Life ain't always beautiful but its a beautiful ride

I feel like being completely random today so my words will probably make no sense.

Do you ever have days you just want to wallow in self-pity? I do. More often than I would like to admit. I think one of my biggest faults is being a very analytical person. I analyze everything and everyone. I definitely have struggles in life as to whether I'm doing the rights things or being the person that I should be. Its hard. I have always been the type of person that no matter what you are going through in life, you learn to deal with it and just put on a happy face. I have always had a wall built up that it makes it hard to show emotion, raw emotion. I'm 90% of the time a happy person but sometimes I need to just express emotions that I normally don't express. I need to cry because I never cry to just let it out. Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve unhappiness. I mean, is God punishing me? Granted, I have soooo much to be thankful for, my health, my amazing daughter, my friends, my family. I just look at other peoples' lives and wonder, why can't I have that? I know, you shouldn't be envious or jealous of people or things but I'm only human, right? And you never know what they are going through either. My biggest struggle is I constantly wonder what life would be like outside of "small town USA". There is just so much I want out of life than what this town has to offer. Living in a small town definitely has its perks but it also has limitations. I don't like having limits. I want to be able to do and became anything I want to. I want my children to grow up in a cultured world and not have to endure all the small minded opinions that you do here. But what keeps me here? My family. I am such a family-oriented person that I don't know what I would do if I couldn't see my parents whenever I wanted and it'd kill me to know that my children couldn't their Nana and Pop Pop at the drop of a hat. I don't see how people can do it!

But with all that being said, life ain't always beautiful but its a beautiful ride.

"Life aint always beautiful
Sometimes it's just plain hard
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart
Life aint always beautiful

You think you're on your way
And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day
But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has its own way of takin it's sweet time"