The Phillips Family

31 weeks pregnant

2012-02-16T16:25:00.002-05:00

31 WEEKS

Pregnancy Highlights

How Far Along: 31 weeks

Size of baby: Since I went to the doctor Monday (and blogged on Monday) she is measuring a little over 5lbs.

Gender/Name: It's a GIRL!!!! Annalise Claire Phillips :)

Maternity Clothes: They're a necessity these days and why, oh why, am I already getting to the point where they all look like CRAP on me?!?! It is WAY too early to be feeling like this!

Belly Button: Still the same as last week.

Movement: She is starting to move around all hours of the day now.
Sleep: Definitely getting harder and harder to get comfy. Plus, my pelvis is popping again so that's annoying.

Symptoms: Shortness of breath, I can barely bend over while sitting (SOOOOO annoying), my hips hurt, my sciatic nerve hurts.....shall I continue? HA!

What I miss: Nothing at all! I am so thankful and blessed to be pregnant again.

What I'm looking forward to: Hmm...well let's see. 1. I'm SO ready to get her furniture back from the sweet lady that is refinishing it for us. 2. Ready to get her bedding in the mail but it won't ship until the week of March 12th (blah) and 3. I ordered her carseat cover and it shipped today! It was made using the same fabric as her bedding!!

Questions/Concerns: Same as last week.
Cravings: Chick-Fil-A.....Mmmmm.......

Best moment this week: Getting everything ready for Keith & Preslei's "date" on Saturday night! He's taking her to the Father/Daughter dance and I'm just so excited! LOL, I have a very close guy friend that we've been friends since I was 17 and I was asking for his fashion advice on what matches with what. I don't know if I'm just having pregnancy brain again or what but I was like, "dang, I don't know what color shirt/tie/pants goes with what" so I had a lightbulb moment and was like, "oh, XYZ will know since he dresses like that for work" so I the texting began. Bless his heart, I was texting pictures of outfit choices. But, I think Keith will be set. I can't wait to take pics of him looking all dapper, lol.

Funny of the week: See above. :)

A peek into my view....

2012-02-16T10:23:00.000-05:00

Disregard the crappy cell phone picture but, this is what I see every time I look down. Apparently, Annalise will chillin' on my left side because my belly looks all lopsided.

Thoughts for the day

2012-02-14T10:53:00.000-05:00

There are moments in life that happen when you know it is just a "God thing". Today, I can almost assure you I had one of those moments. I can't share exactly what it is (even though I'd love to), isn't it just an amazing feeling knowing that He is always there?

I have an unspoken prayer request that if it is in His will, it will be done.

On another note, today is Valentine's day. This is actually my least favorite day of the year. Why you ask? Personally, I don't believe in it. This doesn't make me hate romance or anything but why should there be just one day designated for your significant other to shower you with love. They should do that EVERY day. Many years ago, Keith and I had a discussion that while flowers are nice, I would much rather him keep that money in our checking account because the price of flowers are inflated SO much on this day and then they charge you $15 just for a delivery fee! In Cairo, it takes a hop, skip and a jump to get to most businesses so I don't understand how they can justify $15 for delivery.

Imagine all the love you have for your husband/wife/significant other and/or children.....did you know that the love God has for us cannot even come close to the amount of love you have? I don't know about you but that just gives me chills because I know how much I love my family.

If you are single on this day, just know that God LOVES each and every one of us so there's nothing to be sad about.

30 weeks (and 4 days) pregnant

2012-02-13T15:18:00.001-05:00

30 WEEKS

Pregnancy Highlights

How Far Along: 30 weeks

Size of baby: As of today (had another check-up), Dr. Morales is measuring her to weigh...prepare yourselves.....a little over FIVE pounds. Say it with me now people, HOLY SHISHKABOBS!!!

Gender/Name: It's a GIRL!!!! Annalise Claire Phillips :)

Maternity Clothes: They're a necessity these days and why, oh why, am I already getting to the point where they all look like CRAP on me?!?! It is WAY too early to be feeling like this!

Belly Button: Still the same as last week.

Movement: She is still most active between 9-9:30pm but she's also pretty rambunctious (no idea if I spelled that correctly or not...Robyn?? LOL I'm too lazy to spell check it) in the mornings now.

Sleep: Definitely getting harder and harder to get comfy. Plus, my pelvis is popping again so that's annoying.

Symptoms: Shortness of breath, I can barely bend over while sitting (SOOOOO annoying), my hips hurt, my sciatic nerve hurts.....shall I continue? HA!

What I miss: Nothing at all! I am so thankful and blessed to be pregnant again.

What I'm looking forward to: I am SO excited about Keith taking Preslei to the Father/Daughter dance this weekend! I cannot wait to see my two loves all dressed up. I'm SO proud of Keith for taking her. Lord knows this is NOT his cup of tea but he knows Preslei LOVES to "twirl around like a princess" so he actually wants to go. Well, maybe not something he wants to do but he's putting on a good front, LOL. I swear, Keith is SOOOOO meek and mild and doesn't like attention AT ALL (which is why he likes the fact I don't post a bazillion pictures of him or talk about him a lot on here....his request, not mine) so I can't imagine how awkward he's going to feel this weekend but he's sucking it up and doing what his baby girl wants to do. :o)

Questions/Concerns: Now that I know Annalise is over 5lbs, I'm wondering how in the world am I going to make it working full time until the end of March!!! Seriously. Now, I'm kinda thinking maybe I'll work until the middle of March. Like, getting up and down to grab stuff off the printer or see clients or to even pee for that matter takes an act of Congress. Plus, I think I may be having some Braxton Hicks. I never had them before with Preslei so it's all new to me. It's mild cramping that comes and goes down low. Nothing intense and it doesn't last too long and it's nothing consistent.

Cravings: Chick-Fil-A.....Mmmmm.......

Best moment this week: Definitely spending the weekend at the beach with my family! I'll blog about that next. Just need to steal my Mom's camera to upload the pictures.

Funny of the week: Oh gosh, my Mom and I were CRACKING up after we left Dr. Morales' office this morning. Like, I was crying I was laughing so hard. I'm pretty sure the motorists of Tallahassee thought I was having a seizure or something, lol. We couldn't help but just laugh at the fact Annalise is SO big. (I'm totally laughing now just thinking about it) but after Dr. M got her measurements and started panning around, he was like, "WOAH, and there's a big foot right there" but I swear, it was hilarious. I started laughing and had to stop because the ultrasound was all shaky. My Mom was like, "He tried to be so composed about it but you know he was like GOOD LORD". My Mom kept cracking jokes like, "Dang, you can just send her and Preslei to play outside when you get home from the hospital she's going to be so big" or "You can just say, "here Annalise, change your diaper"". It was HILARIOUS. You all would just have to know my Mom...she's SOOOOOO dainty and reserved and composed ALL.THE.TIME (so unlike me) that it was just funny to hear her cracking jokes like that.

I know last week, I nicknamed Annalise "BB" short for butterball but now, I keep calling her "tubbawubba". :o) Granted, I don't want to have a 13lbs kid but I honestly don't mind having big babies.

Recent pics of Preslei

2012-02-08T14:28:00.001-05:00

Just a few recent pictures of my crazy kid. The other night, she was goofing off so I got the bright idea of having her imitate the many faces we see on Facebook.

Here's a sweet one of my girl (even though she looks snaggle tooth(ed)....she always pokes her little tongue thru her gap that her bink obsession has caused)

And lastly, me and my girl :o)

(Okay seriously, where does the time go?!?! I swear it was just yesterday when she was a tiny baby! :'(

RIP Mr. Nikon

2012-02-03T15:36:00.000-05:00

When it comes to me having anything new, well, you can almost bet on me ruining it. It's like I have the WORST luck ever. And I mean ever. You see, I think I'm cursed when it involves a digital camera. Back many, many moons ago when digital cameras became the new trend (no, not the ones with the floppy drives built in....remember those?!?! HA!) but the next step up. My wonderful parents bought me a Kodak camera with it's own docking station (man, I thought I was high tech) and sadly, I had it less than a month. Since it was forever ago, I can't remember what happened to it but I had to hide the fact it was broken from my parents. (Sorry Mom & Dad!!)

Fast forward a few years......I got a Canon. I loved it. I had that camera for a good many years until I upgraded to the newer version of the camera. This version had a bigger screen on the back for my viewing pleasure.

So, I'll be first to admit that I am not in any way, shape or form an organized person. Like, NOT AT ALL. And I'm impatient. I mean, really, who has time to put their camera in a camera bag/box thingy?!?! Ugh, not this girl! BIG MISTAKE. Oh, and I'm also known for just slinging and flopping my purse around/down wherever. Now, imagine what happened to that camera. Yep, I slammed my purse down and apparently, my camera was at the bottom and the screen shattered. Grrrr......I had to go back using the outdated Canon but hey, it got the job done.

Fast forward a few years and that's when I started my Blackberry addiction. It's a phone, "computer" and camera all in one! Ditch that camera? Oh yes I did. I mean, dang, you can take a picture and automatically upload it online. JACKPOT baby!

Then came my droid. AAAAHHHHHH.......the chimes of Heaven just rang. That phone takes the BEST pictures in my opinion. But, I still wanted a new camera to be able to take better quality pictures. I REALLY wanted a DSLR but with Miss Annalise on the way, I'm just not spending that kind of money on a want. Keith surprised me at Christmas and bought me a Nikon CoolPix. I really really like(d) it.

So, my curse has came back to haunt me. Earlier this week, I was running hella late to work and somehow or another, I spilled my tumbler full of water into my console where my new little cursed camera was. I have no clue when I spilled the water either. So, after letting it take a mini-vacation in a bag of rice for 3 days, it won't turn on.

:( I'm heartbroken. Keith has now vowed to never buy me another digital camera, LOL.

RIP Mr. Nikon, you lived a short life but you meant a lot to me......

29 weeks (10 more to go!!!)

2012-02-02T09:15:00.001-05:00

29 WEEKS

Pregnancy Highlights

How Far Along: 29 weeks.....this is when I am like, "Come again?!!?" Only TEN weeks and I will FOR SURE have Annalise in my arms! (c-section for all you new peeps)

Size of baby: Before my appointment with Dr. Willis last week, I was using the measurements on babycenter.com but obviously, our girl is exceeding those so I'm just going to skip them. Last Friday, she was weighing 3lbs 7oz.

Gender/Name: It's a GIRL!!!! Annalise Claire Phillips :)

Maternity Clothes: They're a necessity these days.

Belly Button: It is SO weird now b/c the bottom half is like level to my stomach but the top part is still an innie! I've determined that it's because "BB" a/k/a Butterball (you know, like the turkey.....it's her new nickname because after finding out how big she is, I told my Mom that I hope Dr. M won't make me wait until 39 weeks if she keeps on gaining like she is because I'll end up having a butterball turkey!) is SO low.

