toddler relaxation.

Gotta love new friends!

Living in a small town kind of limits the "new" friends you make because you practically know EVERYONE. I love meeting new people but I don't really have a lot of close friends with kids. Recently, well a couple of months ago, I met my new friend, Wendy. I had always knew her name and knew who she was but never really "knew" her. Wendy has a daughter, Grace (1 & 1/2). There is also Lauren. Lauren and I had gone to school together since middle school but as with most classmates, you tend to drift apart when you spend time with different friends and groups of people. Lauren and I reconnected last year and she has two girls, Brownyn (4)and Blakely (almost 2). After chatting on Facebook and Myspace, I realized how alike Wendy, Lauren and I are in many ways and we have the same parenting beliefs and style, which is VERY hard to find in other people lately. I am a firm believer in exposing your children to as much possible. I have always wanted my children to grow up very cultured and exposed to all sorts of things. It is such a nice feeling to know I have a great new friends who want the same thing for their children.

My biggest pet peeve is immature parents that refuse to grow up and just leave their kids every weekend to go party. Sorry, but that isn't what being a parent is about. Once you have children, your life should revolve around them.



My family and Wendy's family decided to go see fireworks on the 4th and we had the best time. Granted, it was hotter than HELL but it was worth it. I only got to take one picture before my batteries died! :(




Next weekend, we are going to Destin for a mini-vacation and is having the absolute BEST photographer (http://www.b4photography.com/) take some pictures. Brandi took our pics last year and did an amazing job so I jumped at the opportunity again this year! Seriously, if Brandi didn't take a vacation to Destin every year, I would fly to Dallas just to do pics with her.

For once, thank God for delayed flights!

No one ever wants to hear the words, "I'm sorry ma'am, your flight has been delayed." Well, for once, I'm glad those words were spoken to one of my very best friends, Carol. Carol lives in Anchorage, Alaska, well Ft. Richardson, AK to be exact. Carol and I met while she and her family lived in my town a few years ago. Her husband, Toby, and I went to school together but never really knew each other. He enlisted in the Army and met Carol, they married, had two children, moved from Ft. Campbell, KY to Ft. Richardson, AK. Toby was deployed to Afghanistan and got injured and later got out of the Army, which is why they moved here. After living here for about 2 years, Toby decided to re-enlist and they moved back to Alaska in December of 2006. During their time living here, Carol and I became very close. The funny thing with our friendship is that we fight like cats and dogs if we are around each other for too long! We are more like sisters rather than friends, seriously. So, I had the trip of a lifetime in April of 2007. I went to Alaska, and let me just say, it is breathtaking. Toby deployed to Iraq that summer and came home I think the following January. We cried together about his deployment and rejoiced in him homecoming.

Carol was the first person other than Keith to know that I was pregnant. I remember waking up at 4am and taking the pregnancy test and thinking, OMG, who can I call?! Well Alaska is 4 hours behind us so I called Carol!

So being that I hadn't seen Carol in over two years and Preslei is now an addition to the family, I was soooo excited when Carol called and said that her flight had been delayed a day. Carol had been home in KY because her grandfather had passed away. So as soon as she told me she was in Atlanta, I called into work and said I wouldn't be in on Monday because I was going to Atlanta to spend a few hours with Carol. Preslei finally got to meet her Aunt Cay Cay! The closer I got to Carol's hotel, my eyes became filled with tears. As we stood at the hallway, I just cried. (This is when I wished I would have listened to my gut and brought the video camera) Carol bent down and said, "Hey baby girl!" and Preslei went running for Carol. Ahhhh, it was so sweet! So, we hugged and cried and cried and then did what Carol and I do best. We shopped.

I never knew how precious a mere four hours could be!

Tuesday's thoughts for the day

Why do I always have to voice my opinions and/or concerns before thinking? Why do I let things bother me? Why can't I just let things be over and done with? Why can't I accept the fact that life doesn't always go the way you want it to? Why do I expect so much from people? Why.........

I find it funny how most people tell me they wish they had my audacity and how they wish they were able to express their feelings like me. While sometimes I think this is a good trait, it can sometimes bite you in the ass. But then again why is it some things you want to say so badly, you can't because you are scared of how people will react? Ahhh such is life.

Just sayin'.........