Movement: She is still most active between 9-9:30pm.

Sleep: This week we have gotten SO off our new schedule and it's just been a mess. I've been like 10 minutes late to work every morning this week and I know the only reason my boss hasn't said something is because he doesn't want to "upset" me and get my blood pressure high, LOL. (That just made me think of a new category every week...."Funny of the week")

Symptoms: Those pains "down there" have returned again. :( BUT, I'm SO glad I self diagnosed myself with SPD (see previous post) because it makes me feel good to know what actually is going on. I can't wait to discuss it with Dr. Morales on the 13th. I'm sure he will get a kick out of my consultation with Dr. Google ;o)

What I miss: Nothing at all! I am so thankful and blessed to be pregnant again.

What I'm looking forward to: Our family vacation and my next doctor's appointment!!

Questions/Concerns: Curious to know if Dr. Morales will want to take Annalise earlier than 39 weeks since she is already a whopper!

Cravings: Nothing really stands out this week.

Best moment this week: Hitting the 10 weeks left mark!

Funny of the week: Yet another reason I love my boss.....As you all know, I had my appointment last Friday with Dr. Willis, the specialist, due to high blood pressure issues. My appointment was at 9am and I get a call on my cell from the office around 9:30. It was my boss. There was an issue with a closing that I had handled that he wasn't aware of and bless his heart, when he's confronted about something and doesn't know what's going on, he is like a deer in headlights. So I guess his gut reaction was to call me, completely oblivious to the fact where I was or what I was there for (even though he knew). He calls and sounds irritated and had this tone in his voice and I immediately got pissed. Thank God Keith and I had already left the hospital. But, I told him what was going on and it was resolved. But it still pissed me off. When I hung up the phone, I looked at Keith and said, "and you wonder why I'm always so drained when I get home and don't have the patience when you start harping on me too". In my defense, it wasn't a big deal AT ALL and it's something I handle ALL the time. It was just the fact that he was asked about it and didn't know what was going on. Nothing intentional. So I texted Donna, my coworker, and told her I didn't appreciate him calling me like that while I was at an appointment for high blood pressure and that I was ticked. I figure, you know what, I'm taking my sweet little time to get back to work and I made a beeline for Target. You know, to relieve some stress.

I get back to the office and my boss was gone for a bit so Donna and I discussed everything and she said she told him I texted her and told her I was mad. Not too long after that, he came back in and I gave him the "squinty eyes" and he was like, "Well thank God I didn't put you in the hospital after my phone call" and we just laughed. Of course I told him why it made me mad but we seriously just laughed it off. Who can say they can be like that with their boss??

LOL and then the other day, he decided to donate one of our old computers to YoungLife and asked me to "hook it up and make sure it works and delete our old stuff on it" (apparently, I'm also the office techie). Now, just imagine my big, fat, pregnant behind crawling UNDER my desk to hook up a friggin' computer. I was NOT a happy camper. I was saying some unmentionables under my breath and then he comes in my office after I finished everything and said something and I was like, "uh huh, well just know I was totally cussing you out while crawling on my fat butt under my desk".

I just love the fact we are a professional firm but we also know we can laugh and cut up at the appropriate times. I am honestly SO blessed to have 2 amazingly awesome people in my life, who I consider family, that I work with for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and don't dread coming to work.

Lightbulb....

2012-01-31T11:21:00.000-05:00

Imagine saying it in the infamous voice of the character off of Despicable Me (as heard here)

I was emailing a friend of mine and asking her if she has experienced this. While I lay in bed during the night and I turn over from one side to the other, my pelvis bone actually pops. It is a low but hard popping noise and I can feel it. It makes me jump b/c it's so hard but it doesn't hurt, if that makes sense.

So, I asked Dr. Google and I found this article. It is EXACTLY what I've dealt with during both pregnancies but this one being the worst.

Link 1
Link 2

I know it may sound silly but I am SO excited to have figured out what has been wrong with me. The Wikipedia explanation is exactly what I've going thru and it even talks about the waddling. I love my doctor and I don't normally think he (or any doctor) is wrong but I just knew round ligament pains wasn't what my deal was.

See, and this is why I love Dr. Google!!!

Family fun day

2012-01-31T09:53:00.000-05:00

This past Sunday, Keith and I decided to FINALLY use my gift certificates I bought on WCTV's "Daily Double Dollar Deal" from September to Angelo's down in Panacea. I absolutely LOVE seafood and we haven't been to Angelo's since Valentine's Day many, many years ago. Preslei absolutely loves the beach and I knew she would have fun so we loaded up around 11:30 and took off. We had a late lunch and ate on the patio/balcony (whatever you call it) looking out over the coast and it was so pretty. Hot, but pretty.

Now, I don't know about y'all but when we have a gift certificate, we always order a TON more food than normal. We ordered an appetizer of crab claws (which I've definitely had better so that was kind of disappointing), Keith ordered shrimp & grouper, I had shrimp & scallops and Preslei wanted chicken (go figure). We had two to-go boxes slap full of food we brought home because they loaded down our plates. I mean, I was like, "GOOD LORD!!!" when they brought it. I mean, I swear, we could have all 3 shared one plate.

After we finished, Keith wanted to go to St. Mark's Refuge so Preslei could see the ducks and possible alligators. Since it was still chilly, Keith said it may be too cold for the gators to be out so we weren't sure. Preslei was so excited because we saw about 6 gators, a bunch of ducks, some herons and a bald eagle. There is also a lighthouse in the park but there was no way I could walk up inside it so didn't go look at it and plus, I don't think Preslei would have found that interesting. Keith put her up on his shoulders and off they went looking for ducks.

It probably doesn't sound like much fun to some people, but we had a blast. I love just riding and looking and being with my little family. All Preslei talked about was how she saw gators, ducks and an eagle.

Here are a few pictures I snapped.

Our chunky monkey, Annalise

2012-01-27T16:40:00.001-05:00

As I mentioned in my previous post, I had to go back and see Dr. Willis because of my blood pressure. I had my appointment this morning and everything looked great except he said there is a teeny tiny bit of too much amniotic fluid but just a little and that it is normal with big babies. He didn't seem concerned since 1. it was just a tiny bit too much and 2. Preslei was a big baby herself weighing in at 9lbs 9oz at birth.

So, guess what he is estimating Annalise to weigh right now (keep in mind, I'm 28 weeks and she should be weighing 2.25lbs).......a WHOPPING 3lbs 7oz. HOLY CRAP. That explains why I am waddling so early!!! The ultrasound tech flipped it to 3D/4D and gave us a look at her! Seriously, she is a BIG baby!!! And we just love it!

So now I'm anxious to see what Dr. Morales says about her size. I am totally hoping that if everything looks normal and she's healthy that because she will obviously be HUGE, that he will move my csection up to 37 weeks since that is full term!!! We shall see!

I will go back to Dr. Willis in 4 weeks! One perk to seeing him is seeing her on the super fancy ultrasound machine. :o)

28 weeks

2012-01-27T13:46:00.001-05:00

28 WEEKS

Pregnancy Highlights

How Far Along: 28 weeks

Size of baby: 14.8 inches, almost 2.25 lbs and the size of a chinese cabbage. (Read my next post on her more accurate measurements....WOW!)

Gender/Name: It's a GIRL!!!! Annalise Claire Phillips :)

Maternity Clothes: They're a necessity these days.

Belly Button: It is SO weird now b/c the bottom half is like level to my stomach but the top part is still an innie!

Movement: She kicks and move A LOT but around 9:30pm, it's like she is using my uterus as a bounce house! Also, she was head down on Tuesday but as of this morning, she's breech. Crazy.
Sleep: I've been sleeping SO good lately! While Keith was out of town last week, I implemented a strict schedule. Preslei and I both have been in the bed by the very latest of 8:15. It has been SO nice.
Symptoms: Well, I when I went to the doctor on Tuesday, Dr. Hall told me he wanted me to go back to Dr. Willis (the maternal/fetal medicine specialist) because my blood pressure is in the 140s/90s range and he just wants to make sure everything was ok. He said that because it has maintained itself in that range since I've been pregnant without medication and it hasn't increased, he isn't that concerned. Other than the high blood pressure and my waddling, I'm doing great. Of course, my sciatic nerve and hip are still bothering me but it's nothing I can't deal with.
What I miss: Nothing at all! I am so thankful and blessed to be pregnant again.

What I'm looking forward to: We are headed to Panama City Beach in February for the weekend as a last little mini-vacation as a family of 3!

Questions/Concerns: Curious to know if Dr. Morales will want to take Annalise earlier than 39 weeks since she is already a whopper! (I promise, I'll post another entry on the specifics)

Cravings: Nothing really stands out this week.

Best moment this week: Seeing our sweet chunky monkey on the super fancy ultrasound machine at Dr. Willis' office and the tech switching over to 4D for us!!! I seriously feel like the doctors and nurses were meant for ME. I know that's cheesy but seriously, I have never had a bad experience with any of them. Dr. Morales and Dana feel like family, especially Dana. I hope that she knows just how much she means to me and my family. After Annalise is born, I want to do something special for her but I don't want to do the whole cliche flowers. I'm kinda thinking about a gift certificate for a massage & facial or for a nice restaurant in Tallahassee for her and her husband. I want to do something for Dr. Morales as well but I don't want to be that weird patient, LOL. I had to see Dr. Hall (Dr. Morales' partner) on Tuesday and while I really like him as well, I just feel like he doesn't know me like Dr. M and Dana do. Dr. M knows how much I freak out about little stuff.

If you live in the area and are looking for a new OB/GYN, I HIGHLY recommend Dr. Morales. I've referred three people to him and they all love him!

27 weeks (OMG!!....12 weeks to go!)

2012-01-19T11:50:00.001-05:00

27 WEEKS

Pregnancy Highlights

How Far Along: 27 weeks

Size of baby: 14.5 inches, almost 2 lbs and the size of a head of cauliflower.

Gender/Name: It's a GIRL!!!! Annalise Claire Phillips :)

Maternity Clothes: They're a necessity these days.

Belly Button: I find it so strange but funny how it’s getting flat and almost to the point it will stick out before too long. It never did that during my last pregnancy.

Movement: She’s still a mover and a shaker! She kicked me so hard yesterday morning driving to work I was like, “Woah there miss priss!!” It literally made me jump!

Sleep: Still sleeping well with the exception of the pain of turning over and getting out of bed to pee.

Symptoms: Let’s see…..I’m waddling like I’m 50 weeks pregnant and I still have the pain/pressure and not only is it my groin muscle but my sciatic nerve and my hip is bothering me on the right side.