One week post op update

I had my surgery last Thursday, May 21, 2009. All went very well. To my surprise, I had absolutely no pain. I have 3 tiny, maybe an inch long, incisions on my stomach and one longer incision close to my left underarm. Thursday and Friday were kind of a blur because I was still recovering from the anethesia. Tuesday has been my worst day but I think it was because it was my first day back at work. I had my post-op follow up with Dr. B yesterday and to my surprise, I have lost 20 lbs!!! Now granted that is my weight loss over a 4 week period. I know I won't drop the pounds that fast anymore but it is definitely motivation! I can tell a difference in my rings and my bracelet. I wear a Pandora bracelet 24/7 and the times I do take it off, I just wiggle it on and off my hand. Now, I barely have to wiggle it and it falls off! Funny how something so stupid can get you excited!!!

I will say this, if I never smell chicken broth or eat Jello again, I will die a very happy woman! Living on that stuff for 5 days will make you go nuts! :^)

Fat.

Yep, fat. Its one of the many words in the English dictionary that describes me. Am I ashamed? Yes, but am I doing something about it? HELL YES! I'm not one of those people that are sensitive to the word, never have been. I mean, I got myself to this point. Being fat is something I have dealt with my ENTIRE life and I know I will struggle with it the rest of my life. Its in my blood. My entire paternal side of the family are HUGE people. Not necessarily huge as in fat (even though most are) but we just grow 'em big. Put it this way, I think my Dad is the shortest of all his 6 living brothers and he's like 6'1 or so. I have one Uncle that is 6'11!!!! Wowzers!!! No wonder I'm 5'10!!!

I haven't shared this with very many people because quite frankly, I don't want it known all over town! But I feel like I should blog about it, to get it off my chest. Okay, so here goes..........

Tomorrow is the beginning of my life. Tomorrow is the day my new journey begins. The journey to becoming healthy, the journey of becoming an active Mom, the journey of weightloss.

I am having the gastric lapband procedure.

Whew........and I'm getting emotional typing this.

No, not the gastric bypass but the lapband. Its less invasive and much safer. They take a band and place it around the upper part of your stomach and inject saline to tighten the band to make it so that you won't eat as much.

Some people are going to be negative and think, you are just being lazy, you are taking the easy way out. Being fat isn't all about just eating yourself sick. I admit, I LOVE to eat. I don't eat a whole lot but its what I eat. God knows I love my carbs and sugars!!! People can think what they want to think, I really honestly don't care. I'm not doing this for anyone other than myself, my husband and my daughter (and future kids). I want Preslei to grow with a Mom and a Dad. I want her to have a Mom that can run around the yard with her and not get tired. I don't want her embarrassed of me because I'm fat. I want to LIVE. I don't want to get heart disease, diabetes and other weight related health issues.

Many people keep asking, "Are you nervous?" My answer is absolutely not. I admit, when I think about the surgery, I get knots in my stomach but I think its more of excitement rather than nerves. Wouldn't you be excited to start an amazing new chapter in your life?!

I'm 100% dedicated to this new way of life, eating and living. After all, I better be because my stupid insurance company won't pay for this surgery so I'm having to foot the bill. Geez. But seriously, I think because I'm having to pay out the wahzoo for it, it will make me 100 times more dedicated. On paper (with the execption of my weight) I'm as healthy as a horse, but that is right now. I can't guarantee that 20 years from now.

I dont' necessarily have a "goal" because I don't even know what I weigh now. In high school, I lost 40 pounds and weighed 165 at my lowest and I thought I was fat then. Because I wasn't 120lbs like my other friends, I was depressed. I didn't eat for a week. Then I realized how stupid I was. But ever since then, I never wanted to know my weight for fear of sinking into a depression again. I just want to feel good about myself again.

So, tomorrow, say a little prayer for me that all goes well. Thank you so much for the people that are supporting me on this. Keith, My Mom and Dad, I love yall more than words can EVER describe, my brother and sister in law (yes, I love yall too!!! :) Ashley, Lauren, all my other friends, Melanie, who is going to be my rock and pusher, and the other select few that know about this. (Why does it feel like I'm giving an acceptance speech?!)