What I miss: Nothing at all! I am so thankful and blessed to be pregnant again.

What I'm looking forward to: I’m looking forward to my doctor’s appointment on Tuesday so I can address all my symptoms and find out what he thinks. I’m also going to talk over how I want Annalise to be kept in the recovery room with me instead of going to the nursery so that Preslei will be the first to see her and meet her. I want her to introduce her to my family and friends. I just really want Preslei to feel involved with this and not get left out. I’m also really excited that Emily, Robyn and I have briefly discussed having a “blog friends” lunch in Valdosta sometime next month. I just love these girls and it will be so much fun to get to meet them in person!!! Anyone else that I follow and keep up with that lives in Valdosta and is in their circle is more than welcome to come!

Questions/Concerns: I just want to find out what I can do to alleviate the symptoms I’m having with my pain/pressure.

Cravings: Sprite. I HATED Sprite before and now, I LOVE it!

Best moment this week: Getting my fabric samples for the crib bedding!! Oh my gosh, I could not be more in love with this fabric and cannot WAIT for them to make it and ship it to me!! I’m also excited that I actually created a registry.

Registry

2012-01-16T11:59:00.001-05:00

Okay all you 2nd (3rd, 4th, etc.) time Moms, I need your help!!! I started Annalise's registry after deciding I needed to do one. Originally, I wasn't going to make one or even have a shower because I thought I didn't need much. After I started going thru the little online categories and looking, I was like, "Dang, there is stuff I need!" Granted, it isn't much but it's still stuff. Annalise honestly doesn't need ANY clothes. I kept almost all of Preslei's clothes and I had someone give me a bag full of newborn-3 month size clothes and she said she had a lot more.

I wasn't planning on having a shower at all but my friend, Amanda, insisted. I told her we could do a "diapers and wipes" shower since those are the things I will need most. But you always have those few people that like to buy stuff on their own instead of diapers/wipes.

So, PLEASE take a look at my registry and let me know if there is anything you think I'm forgetting or you think the 2nd baby needs.

Annalise's Registry

26 weeks (and 4 days)

2012-01-16T09:27:00.001-05:00

26 WEEKS

Pregnancy Highlights

How Far Along: 26 weeks (and 4 days…I’m a little late on this posting)

Size of baby: 14 inches, 1.75 lbs and the size of an English hothouse cucumber.

Gender/Name: It's a GIRL!!!! Annalise Claire Phillips :)

Maternity Clothes: They're a necessity these days.

Belly Button: Still the same as the past few weeks.

Movement: This past Thursday, I swear, I felt like she was going to kick her way out of my stomach, like seriously. I’ve never felt so much movement before. Then, she started to get REALLY lazy over the weekend to the point it had me a little nervous. I mean, she was still kicking and moving but just not nearly as much. Then I thought, “Well, I haven’t had any caffeine since Friday at lunch so maybe that’s why.” This morning, she’s kicking and moving all around. I REALLY need to learn to relax about everything.

Sleep: Great. I LOVE this cold weather! The only thing that makes it bad is the pain I have from these stupid round ligament pains when I try to roll over from side to side.

Symptoms: I was having more of the pain/pressure again this week. But, if I can go 2-3 weeks and have good days and then a week of not-so good days, I’ll take it!

What I miss: Nothing at all! I am so thankful and blessed to be pregnant again. I know this answer never changes because when I look at the things I do miss, I compare it to “would I trade being pregnant for it” and my answer is always no! But I must say, I truly miss being able to go and do things like I could before without being in pain after about 10 minutes of walking. I so badly want to take Preslei on one last mini-vacation before we have Annalise but I know there is no way I could even do anything fun because of the fact I just can’t last like I used to. So, if anyone has any suggestions that doesn’t include a lot of walking, I’m all ears!!! Seriously.

What I'm looking forward to: Keith has gone to school for a week and this may sound mean or whatever, but I am SOOOO looking forward to the time apart. You see, when Keith and I started dating and up until 2 years ago (total of 8 years), Keith had a job where he worked out of town the majority of the week and if he wasn’t out of town, he wouldn’t get home until like 10pm. I really enjoyed the “down time” and felt as if the old saying rang true. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Keith and I have always been the type of couple that we do our own thing and meet in the middle and it works for us. I’ve never been the “dependant” type of person and I don’t want someone (other than my children) up my butt 24/7. I can’t STAND it. I’ve gotten so much criticism from people about it but you know what, what works for one may not work for the other. Since Keith has started his job now, he is home at 5:45 every night and we are never really apart (except for during hunting season). I’m glad he’s gone for the week because I’m ready to have that feeling again of truly missing him.

Questions/Concerns: None really this week.

Cravings: Sprite. I HATED Sprite before and now, I LOVE it!

Best moment this week: My grandma turning 91 on Friday!! Too bad it was Friday the 13th and she was admitted to the hospital on her birthday for chest pains. Keep her in your prayers for me. I think she should probably be coming home today. She’s not in pain anymore but they kept her so they could run some tests. Mam-Maw has what they call a “spastic heart” and my Mom said that is probably what it was on Friday. Apparently, Mam-Maw was “mean” to the doctor and nurses because she thought she could come home on Saturday. I can’t help but laugh at the thought of her being mean! She said she apologized to the doctor and nurses though. LOL. Bless her.

Oh and the fact I've finally decided on baby bedding!!! See, I've wanted "Polka Tot Designs" in Mobile, AL to make our 2nd baby's bedding for like forever ago and since my Mom has always contributed towards to the bedding, she just couldn't see spending that much money on bedding. So, I found another set that I liked and my aunt is an excellent seamstress and said she would make it for me. Mom and I went to Tallahassee last Monday to look at and buy fabric. Mom was sticker shocked at how much the fabric was ($15/yard not on sale) and I reminded her that "PTD" wasn't nearly as expensive once you looked at it in that perspective. So, she's agreed to pay for half of the bedding!!! I've ordered fabric samples of the material I want to use just to be 100% sure so those should be in sometime this week! Once I have my final approval that this is the fabric I want, I will place the order and then we will go to the paint store!! WOO HOO! Oh and Keith dropped off the dressers to the lady that is going to refinish them for me. It's finally starting to come all together!!!

Quick Prayer Request

2012-01-13T10:45:00.001-05:00

Please keep my husband's cousin, Ashley, and her husband Matt and their precious little boy, Joey, in your prayers. Joey was diagnosed with Spina Bifida early on in gestation and Ashley is in surgery RIGHT NOW having Joey via c-section. She is 37 weeks pregnant. I am SO SO excited for them and Joey is going to be one spoiled little boy!!! He is already SO loved!!!

THIS is their blog if you want to follow them and pray for them and send a little comment of encouragment!!

25 weeks

2012-01-05T13:40:00.002-05:00

25 WEEKS

Pregnancy Highlights

How Far Along: 25 weeks.

Size of baby: 13.5 inches, 1.5 lbs and the size of rutabaga.

Gender/Name: It's a GIRL!!!! Annalise Claire Phillips :)

Maternity Clothes: They're a necessity these days.

Belly Button: Still the same as the past few weeks.

Movement: Morning, noon and night and it never gets old. I was talking about this today with my friend and I was telling her how low Annalise is kicking. Like, way below my belly button. I don’t remember Preslei ever being that low. I just wonder if the bigger she gets, will she move on up.

Sleep: I swear, the cold weather makes me sleep SO good! Although, our normal bedtime is between 9-10pm but it’s been more like 11pm the past few days. I like going to sleep EARLY so I’m not liking these 11pm bedtimes!

Symptoms: This week has been SO MUCH BETTER! I haven’t really done anything different but I don’t have the pains that much. I have the pressure but not the pains so I’m very thankful for that! Oh and let me not forget that I have had a serious case of the pregnancy brain this week. I'm going to copy and paste from my Facebook my story of the week. (Stone's is like a Lowe's or Home Depot but locally owned in South GA)

Dumb moment at Stone's.....

Me: "I need a new storm door. Our handle broke last night."

Guy: "Well ma'am, what size do you need?"

Me: "Well crap, I didn't know doors came in sizes!

Guy: "They come in 32" and 36""

... Me: Hang on, lemme call my husband." (*ring ring* Keith, what size is our door? "I don't know, I'll measure when I get home.") (*ring ring* Daddy, what size is our door? "I don't know, tell Keith to measure it tonight") I hang up. I say to the guy, "Well, I really think it's the 32" because our door doesn't look that tall (pointing to the 36").

Guy: "Ma'am, you measure it by width, not height"

Me: "Oh dear Lord (shaking my head) yeah, I don't think that door is 32" tall...."

Is that not funny?!?! I was mortified but laughed my butt off. Another one was the same night, I went to my parents' house and my Dad said, "Hey, do me a favor and take those collards to your Grandma" No problem....I grab them up and head to Grandma Kines' house. I walked in and said, "Hey Grandma, Daddy wanted me to bring you these collards." She was like, "I don't eat no collards." So I was just like, "Well hmm...I dunno." So my Uncle Tom (he's mentally challenged and has been since he was a very young boy. He fell out of a window and had brain damage but let me tell you, he has a heart of gold and knows most church hymnals by heart even though he can't read or write) gets them and puts them in kitchen. So, I visit a while and then I leave and go back to my parents' house to spend time with them and I was telling Mom when I got there that Grandma didn't look good (she hasn't felt well and had to go to the ER Sunday night and then she fell at home on Monday) and Mom said, "Oh you stopped by Grandma's" and I said, "Well yes, I had to bring her the collards." Lol, Mama said, "Those were supposed to go to your Mam-Maw!" Needless to say, Mom and Dad were laughing at me again so I had to go back to Grandma's and tell her the story and then go to my Mam-Maw's and she laughed at me too. I'm just glad I can laugh at myself. But in my defense, Daddy said, "take these to your Grandma" not to "Mam-Maw"! ;o)

What I miss: Nothing at all! I am so thankful and blessed to be pregnant again.

What I'm looking forward to: My Mom is coming over on Saturday to help me organize our storage closet and pantry. After we clean out those closets, we will start on the nursery! Eeeekkkk…..I cannot wait! We have all the pieces now but someone is going to refinish them for me. My Mom made it clear she wasn’t thrilled of the idea of me redoing the pieces so I just said, “Okay! Keith……we are just going to pay someone to redo them instead.” I think he was relieved because he’d probably be the one doing it anyways!

Questions/Concerns: Just wondering if she will start gravitating higher the bigger she gets.

Cravings: Still Subway. Mmm…..although, apparently, they know me at Subway now based on my order. I’m the “pickles and mayo” girl. I thought that was hilarious.

Best moment this week: Meeting our new housekeeper! Seriously, I am so excited about her. She is SUPER sweet and I had a good feeling about her from the beginning! She starts next Thursday and will come every other week. Also, Preslei has been CRACKING me up lately. She asked me this past weekend who cleaned her room and I told her I did. She wanted to know who helped me (She knows I haven’t been able to do much, bless her heart) and I said, “No one, I did it myself. Mommy wasn’t hurting today.” She replied, “Aww Mommy, I’m so proud of you! Now you won’t fall down on my toys anymore.” HA! I tell her she has to pick up the house because leaving toys out could make someone fall. Then sometime earlier last week, we were talking about birthday parties and I asked her what kind of party did she want me to have. Her response, “A family party because that makes me SO happy”.

New Year’s Eve was a fun time for us too. Preslei had her first overnight guest that wasn’t family that night and those little girls had the BEST time. Keith’s best friend, Clint, and his wife wanted to have dinner in Tallahassee that night and needed a sitter. Since we weren’t doing anything, I said Laney could spend the night. Those sweet girls dressed up ALL night. They play so well together and I told Keith that we need to get them together more often.

Redemption

2011-12-30T10:43:00.001-05:00

Okay, so I feel as though I needed to "prove" I don't look a hot mess all the time like I did in the picture I posted of myself, my Mom, my Mam-Maw and Preslei in the blog post titled, "Christmas 2011 in pictures". I've always been like uber weird about appearances and I swear, when I saw how skank I looked in that picture, I was like, "Oh my gosh, Amanda....take some effort and do your dang hair every morning!!!"

So, see, I don't always look skankified......not saying I look like Miss Hottie either but you get what I'm saying.

(Yep, I totally did the "white girl Facebook picture" and took a self pic in my office)

24 weeks

2011-12-30T10:34:00.000-05:00

24 WEEKS

Pregnancy Highlights

How Far Along: 24 weeks.

Size of baby: 12 inches, just over a pound and the size of an ear of corn. (I am using a different picture reference from here on out.)

Gender/Name: It's a GIRL!!!! Annalise Claire Phillips :)

Maternity Clothes: They're a necessity these days.

Belly Button: Creeping on out there, lol. This is probably TMI but I think the inside of your belly button is so soft! Hahaha….gross, I know..but it is!

Movement: Morning, noon and night and it never gets old.

Sleep: This has been an awesome week for sleep! Like, to the point I can’t even hear the THREE (yes, three) alarm clocks going off in the mornings.

Symptoms: Let me just say, yep, I am about to start complaining and no, that doesn’t make me not grateful. Heck, if anything, I think women that have struggled to get pregnant have more of a “right” to complain!!! I say this because I read a post on Facebook a few weeks ago that basically said pregnant people and people with kids need to think twice about complaining because there are people out there that would love to be in our shoes. Correct, yes, but just because I complain doesn’t make me ungrateful. So anyways, I’m still having really bad aches and pains. If I take it really easy, I’m fine but I can’t sit down in a hard chair for long or walk around for long. This girl has been SUPER lazy lately but we had our little office Christmas party at my boss’ house on Tuesday night and we sat at the dinner table for a solid 2 hours and I couldn’t go to work the next day because the pain and pressure was unbearable. I slept the entire day on Wednesday. Since resting all day and laying down and not having any more added pressure down there, I’ve been a LOT better.

What I miss: Nothing at all! I am so thankful and blessed to be pregnant again.

What I'm looking forward to: Meeting our new housekeeper on Monday! I’m SO excited! I’ve had two since Keith and I married but they didn’t last. One decided to get a “real job” (her words, not mine, LOL) and the other wasn’t very dependable. Growing up, my Mom always had someone come twice a month and that’s what I want. Plus, I just physically can’t clean like I want and it is driving me bananas. I just don’t think it is fair for Keith to do EVERYTHING around the house since I can’t do it. He already cooks (his choice), cleans the outside, he’s been giving Preslei her baths for me since it’s easier for him and I just don’t want him to have to clean the house too.

Questions/Concerns: Still concerned about how much longer I’m going to be able to work full time. When I came to work on Wednesday and had to tell my boss I had to go home because I was hurting, I started to cry. I feel like I’m getting defeated and I don’t like that. I never give up, ever. But, I have to listen to my body and do what is in the best interest of me and Annalise. He was SO supportive and said he will work with me any way he can and if that means that I have to go to part time, that’s what we’ll do. Now, I don’t like part time hours because that means I don’t get paid my full 40 hr check but, like I told him, we will cross that bridge when I get there and I’ll only do it unless it’s a necessity. Thankfully, I have an amazing boss that understands and is like family.

Cravings: Still nothing really except I’m back to wanting to eat Subway at lunch. I am getting tired of nasty greasy food.

Best moment this week: Definitely Christmas. Spending time with the ones you love is amazing. I love that Preslei knows the real reason we celebrate Christmas and to hear her tell people the story of the three wise men and how they followed the star to find baby Jesus melts my heart. Oh here’s a funny Preslei story for y’all……last night I was walking down the hallway and I noticed a big blue line going down vertically on my wall. I looked at Preslei and said, “Preslei, what in the world were you thinking?! You know you aren’t allowed to act like that.” She replied, “But Mommy, I was just seeing how tall I am. Annalise is the pink line and I’m the blue line.” I looked again and there is a small pink line. I couldn’t help but laugh and say “awww” at the same time. I mean, seriously, how can you get on to them for that?!?! Looks like we’ll be doing some touch up paint work in the near future. Bless her.

Christmas 2011 in pictures

2011-12-28T09:04:00.001-05:00

Disclaimer: I'm a HORRIBLE picture taker. I seriously need to get better at this. It wasn't until last night that I realized I didn't get a single picture of me, Keith and Preslei together on Christmas. We rarely get family pictures and I really really need to start remembering to take more pictures together! Hopefully now that Keith got me a new camera for Christmas, I'll use it!

Just a little bit of the Christmas destruction at our house!

Preslei said her favorite present this year was her gun! Score one for Daddy!

As much as I was SO nervous about my 3 year old having a BB gun, this picture makes it all worth it.

Testing out her new sleeping bag Aunt Bonnie got her. Preslei told us we have to camping now....umm, Momma doesn't do the camping thing sweetie! ;o)

My Dad, "Pop-Pop", got both Preslei and my nephew, Caden, these little cowboy sets for them to wear when they ride their little horse toy down in Pop-Pop's barn. I thought it was SO cute because my Dad bought them all by himself.

This picture CRACKS me up!

Mam-Maw with her two great grands. (My Mam-Maw will be 91 on January 13th and I'm SO lucky to still have her in my life. My Mam-Maw is my HEART!)

This one is getting framed. <3

I love this picture of the four generations minus one thing...me! Oh my gosh, I look like CRAPOLA. Since seeing this picture, I have been making a big effort to straighten my hair instead of letting it go curly. You see, before I got pregnant, I got a perm (yeah, I know, I'm laughing too....) because my sister in law got one and it was actually really cute on her. I wanted to let my hair grow out long but was too lazy to straighten it every morning so I thought "hey, a perm is a great solution!" Wrong. I hated it. By the time I let a few weeks pass (everyone told me to give it time to relax.....) I got pregnant and couldn't get the brazilian blowout done to basically reverse the perm. So, I've already warned my friend and hairdresser, as soon as I am able after having Annalise, I'm getting that dang brazilian blowout!!! And I need to get some highlights or something in my hair. Ugh. But, I just love the fact we are all four in the picture!

I absolutely LOVE my child (and my nephew too!) Can't you just tell she has such a sweet disposition about her just from photos?? I am one proud Momma!

Mam-Maw is just silly! LOL

When they weren't fighting over Caden's toys (bless his heart, he's not the best at sharing) they were having a ball pulling this tool set across the living room floor! Hey, at least there was no screaming or fighting over this toy! ;o)

This is just funny to me.

Poor baby was EXHAUSTED on Christmas Day!

My Mom, "Nonna", got her this doll with matching PJs and I thought they looked adorable!

The were even tired the next morning after Keith got out of the deer stand! Bless them.

23 weeks

2011-12-22T15:47:00.001-05:00

23 WEEKS

Pregnancy Highlights

How Far Along: 23 weeks.

Size of baby: 10.5-11.8 inches, 12.7-20.8 ounces and the size of a mango. (This is the same as last week...I guess it will be like this for a few weeks)

Gender/Name: It's a GIRL!!!! Annalise Claire Phillips :)

Maternity Clothes: They're a necessity these days.

Belly Button: Creeping on out there, lol.

Movement: Morning, noon and night and it never gets old.

Sleep: It is SO funny (not funny "haha" but funny "weird") how one week can be horrible and then the next I can sleep like a baby. I don't know if I'm just tired and exhausted from all the holiday madness but I literally crash around 9pm and only wake up to pee (which is usually once or twice these days).

Symptoms: Yep, I am still feeling like I'm waddling and thanks to my oh-so wonderful husband, he pointed it out for me last night. Good one there Keith..... ;o) The horrible pains are making their grand appearance again these past few days. I talked to Dr. Morales about it and he got so tickled at me for describing the location of the pain as "down there, down there". HA!

What I miss: Nothing at all! I am so thankful and blessed to be pregnant again.

What I'm looking forward to: Christmas!!!!!

Questions/Concerns: This is a new one this week. I knew there was something I was leaving out! I'm really starting to get worried that I will have to go on bedrest. Like really worried. I'm a pretty tough cookie when it comes to sucking it up and being a "big girl" but I could seriously cry like a baby when these aches and pains "down there" start. She is low and I know that's one reason they are as bad as they are and now my sciatic nerve is hurting. My feet are swelling and they hurt and I'm only TWENTY THREE weeks pregnant!!! How in the world am I going to last another 16 weeks?!?! and I get NO maternity leave benefits at work and I definitely don't have short term disability insurance. I looked into getting some Aflac a few years ago (not too long after Preslei was born to be prepared for our 2nd baby) but they said you had to have 5 employees to get short term disability and there is only me and Donna and of course, our boss. :( So, I'm a little freaked that we'll be eating Ramen noodles if I get put on bedrest.

Cravings: Not much of anything this week. For some reason, I've felt SO bloated. Heck, we didn't even cook dinner the other night because Preslei fell asleep at 6:30 and never woke up and Keith and I decided if we got hungry, we could fend for ourselves.