I can't wait to post before and after pics a year from now!

xoxo
Amanda

Our first "real" family vacation

Okay, so we went on our first "real" family vacation this past weekend. Yes, we have traveled places since the birth of Preslei but not just the three of us. It was only an overnight trip but we had the best time. My 26th birthday was this past Sunday (May 17th) and I decided instead of Keith buying some gift that I will never use and will just collect dust, I wanted to make it memorable. I decided I wanted to go to Atlanta to the Georgia Aquarium for my birthday. Ever since the aquarium opened, I had been dying to go. About a month or so ago, I bought Preslei a little fish tank for her bedroom. The kid LOVES fish! Every morning she wakes up and points to her fish and says, "Dat!!!" or says something that sounds like fish. If we have friends or family that come over to visit, I will tell her to go show them her fish and she will run to her room and point and say "dat!". So cute. So we "upgraded" and bought a 10 gallon tank for our living room with bigger and prettier fish. The kid is IN LOVE! So I thought, what better time to go to the Georgia Aquarium.

We wake up, well excuse me, I wake up at 5:30 Saturday morning and pack our bags and we are on the road at 7:30. Atlanta is about a 3 1/2 hour drive which isn't bad at all. I have to tell you, I love taking road trips but Atlanta traffic scares the bejesus out of me! I think I should have gotten a prescription for Xanax before leaving or something!!! Preslei slept a good portion of the trip and woke up when we were about an hour from Atlanta.

Give a kid a sucker and they will love you for life!!!

So we get to Atlanta and find the Aquarium and park and get in line. Let me tell you, I am SO glad I decided to purchase the tickets in advance. The line was incredibly long!!!! We zipped on through and made our way in. The first hallway had huge floor to ceiling aquariums on both sides and of course, Preslei was AMAZED and was like, "Ooohhhh dat!!!" This place is unbelievable. The had different exhibits like the Cold Water Quest, Tropical Diver, Ocean Explorer, River Rapids (or something like that). I personally could have cared less about the river thing because we see those type of fish and animals regularly since we live near rivers and lakes.

We stayed at the aquarium for about 4 hours and Preslei was in dire need of a nap so we walked across the street and booked a room at the Hilton Garden Inn. I have to say, for being a downtown Atlanta hotel and directly across the street from the aquarium and the Centenniel Olympic Park, it was only $99 a night! Wow! To my surprise, Preslei was WIRED when we got to the hotel. She was jumping on the bed acting like the silly girl she is! She was so wired that she fell of the bed!!! I know, I feel like a bad Mommy!!! It didn't phase her one bit! We had decided that we would all take a nap and head out for dinner on the same block when we woke up. We ate at the cutest little 50's diner called Johnny Rockets. Preslei had her first milkshake and you couldn't pry her hands off the cup!

This is my all-time favorite picture of Preslei!!! Milk mustache and all!

Isn't she just a little ham?! Melts my heart and makes me laugh all at once!

Preslei LOVED our hotel room. There were mirrored sliding closet doors that she would run in and out of playing Hide and Go Seek. I got her on camera a little!

So we decided that Sunday we would take her to the Olympic Park and play that morning and head over the Atlanta Zoo. Well the rain washed away those plans and decided to head home instead. We stopped at the Tanget Outlets and picked up some new clothes for Miss Priss. FYI- The Children's Place had some FANTASTIC deals! I bought a new skirt, some khaki pants, a cardigan set and a dress for Preslei for $4 each! Wow. I couldn't help but think about a blogger friend when I saw this place had a Gymboree Outlet! Miss Bella should seriously become a Gymboree model! :^) She is always decked out in the cutest outfits from that store and always a bow to match!

We finally got home around 7:30 Sunday evening after a day of shopping and driving.

This was the best birthday EVER! Being able to spend a wonderful weekend away from home with the two most important people in my life.

Wow.

So, I just got back from my lunch break. Why is it when you drive around you start deep thinking? Hmm. So, I was thinking about this blog and how much I am going to enjoy doing this and was thinking about everything I have gone through to get me where I am today. I started thinking about the baby we lost. Never until now, has it crossed my mind that "her" original due date was July 3rd and with Preslei's pregnancy, I took my first pregnancy test and had a positive result on July 3rd. How ironic is that?! God truly gave us our miracle.