Best moment this week: It would have to be my doctor's appointment. Keith and Preslei both went with me and I know I say this ALL the time but I seriously have the best doctor and nurse. Preslei wanted to see her picture again on the wall and Dana said, "Did you find all 3?" and we found them. Dana said, "Yeah, you can tell who one of my favorites is". Dr. Morales came in and asked me if I had any questions. So I asked about when we could schedule the c-section since my friend, Brandi, (B4 Photography) is flying in from Dallas, TX to do our newborn pictures. We have a tentative date of April 12, 2012! He said the hospital won't schedule it on their end until 6 weeks prior but he has it marked on his calendar. I also asked which anethesiologist would allow an extra person in the room (I desperately want my Mom in there) and he said a name but that he'd check to make sure. I have to call that office to specifically request that doctor and they will try to accomodate me. :) Then, Keith said he was glad it wasn't the end of April because he will be in a skeet tournament and dang if him and Dr. Morales didn't talk about skeet and hunting the entire appointment, LOL. It was hilarious to me. I almost wanted to invite Dr. Morales to one of the many bird shoots/hunts Keith hosts during the year but I didn't, LOL.

And then there was cake.....

2011-12-15T12:33:00.000-05:00

You know, I literally just wrote this morning how I want some cake....some red velvet and a 14 layer chocolate cake. Well, this may not be a 14 layer but it is an 8 layer and I'm totally happy with that.

I think my boss must have been either reading my mind the past few weeks or knows the cravings of a preggo because he bought TWO cakes at the church's youth fundraiser (the other was Italian Creme and I just don't do coconut) and I wanted to scream like a little school girl when he said they are for me and my coworker!!!! Mad props go out to him.

Off to enjoy my piece of cake!!!

22 weeks

2011-12-15T09:57:00.002-05:00

22 WEEKS

Pregnancy Highlights

How Far Along: 22 weeks.

Size of baby: 10.5-11.8 inches, 12.7-20.8 ounces and the size of a mango.

Gender/Name: It's a GIRL!!!! Annalise Claire Phillips :)

Maternity Clothes: It's a necessity these days.

Belly Button: Creeping on out there, lol.

Movement: Morning, noon and night and it never gets old.

Sleep: Well hello insomnia.......I have woke up twice so far at 3:30am and not been able to go back to sleep. I need SLEEP!

Symptoms: I feel like I'm waddling already!!!! Seriously, I'm kinda upset about that, lol. I'm only 22 weeks and I waddle....ugh.

What I miss: Nothing at all! I am so thankful and blessed to be pregnant again.

What I'm looking forward to: Christmas!!!!!

Cravings: Sweets.....oh my land, give me cake and give it to me now. You know what's sad is I haven't even eaten a piece and I'm DYING to! I want some really good red velvet cake with cream cheese icing and nuts on top and a 14 layer chocolate cake.....Mmmmm.......

Best moment this week: My Mom being able to feel Annalise!!!! Poor Keith, I think Annalise is going to be like her big sister was. Every time Keith puts his hand on my stomach, she stops kicking and moving. :(

21 weeks (I'm a week late on this one)

2011-12-15T09:08:00.001-05:00

21 WEEKS

Pregnancy Highlights

**Preface: I am posting this exactly one week late. Last week, Preslei and I both had the stomach virus and I was out of work for 3 days so I am just now having a chance to update my blog. I'm also going to post week 22 after this one so I'll be current.**

How Far Along: 21 weeks.

Size of baby: 10.5 inches, 12.7 ounces and the size of a banana.

Gender/Name: It's a GIRL!!!! Annalise Claire Phillips :)

Maternity Clothes: They have been a blessing to me here lately. Man, this belly is already poking out there!! My coworker, Donna, always says, "You are getting to be just baby now!". I think it's hilarious. At least I look pregnant now instead of just fat(ter). I think (THINK) I may post a picture next week but man, I hate full length pictures. I just think I need to document my belly at half way and then full term.

Belly Button: Creeping on out there, lol.

Movement: She has been moving SO much lately. My friend Sara and I went to Atlanta on Saturday (Dec. 3) and Sara is 3 weeks ahead of me and she was talking about Cohen moving around all day and I was like, dang, I wish Annalise would move all day and I swear, her and Cohen had some in utero conversations because that night at 10:58 (Yeah Sara, b/c you said it that night, I now remember the exact time HA!) I felt Annalise move on the outside for the first time and her movements tooks off after that. So, thanks Baby Cohen!!! LOL

Sleep: Not too bad that week.

Symptoms: OH. MY. GOSH. I seriously overdid it in Atlanta because my round ligament pains were absolutely KILLING me. Curse my body for making those stupid pains be "down there" instead of where they should normally be!!! Any time I walk for an extended period, it kills me. Well, imagine driving for 3 1/2 hours to Atlanta(we left at 7:30), checking into the hotel (11am), laying down for a quick minute, and then not getting back to the hotel until 10:30pm. HOLY MOTHER.....I wanted to cry. I was hurting so bad on Sunday that I couldn't even go to work on Monday b/c I got up in the middle of the night Sunday to pee and almost fell b/c the pain hurt so bad when I walked to the bathroom. I called my doctor and they told me to rest, take tylenol and if needed, use heat. (Sorry, but I'm NOT putting a heating pad between my legs, LOL).

What I miss: Nothing at all! I am so thankful and blessed to be pregnant again.

What I'm looking forward to: Christmas!!!!!

Cravings: Still Mexican. I could eat Mexican every day.

Best moment this week: Even though it killed me physically, I had the BEST time in Atlanta. I really feel like I made the most of my time there because not only did me and Sara hang out with Stephanie and had a blast being the 3 preggos shopping but we were also able to have dinner with my best friend, Brian. And OMG, that was the BEST food I've eaten in a LONG LONG time. If you are ever near Atlanta, you have to go to Social Vinings in Vinings. Maybe I was just starving but that was the best shrimp & scallops ever. It was served on a bed of sweet corn risotto with brocolli and lemon butter sauce (I could have done without the capers) and it was heavenly. Brian and Sara had me CRACKING up the entire night. I was seriously crying from laughing so hard. Brian has always loved impersonating and imitating funny youtube people and skits and low and behold, so does Sara. They were doing Anjelah Johnson's "Nail Salon" skit and holy crap, it was just funny. You can watch it here. Anyways, it was just so much fun and exactly what I needed!!!

20 weeks

2011-12-02T14:06:00.000-05:00

20 WEEKS

Pregnancy Highlights

How Far Along: 20 weeks! I cannot believe it (in the voice of that little dude on Little Einstein’s HA!) I am definitely feeling like I’m 20 weeks, well I actually feel more like I’m 30-something weeks.

Size of baby: 6.5 inches, 10.6 ounces and the size of a cantelope.

Gender/Name: It's a GIRL!!!! Annalise Claire Phillips :)

Maternity Clothes: Things are getting much tighter so I ordered some more maternity clothes earlier this week. I cannot wait for them to be delivered.

Belly Button: Still an innie but I don't think it will be an innie the whole pregnancy like it was last time.

Movement: Earlier this week, I was saying how it was on and off but it is getting more constant today. She’s been quite active today. That feeling never gets old!

Sleep: I’ve had some really good sleep the past few nights. As soon as I lay my head down, I’m out. I normally only wake up once a night and I think it’s because I’ve really tried to watch how much I drink a few hours before bedtime.

Symptoms: Crying, getting irritated at inconsiderate people (last night at the Christmas parade….I REALLY wish 1. People wouldn’t crowd my little personal space and 2. Smoking be banned or made illegal in public places).

What I miss: Nothing at all! I am so thankful and blessed to be pregnant again.

What I'm looking forward to: Going to Atlanta tomorrow night! I scored at room at the Intercontinental in Buckhead for $100. I love priceline.com! As much as I absolutely HATE leaving Preslei, it makes it ALL worth it when she comes running in my arms when I come back home. I’m also excited about Keith being able to spend some one on one quality time with her.

Cravings: Mexican. I have had a terrible morning and my emotions were getting the best of me (let’s see….my insurance company decided to DOUBLE my insurance premium for the month without sending me a notice so I had to call them and find out why (still doesn’t make sense to me but something about me adding my van to my policy during renewal time and them not collecting the right amount last month or some crap). Still ticks me off, if I owe more money, fine but send me a friggin’ notice so I am not shocked when I see I don’t have as much money in my checking account; then someone decides that my Facebook business is other people’s business (I’m going to be cleaning up the friends list soon or changing my privacy settings)) so when Donna (my coworker) wanted to go to Los Reyes for lunch, I was GAME!!! I was tired of crying all morning over stupid crap and some not so stupid crap that I wanted to scarf down some cheese dip and a chimichanga!

Best moment this week: 1. Going to the Christmas parade last night and seeing my sweet girl wave at everyone that passed on a float and get SOOOO excited to see Santa! Seeing her happy is the best feeling a Mom can have. 2. Keith killed his first deer of the season Wednesday night…yay for more meat in the freezer! 3. Finding all the pieces of furniture for Annalise’s nursery on Craigslist. I’ve decided on the “antique” look and theme so I wanted some antique pieces and I found matching dressers and a wrought iron crib!

Kelly's Korner Monogram Swap

2011-12-02T13:37:00.000-05:00

When we had Preslei, I didn't get a lot monogrammed but now, I am LOVING the idea of having everything monogrammed for Annalise. So, if anyone that is viewing has anything with "Annalise" or the letter "A" or initials "aPc", please email me at amandakines@hotmail.com.

Thanks!!! :)

19 (and a half) weeks

2011-11-29T16:32:00.000-05:00

19 WEEKS

Pregnancy Highlights

How Far Along: Thanks to all the hustle and bustle, I've just now had a moment to update so I'm 19 and 3/4 weeks. I'll be 20 weeks on Thursday!!!

Size of baby: 6 inches, 8 ounces and the size of a mango.

Gender/Name: It's a GIRL!!!! Annalise Claire Phillips :)

Maternity Clothes: Things are getting much tighter so I ordered some more maternity clothes this morning.

Belly Button: Still an innie but I don't think it will be an innie the whole pregnancy like it was last time.

Movement: On and off during the day. I'm SOOOOO ready to feel her roll around and be able to see it!

Sleep: It's getting a little better but I had another scary dream Sunday night. I dreamed I was being chased by some gangbanger girls and they were trying to shoot me because I wouldn't give their friend some money. I woke up and my heart was RACING!!!!

Symptoms: Feeling MEGA bloated but hey, I am halfway to having this little girl!!! Yay for scheduled c-sections at 39 weeks! :)

What I miss: Nothing at all! I am so thankful and blessed to be pregnant again.

What I'm looking forward to: Going to Atlanta on Sunday with my fellow preggo friend, Sara!!! We are meeting our other preggo friend that lives there and going shopping!! Man, I love Atlanta! ANNNDDDD....we are going to stalk some celebs while we are there. LOL. Good times will be had by all! :)

Cravings: I just made the statement to my other Mama a/k/a my coworker that I wanted something sweet. LOL, she replied, "Well, I have some gum in my desk." Umm yeah, no wonder you are miss tiny thing! ;)

Best moment this week: Watching my big girl get SUPER excited about putting up our Christmas decorations. She was most excited about finding Baby Jesus and getting him out. She also found some of that weird shaped styrofoam you pack things in and said, "Momma, this is where Baby Jesus is stored." She remembered that from LAST Christmas! I was impressed. She was SO happy when I got out the nativity scene.

18 weeks

2011-11-23T11:50:00.000-05:00

18 WEEKS

Pregnancy Highlights

How Far Along: 18 weeks :) I still can't come to the realization that I'm almost half way thru my pregnancy. It just seems surreal!

Size of baby: 5.6 inches, 6.7 ounces and the size of a sweet potato.

Gender/Name: It's a GIRL!!!! Annalise Claire Phillips :)

Maternity Clothes: I can still wear a few non-maternity pants and shirts. I am now big enough that my maternity jeans don't fall off my belly and since today was a "casual" day at work (I got the text from Kevin, my boss, at 6:15 this morning...Score!) I wore them. Man oh man, I was like "WELL HELLO BABY BELLY!!!!"

Belly Button: Still an innie but I don't think it will be an innie the whole pregnancy like it was last time.

Movement: Seriously, I think this little girl just likes to show off. I had my regular check up with my OB yesterday and it wasn't until on the way back home from Tallahassee she decided to either kick me or punch me. I was like, woah there Annalise! It was awesome though. She moved almost all day yesterday and kicked/punched me quite often and today, well, she's decided to be more shy. Maybe once she gets some yummy lunch, she'll play with me :)

Sleep: Welcome to the crazy dreams phase. I've had three pretty scary dreams since I've been pregnant. One of them was someone was dying and I watched that person take her last breath, another was I woke up spotting/bleeding and got totally freaked and the last one was I had taken Preslei to a birthday party at the skating rink and I was trying to talk to people and I couldn't because I couldn't catch my breath. It felt like I was having an asthma attack (even though I have no idea what that feels like) and when I woke up, I gasped for air and I was SO HOT. What makes it crazy is all those dreams happened about 2-3 weeks ago but I've been dealing with some major sinus issues this week and yesterday, I felt like I couldn't breath b/c I was so stopped up and it made me flashback to that dream. Ugh. I hate scary/weird dreams!

Symptoms: Last week, I explained a little about my crankiness and said I was going to talk to the doctor. He laughed and said, "well, just take a deep breath and count to ten and bang on the wall" LOL. As you can tell by last posts, I've still been "ill" but I really really need to stop complaining so much because there are SOOOOOO many things I have in my life that outweigh all the other crap.

Another thing that has been "bothering" me is the fact that my feet are still swelling but it's only during the week when I'm at work. Dr. Hall (the doctor I saw yesterday and Dr. Morales' partner) said to just wear compression socks and I shouldn't be alarmed because my blood pressure looks good (128/89) and my lab work came back perfect. I'm also having those dreaded round ligament pains but I always seem to get them REALLY low and I can't walk very far and long without it just killing me. I'm going to keep my Tylenol handy when I go up to Atlanta next weekend.

What I miss: Nothing at all! I am so thankful and blessed to be pregnant again.

What I'm looking forward to: Getting my belly full of Thanksgiving food!!!!

Cravings: Zaxby's White Cheddar bites......OH. EM. GEE.

Best moment this week: Feeling Annalise's kicks, Preslei playing "doctor" on me and using random objects as "wands" to see the baby in my tummy, finding the perfect bedding and seamstress to make Annalise's bedding, Preslei kissing my stomach and telling Annalise she loves her and then Keith getting all sad when I told him Annalise was moving and I hadn't called him over so he could feel her. It was SO cute he got all bummed but I explained to him it would be a while before he could feel her on the outside. Bless him.

and this is why I need to learn to stop complaining....

2011-11-21T16:11:00.000-05:00

My husband's cousin, Ashley, is pregnant with her first child. She and her husband are overjoyed they are going to be parents to a precious baby boy named Joey. Joey is more special than they could have imagined and this is their story.

If you're grumpy & you know it, raise your hand!

2011-11-21T15:37:00.000-05:00

I've said it many times on my blog how I'm so daggum moody lately. I try really hard to hold in my frustrations and to focus on positive things but it doesn't happen very well. A lot of people just get on my nerves, especially people on Facebook. Isn't that horrible?? It's like I read some stupid status and I almost need stitches in my tongue from biting it so hard from not saying what I'm thinking.

So, what's the cause for my grumpy attitude today?? The fact I feel like I get punished because I have to work. I want to enroll Preslei in gymnastics because there is one unnamed dance place that I refuse to send Preslei to and that only leaves one other in town and Preslei needs an activity where she can fully exert her energy instead of somewhere very structured and "prim & proper". I'd love to send her there for dance when she gets older but my kid just likes rough and tough stuff and she loves jumping, doing foward rolls, etc. So, I call the only gymnastics place here in town and what time does the class start?? Ummmm 3:15. WTH...are there really that many kids in town that their parents have the luxury of either being able to take off work and take their kids there or that don't work?? Kudos to the parents that are fortunate enough to be able to stay home with their kids, seriously. Well, let me rephrase that....kudos to the ones that can do that and my tax money doesn't pay for your food, housing or insurance because of the fact you don't work. I could REALLY get on my soapbox about that but I will refrain.

So, where's the next closest place to take Preslei to gymnastics to? The YMCA in Thomasville. A good 35-40 minute drive from my house. Yet, because I am not able to send her to either gymnastics place, it kinda makes me feel like I'm shitty parent because I can't and other people can. Somehow in some stupid way, it makes me feel like Preslei is getting left out. I am just so sick of being reminded ALL THE FREAKING time by instances such as these that I am not able to be a SAHM. Keith and I both work our asses off to be able to provide for our family but we don't make enough to be able for me to quit my job. It seriously makes me feel poor or something. Seriously. We live in a "quaint" little 3 bedroom/1 bath house, we don't drive new cars, we don't go and come all the time, we don't have major credit card debt or a lot of debt in general but yet we both have to work. There is just absolutely no way we could live off one income, especially when we pay $600 a month just for health insurance. No way. So not only am I missing out on being able to watch my babies grow up 24/7 but now, I can't even take Preslei to a stinkin' gymnastics class.

Oohhh, and let's top that off with the fact I was informed today that unnamed person #1 that hasn't even tried to contact me or my family in oh ummm......almost SIX months and then decides that after seeing unnamed person #2 at a convenient store on Friday that they want to come and talk with us at home. Here's my question....what if unnamed person #1 didn't run into unnamed person #2 at the store...would they still want to stop by and "talk"? That'd be a big hell no. Did unnamed person #1 call/text/email to say congrats that we were pregnant? No. Did unnamed person #1 call/text/email to give their condolences when we thought we lost the baby? No. Did unnamed person #1 call/text/email to say Thank you Lord when we found out we didn't lose the baby? No. Did unnamed person #1 call/text/email to remind unnamed person #2 of someone's birthday 4 months later? That my friends, gets the answer of yes. Oohhh, and does unnamed person #1 forward me STUPID emails randomly? Again, the answer is yes.

And there you have it folks......the grumpy Amanda for Monday afternoon. :)

17 weeks.....already?!?!

2011-11-14T13:02:00.000-05:00

17 WEEKS

Pregnancy Highlights

How Far Along: 17 weeks. Okay, seriously, is it just me or does it seem like my pregnancy is FLYING by?!?! I think it feels that way because I focus all my "free" time on Preslei so I don't really have time to "dwell" on the fact I'm actually pregnant and that the holidays are fast approaching so my mind is thinking "Ho Ho Ho" and thinking about all that yummy food my fat pregnant butt is gonna shovel in my face!!! (You think I'm kidding.....oh my gosh....I CANNOT wait!!!! *nom nom nom*)

Size of baby: 5.1 inches, 5.9 ounces and the size of an onion.

Gender/Name: It's a GIRL!!!! Annalise Claire Phillips :)

Maternity Clothes: Most everything is maternity with the execption of a few shirts and pants.

Belly Button: Still an innie but I don't think it will be an innie the whole pregnancy like it was last time.

Movement: I can feel her on and off again but nothing routine. Sometimes it feels like she's having a party in my uterus. I just seriously can't get over how you can feel the baby so much sooner your 2nd pregnancy than you could your first. It's crazy to me!

Sleep: Ehhhh.....I have some good nights and some bad nights. Lazy me, I'll wake up in the middle of the night having to go pee and I'll convince myself I can hold it until next time I wake up. Isn't that pathetic?? LOL...I'm seriously so lazy. It's usually the nights where I'm sleeping SOOOOOO good that I can't force myself to get up!

Symptoms: None really except just being a cranky you know what! Y'all, I'm seriously not kidding. I've always been a tad bit moody (ha! I was trying to think of a nice way to put it) I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm nice the majority of time unless I just don't like someone but people definitely know not to ever push my buttons but here lately, I feel possessed at times!!! The slightest thing just sets me off and I feel like I turn into a big ole' green monster!! This is something I'm going to address at my doctor's appointment next week. Thank you JESUS I can control myself or else I'd have so many hate me!! I really do hate this because I was SOOOOOO pleasant my last pregnancy and nothing made me mad.

What I miss: Nothing at all! I am so thankful and blessed to be pregnant again.

What I'm looking forward to: A lot!!! The holidays, the food, getting our Christmas decorations out of storage and putting them up, my little excursion to Atlanta to hang out with my friend Stephanie and scower Atlanta for an antique dresser and fabric for Annalise's room and then I'm SUPER stoked about taking Preslei to see Fantasy in Lights in Pine Mountain again this year!!!

Cravings: Nothing in particular this week. But I'm telling you, I am drooling at the mere thought of all that Thanksgiving goodness!

Best moment this week: Coordinating a time to go baby shopping in Atlanta!!! I'm STOKED! I'm going up December 3rd! :)

Couple of pictures of Annalise

2011-11-11T11:54:00.000-05:00

I forgot to share a few of the pictures I got from our gender reveal ultrasound. We decided to go ahead and spend the extra for the 3d/4d because I thought it'd be cool to see what she looked like at 15 weeks! Her little hand is my FAVORITE picture!!!!

16 weeks

2011-11-07T15:32:00.000-05:00

16 WEEKS

Pregnancy Highlights

How Far Along: 16 weeks

Size of baby: 4 1/2 inches, 3 1/2 ounces and the size of an avocado.

Gender/Name: It's a GIRL!!!! Annalise Claire Phillips :)

Maternity Clothes: Most everything is maternity with the execption of a few shirts and pants.

Belly Button: Still an innie but I don't think it will be an innie the whole pregnancy like it was last time.

Movement: I can feel her on and off again but nothing routine and nothing MAJOR.