Our story

Keith and I had known each other since high school but didn't officially "meet" until October of 2001. He was living with a mutual friend who my best friend, Ashley, and I went to visit before going out. So, we walked in, and I see this guy laying back in a chair with a pale yellow Polo shirt on and was like, "dang, that is "Catman"? (his nickname since high school that I absolutely HATE). So, long story short, he and I went on our first date the following Saturday. On April 9, 2005, I married the love of my life at the most perfect plantation in Thomasville, Georgia. We had always talked about kids and I had dreamed of the day I would become a mother my entire life. After all, I babysat for half of Grady County since the age of 13. While we had both agreed that we wanted to wait at least a year things changed in October of 2005. Before Keith and I had gotten married, I had been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and my doctor informed me when we wanted to start a family I would need to be on Clomid and Metformin. Okay, so not a big deal at the time. I would have a period about every four months or so. So, since we were married, every month I didn't have a period, I would rush out and buy a pregnancy test thinking we had gotten pregnant. We were NOT trying to have a baby. So, October rolls around and no period. For once, I thought, I am not going to waste money on a test that I know will be negative. My friend, Carol, just knew I was pregnant and insisted I take a test. So, I buy a test, go home, take it, and low and behold, it is positive. Oh my gosh, what are we going to do?! I have no maternity insurance, we had JUST gotten married. I freaked.

My poor husband had no idea I was taking the test and I walk out of the bathroom crying and he asks what is wrong. My response: "I'm freaking pregnant!!! Oh my god, what are we going to do?! I have to leave, I need to go and think!" And I leave. I leave my poor, shocked husband at home immediately after I tell him I'm pregnant. What was I thinking?!

So, I'm just sobbing away, driving, and I call my best friend, Ashley, and tell her I coming over. As I pull into her drive, she comes out and wonders what is wrong. So I tell her, and her response is, "I'm going to be an aunt!!!!" So, she calms my nerves and I have to go to my parents house. So, I call Keith and apologize and he just wants to make sure I was okay and was completely supportive. I call my mom to see if she and my dad are awake and tell her I'm on the way. I make my way to the door and my mom meets me under the garage and I just fall in her arms and tell her I am pregnant. Completely supportive and tells me that everything will be okay and we go inside and tell my dad, same response.

I get home and Keith and I talked and talked and he reassured me everything was fine and it happened for a reason. After the shock wears off, I am so excited. Now keep in mind, I am only 21 years old at the time. We think of baby names, look at baby clothes. About 3 weeks later, we had a triple date with some friends and as we were leaving the restaurant, I had to use the restroom. I was spotting. Carol and Ashley reassured me that some spotting was normal but to take it easy. I couldn't take it easy, I was scared. I bled all weekend and went to the doctor on Monday and had bloodwork done. I lost the baby. It didn't hit me until my brother called and told me he loved me. I lost it, I lost my sanity.

Since the miscarriage, Keith and I decided that we would get maternity insurance, get things in order and try to start our family again. I went to the doctor and told her how I hadn't had a period but we wanted to try again and she refused to put me on the medication that she previously told me I would need because "I was too fat to get pregnant". Her words. So, I tried losing weight, didn't work. For two years I struggled with infertility and for two years, my doctor continuously told me there was nothing she would do to help me get pregnant because of my size.

God answered our prayers. An old friend reappeared in my life and we discovered we were both going through the exact same thing. EXACTLY the same thing. She referred me to Dr. M, a doctor in Tallahassee that had given her Clomid despite her size. I was iffy because I didn't think I would feel comfortable with a male doctor. I bit the bullet and scheduled an appointment. He was a God-send. He was so reassuring and so compassionate and told me that my weight shouldn't determine whether or not I would become a Mom. I was on Clomid for two months. Because I was taking my BBT every morning, I knew I was pregnant before the test confirmed it because my temps stayed elevated. On July 3, 2007, I was pregnant. If it hadn't been for "A" (my friend), I could still be in the same situation today. "A", you will NEVER know how much I am grateful for you, never.

The first trimester was so scary and until I saw my "butterbean" on the ultrasound monitor, my nerves were a mess. Despite what my previous doctor told me, I had the PERFECT pregnancy. Perfect.

On St. Patrick's Day, March 17, 2008, at 5:47 p.m., via c-section, Keith and I welcomed our perfect daughter, Preslei Paige Phillips. She weighed 9lbs. 9oz. and was 21 1/2 inches long. She was perfect. We had our miracle.

First Post

This post will be short and sweet because I need to figure all this stuff out before I start my blogging mayhem!

I am hoping this will be a great way for friends and family to follow our journey. Hope you enjoy!

*Amanda*