Sleep: Thank you LORD for being home in our comfy bed instead of the most uncomfortable bed EVER while on vacation. I'm not a fan of super soft beds and this bed made you sink to the bottom. It was just awful.

Symptoms: None really except just being a cranky you know what!

What I miss: Nothing at all! I am so thankful and blessed to be pregnant again.

What I'm looking forward to: I can't wait to start organizing Annalise's room!!! I just really hope it turns out the way I have it pictured in my head!

Cravings: Apparently, I sound like I'm making love to my Subway sandwiches. Keith got me my fav sandwich from there while in the mountains on our little excursion to Chattanooga and he was like, "Good Lord Amanda, HUSH...it's just a sandwich!" I told him he just had NO idea the feeling of fulfillment while enjoying a pregnancy craving! LOL

Best moment this week: Finding out our little bambino is a GIRL!!! I'm still just over the moon excited!! She acted JUST like Preslei and was being all modest because it took Sabrina @ The Prenatal Experience (who I can't say enough good things about) 42 minutes to be 100% on the gender!!! Sabrina said she was not letting me go on vacation not knowing what I was having!!!!

We are having a..............

2011-11-03T08:31:00.000-04:00

ANOTHER PRINCESS!!!

We are BEYOND thrilled and so blessed! Her name will be Annalise Claire Phillips and her name has a very special meaning. I have a very sweet friend that lives in Fort Worth, Texas whose name is Jenny. She is a friend of 2 of my other friends in Dallas and I found Jenny's blog one day and it touched me in a way I can't describe. She has a daughter, Annelise Hope, that was born sleeping and the strength this girl embodies just astonishes me. After Annelise, she got pregnant with Bella (who is 6 months older than Preslei) and Pierce, aka Master P, and he turned 2 in June. Jenny and I have never met but have developed a friendship that I wouldn't trade. I have always loved her Annelise's name and we found out we were pregnant, I needed some names. I never wanted to just come out and ask Jenny if we could use Annelise's name but I had thought of the name Elise and asked if that was too close to Annelise. I also told her how much I love Annelise's name but wasn't sure how she would feel about us using it. She told me she would absolutely love to watch a little girl grow up with her baby's name and she would feel honored. To say I didn't cry is a lie. It was at the moment, I knew I wanted to honor Jenny and Annelise's life by naming our daughter "Annalise".

Here is Annelise's story if you want to read it.

Jenny, there aren't enough words to tell you how grateful and thankful I am that you are letting us use your baby's name. You are a very special person and friend to me and I hope Annelise is smiling down from Heaven knowing how much it means to me.

15 weeks....this is FLYING by!

2011-10-31T09:11:00.000-04:00

15 WEEKS

Pregnancy Highlights

How Far Along: 15 weeks......seriously, I feel like I'll be full time in NO time!!!
Size of baby: 4 inches, 2 1/2 ounces and the size of a orange.

Gender: I was keeping the date of our gender determination appointment a secret because I wanted to plan a little surprise gender reveal party when we got to the mountain house on Wednesday but I decided since this is probably going to be the last grandbaby for my parents, my Mom and Dad need to be at the appointment. My Mom LOVES going with me to my doctor's appointment so she can see the little baby so I thought this is such a special appointment that they are coming. So.......our appointment is at the Prenatal Experience tomorrow night at 7pm!!! EEEEKKKK....I'm so excited. I just hope this bambino cooperates.

Name. For those that noticed, this is a new one this week. Not sure why, but I forgot to add this one in. We do have a name for either a boy or a girl but I will reveal it once we know the gender.

Maternity Clothes: I went shopping Saturday. Ugh.....I hate maternity clothes. I found quite a few shirts but NO actual maternity pants. I did find some UBER comfy pull on "lounge pants" (I have no idea what you call them....) so I grabbed the black and grey pair. It's those type of pants you wear with tennis shoes and a cute tshirt.
Belly Button: Still an innie but I don't think it will be an innie the whole pregnancy like it was last time.

Movement: There's no more second guessing now. I was at my Mom & Dad's Friday night and oh man, little bambino was moving all around. It was so cute. It's funny how I made a huge deal of everything during my last pregnancy and now I'm like, "oh, bambino is moving". LOL
Sleep: It's getting a little better. Although, I woke up several times last night because I was on my stomach and my boobs were KILLING ME!!!!
Symptoms: I haven't been swelling nearly as much as I have been. Woo hoo!!! But holy mother of guacamole, my boobs have been on FIRE. I mean, to the point of my hand or something random just barely grazing them and it almost puts me in tears. Lovely, right???
What I miss: Nothing at all! I am so thankful and blessed to be pregnant again.

What I'm looking forward to: Finding out the gender tomorrow night and leaving Wednesday morning for the mountains!!!
Cravings: OH. MY. GOSH. Seriously, I could have whipped my coworker's behind the other day. We started talking about food and she talked about Cinnabons, Golden Corral's yeast rolls with honey butter and I think I started drooling. I'm still wanting a dang yeast roll! LOL
Best moment this week: Having Preslei go with me to my doctor's appointment. I was SO proud of her for being on her best behavior. Dana, Dr. Morales' nurse, couldn't get over how big she is and of course, her curls. Then Hope, the office manager, came back and said she just had to see Preslei because she remembers the baby pictures Dana put up around the office with her "big bows". Apparently, Dana refuses to take them down or cover them up with someone else's baby's picture. Preslei has 3 pictures in their office. LOL....wonder who the favorite little office kid is??? ;o) I told my Mom that it means SO much to me that I always feel special when I go in there and how they haven't forgotten me. I mean, this is a very busy Tallahassee ob/gyn and they remember everything about me and especially when Hope, who I haven't really gotten to know, remembers Preslei and stops what she's doing to come see her. I can't say enough how much I absolutely love my doctor and nurse.

If....

2011-10-26T17:03:00.000-04:00

This is going around the blog world :)

Fill in the blanks....

If I were to get pregnant again...I am pregnant again!

If I could have any job in the world...I would be a stay at home Mom.

If I had a day to myself... I would want to take Preslei and do anything she wanted. Seeing her happy makes me happy!

If I could get married all over again...I would LOVE to redo our wedding. We had a beautiful wedding but my taste has changed so it'd be fun to redecorate and have a new dress!

If I could live anywhere in the US... Somewhere where it doesn't get so hot!!!

If my girl would have been boy they would have been named... Cohen. We have different names picked now :)

If I could have any talent in the world...just to be crafty!

If you met me in real life... You would say, "you talk exactly like you type things on your blog". I've been told that I type exactly how I talk.

If I could go back to school and get a different degree... Well, I'd actually get a degree this time around instead of being a college dropout. Biggest regret in life......but, I'd actually be the attorney instead of the paralegal :)

If money was no object... I would have 10 kids, a huge house, travel A LOT and help friends and family.

If I could meet one celebrity, it would be... Kyle Richards from the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I love her!

If I could shop at only one store the rest of my life...hmmm....Target?? LOL

If we were to get another pet it would be... NO more pets at our house!!! 3 dogs and a cat are ENOUGH! (Anyone want a dog?? LOL)

If I could go on a trip right now... Well, we are going to the mountains ONE week from today!

If I had to choose between a house cleaner and a personal chef... Keith is the chef in our house so I'd say a house cleaner!

If I had the option of plastic surgery.. YES!!!!!

It's one of those days

2011-10-25T13:23:00.000-04:00

While I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE being pregnant, I don't love the fact that I have been getting SOOOOOO easily irritated with people. I want my niceness back. It's like the littlest thing just sets me off. I've always (for the most part, unless I don't like you) been really nice, easy going and laid back but holy crap, if I said what I was thinking, I'd be in trouble. Too bad you can't take mood pills when you are pregnant, HA!

14 weeks

2011-10-24T09:39:00.000-04:00

14 WEEKS

Pregnancy Highlights

How Far Along: 14 weeks (Now I'm offically in my second trimester)

Size of baby: 3 1/2 inches and the size of a lemon.

Gender:   We have a date to find out if we are having a boy or girl but we aren't revealing the date. ;o) It is soon though...YAY! I'm just ready to start calling the baby by his/her name.

Maternity Clothes:   Still haven't gone shopping yet. I'm really trying to hold out as long as possible!

Weight gain:   I think I'm going to delete this category next week because I don't care to know how much weight I've gained and I'm not going to weigh myself so you won't see it next week!

Belly Button: Still an innie but I don't think it will be an innie the whole pregnancy like it was last time.

Movement: I've still been feeling some "somethings" going on in there. It's VERY sporadic though.

Sleep:   Note to self: Invest in a pregnancy pillow. I am not sleeping that well and I can't find a comfortable position and I wake up at all hours of the night.

Symptoms: My feet and fingers are still swelling but not as bad as last week. I've been really trying to drink a TON of water and getting up at work more often.

What I miss: Nothing at all! I am so thankful and blessed to be pregnant again.

What I'm looking forward to: My regular OB check up on Wednesday. Preslei is going with me and she is SOOOOOOO excited!

Cravings: Still nothing really. It's been funny at some of things that just gross me out now. For instance, scrambled eggs. Blah. The thought of me touching and preparing raw meat makes me get queasy if I try to eat it. If I see the meat before it is cooked, I can't eat it. *gag*

Best moment this week: We went to the lake this past weekend for our annual Kines family reunion. We always have SUCH a good time!

SUYL-Couponing Sites

2011-10-21T12:05:00.002-04:00

I started the couponing thing earlier this year and man, I was SO confused. I just didn't "get it". I had heard about this local woman from Thomasville, GA named Kim Weckwert, that actually taught coupon classes so I signed up. Let me just say, this is one of the most sweetest women I have ever met. She is the true definition of a southern Christian woman. She isn't one of those women that wants to make money off you, she genuinely wants to teach you to save money. I took her class when she first started teaching the classes and from there, her classes took off. She was offered a segment on our local news station (WCTV in Tallahassee) called "Couponing 101" and has became a hit. She started a very helpful website and I couldn't be more proud! I love Southern Savers but what Kim offers is geared more towards local stores and even has other stores we don't have here for other site visitors.

Here is Kim's website. She is now known as "The Every Day Coupon Queen"! :o) Here is her Facebook page as well.

Since learning how to coupon, I can save on average 60-65% off my grocery bills.

Thank you SO much Kim!!

13 weeks!

2011-10-17T14:58:00.000-04:00

13 WEEKS

Pregnancy Highlights

How Far Along: 13 weeks

Size of baby: 2.9 inches and the size of a peach.

Gender:   If I want to, I can find out in 2 weeks. How crazy is that?!?! I'm still undecided of when I want to find out. My frugal self is telling me to just wait until Nov. 28th (my 20 week appt. with Dr. Willis...he's the maternal/fetal medicine doctor that I've seen a few times since the blighted ovum scare) because I don't have to pay $94 to have someone tell me 4 weeks earlier. BUT.....I also think it would be fun to do a whole "gender reveal" party when we go to the mountains on Nov. 2nd. I can find out on Nov. 1st so I think it'd be fun to keep it a secret until we went to the mountains and then did some cute little party at the cabin without telling my family.

Maternity Clothes: Ugh....I'm TRYING to wait until we go to the mountains to get some maternity clothes. There is an outlet mall in Commerce, GA (which is about 2 hours from Blue Ridge) that has a Motherhood outlet and hopefully, I can convince Keith to let's go there one day.

Weight gain: Oh dear Lord, I feel like I've gained 100lbs this week. I just feel like poo. I'm going to start walking in the afternoons when I get home to see if it will make me feel less bloated and have more energy. I have to admit, this week has gotten me worried/terrified of how I will feel later in my pregnancy. I wasn't that much "skinnier" during my 1st pregnancy and I seriously had the best and perfect pregnancy. I felt great when I got big and never complained until about the last 2 weeks when I was getting "miserable" so maybe this is just the first trimester "funk". Speaking of first trimester, apparently, I was wrong last week in the fact 12 weeks starts the 2nd trimester. I could have sworn that was when it started but, nope, it starts at 14 weeks. Oh well. :o)

Belly Button: Still an innie.

Movement: I felt "something" last night that definitely wasn't gas. I think it was a little flutter. Nothing definite but it was still something :o) It was funny though b/c I held my breath to see if I could feel it again and I felt it again but it after I started breathing again.

Sleep:  Some nights are great but other nights it takes an act of Congress to actually go to sleep and stay asleep. Preslei and I fell asleep in the living room Friday night and woke up at 2am and after I got in the bed, it was like 4am before I fell back asleep.

Symptoms: Swelling. I have GOT to get up and walk around more at work. My feet look as big as my head by the end of the day. I seriously only get up to pee at work or grab stuff off the printer because I stay so busy and I'm just glued to the computer. I need to try to remember to get up at least every 30 minutes and walk around. I did buy some compression socks at WalMart this weekend and they felt like Heaven when I put them on Friday night.

What I miss: Nothing at all! I am so thankful and blessed to be pregnant again.

What I'm looking forward to: Being in the mountains in TWO WEEKS!!!! Hopefully my family won't want to take pictures at the same spot we did last year because good grief, this preggo is NOT going to be hiking again this year.

Cravings: Honestly, nothing sounds good to me. I think it's the whole "I feel 100lbs heavier already" thing because the thought of any type of food makes me wanna puke.

Best moment this week: Feeling the little "flutter" last night in my tummy!

What I'm Loving Wednesday

2011-10-12T14:51:00.000-04:00

For starters, I'm just thankful for life in general. I feel so incredibly blessed to be surrounded by an amazing family and wonderful friends.

What I'm thankful for today is.........I got a new car!!! :o) Yay me! I'm officially the owner of a soccer mom van! We got a Honda Odyssey. I've always been a pratical person and while, I LOVE a yukon or suburban, I don't love that they are gas guzzlers. A van just seemed to make the most sense. They are VERY spacious, get excellent gas mileage (18-24mpg) and drive like a car. What makes me even more happy is that car insurance is cheaper for my van than it is on my Trailblazer! Yay for saving money!! I was worried that Keith would HATE it since it's so "Mom" like but he and I both test drove it and he really likes it. He is SO impressed with all the storage. Preslei told me this morning that she "had fun riding in that new car yesterday" so I'm glad we have her seal of approval. I was just getting so worried about the space in my Trailblazer when Baby #2 gets here because I'm 5'10 and Keith is 6'1 and it isn't very comfortable when all 3 of us ride in my car now so I was just dreading adding an infant carrier.

Sooo....YAY!

I'm totally going to rock that swagger wagon ;o)

(and....if anyone is looking for a good used Trailblazer, let me know!!! HA!)

12 weeks! Hello 2nd trimester :)

2011-10-10T09:08:00.000-04:00

12 WEEKS

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 12 weeks

Size of baby: 2 inches and the size of a lime.

Gender: Okay, okay....I caved. LOL...I know everyone who said "Oh Amanda....there is NO way you could NOT find out!" are laughing and saying, "I told you so" right now.   I guess I'm just too much of a planner. Plus, if this kidlet is a boy then I have to find something to do with those 8 rubber maid totes full of Preslei's old baby clothes because our house does not have enough storage room! So......I can't decide if I want to find out at 16 weeks and pay to have one of those gender ultrasounds or do I wait until November 28th to find out at Dr. Willis' office when he does the 20 week scan to make sure the baby is healthy. Decisions decisions. IF I do find out early, I may wait until after the 20 week scan to be 100%, ya know?!

Maternity Clothes:  I think there will be a shopping trip in the next few weeks. I can still wear 95% of my non-maternity clothes but I just don't feel as comfortable in them as I do the 2 maternity shirts I wear.  I'm hoping I can get by with my regular "pull on" type black pants I have that I wear to work now without having to buy too many maternity pants. My problem is I can't find plus size and tall length maternity pants. Grrr..... When I buy the average length pants, they usually shrink up after I wash them so they all end up looking like high waters. Gotta love being 5'10!

Weight gain:  I still have no idea. As long as I don't gain like 50-70lbs, I'll be okay. Obviously, I'm not one of those girls that are obsessed with weight. ;o) Thankfully, I have my lapband because after this baby is born, I'm getting it filled and I'm going to drop this weight.

Belly Button: Still an innie.

Movement: No and I'm SOOOOO ready to feel this baby move!

Sleep: Ahhh yes...sleep. It's a wonderful thing. Now, if only I could stop getting up in the middle of night to go pee, it'd be perfect. I'm trying not to sleep on my stomach even though Dr. Google says it is okay but I always wake up on my stomach. I'm sure the bigger I get, the harder it will be to be a tummy sleeper.

Symptoms: Mondays are the worst because I have all weekend to just relax and then BAM! Mondays hit and the work week begins. Keith knows not to expect me to do anything on Mondays because I am just beat. Thankfully, he doesn't work on Mondays so 9 times out of 10, dinner is ready when I get home. :o)

What I miss: Nothing at all! I am so thankful and blessed to be pregnant again.

What I'm looking forward to: My next appointment so I can see how big the baby is getting. I'm going to take Preslei with me this time because every appointment she begs to go and because the baby is/was so tiny, she'd get confused. She is so excited about going!

Cravings: Sandwiches and Mexican food. I've never been a BIG fan of sandwiches but oh man, they are SOOOO good.

Best moment this week: Finally reaching the end of my first trimester!!!

Just a bit of bragging

2011-10-10T08:39:00.000-04:00

Everyone is entitled to brag a little, right? Some of you that have followed my blog for a while may remember this post about one of my best friends, Brian. He is SOOOO talented! He is not only an amazing dancer but he sings, choreographs and acts. Brian has appeared in several TV commercials, an episode of the Vampire Diaries and Drop Dead Diva. He also landed a role as a principal dancer in the remake of "Footloose" and now, he just landed a role in the new movie "Pitch Perfect". "Pitch Perfect" is sort of like a "Glee" type movie. Brian said that there are two acapella groups that consist of 8 people in each group that are competing against one another and he is going to be one of the 8 people!!!

I am just SO proud of him. Brian has worked his rear off and has never given up on his dreams. What I also love and admire about him is he "always knows where home is".

I love you to the moon and back B and I feel so blessed to have you in my life!

Tales of a hunter's wife

2011-10-03T10:15:00.000-04:00

When I say Keith and I are polar opposites, I'm totally not kidding. He's country and I'm not-so country. I wouldn't consider myself a total "city girl" but I'm far from a country girl. The only thing I remotely enjoy is fishing, although, I refuse to take my fish off the hook. It scares me to death. I used to not be as grossed out by outdoorsy things. When Keith and I first started dating, I loved riding 4-wheelers and sitting with him in a deer stand, etc. Poor Keith. I do feel bad that I've changed as I've gotten older but (go ahead you little redneck girls that may happen to read my blog and get mad...lol) girls aren't supposed to get dirty and all that. It's just way too "manly" for me.

I used to get really annoyed when hunting season came in. I feel like a single woman. Seriously, every single chance he got, he was hunting. Now, I'm like, "Hey, as long as it is putting meat in the freezer!". (We only process deer meat and of course, the fish although Keith likes quail, I don't eat it) Keith's biggest things he likes to hunt is #1, deer and then duck, quail and turkey. He absolutely loves to fish, especially salt water fishing. Keith lived in Hawaii for a few years while he was growing up and his Dad had a boat and would fish commercially. I've always said that one day, I want to send Keith to Costa Rica on a fishing trip as a surprise. But, the past few years, he's been selected by the State to receive a gator tag. Basically, it's a lottery type system. You enter your name and people are randomly selected to receive (1) tag. Keith has "won" the past 2 or 3 years.

Saturday was a BUSY day for me and Preslei. We had a baby shower to go to for a friend of mine from high school and then she had a birthday party. I decided we would do a drop in at the shower and then go to the bday party. After the birthday party was over (1pm), I got back in the car and checked my phone. Keith had sent me a picture. They finally caught a gator. Keith insisted that I drive to his friend, Robert, house to see the gator. I wasn't thrilled because we made lunch plans with my sister in law and nephew but since it was important to him, we went.

HOLY. CRAP.

This gator was huge. It was 11 ft. 1 in. and weighed an estimated 600-650lbs. I felt the inner redneck coming out b/c I was snapping pics left and right. If I wasn't wearing a cute outfit and had all my teeth in my mouth, I felt like we would have been a perfect fit on "Swamp People". LOL.

Here are the pics......

Taylor, Robert's son (l), Robert (c) and Keith (r)

Scary!!!

Bahahaha, I can't help but just laugh at this picture.

RAWR!!!!! ;o)

On Sunday, they caught another one. It was much smaller (8ft something) so I didn't take any pictures. But, if I can get my hands on the video that was taken, it's totally going on Youtube. I don't think I've laughed that hard in a LONG time. Long story short, the didn't kill the gator in the water. They just taped his mouth and put him in the back of the truck. Keith wanted Preslei to see a live gator. Well, when they pulled him out of the back of the truck, his back legs got untied so.....Keith was trying to jump on it and he was getting scared. It was the funniest thing ever.

I must say though, as opposite as Keith and I are and as much as I'm SO not a country girl, I'm glad he has a hobby that he enjoys. And...I must say, my little hunter cleans up very nice when he's not wearing all that camo and hunting stuff!

11 weeks!

2011-10-01T08:07:00.000-04:00

11 WEEKS

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 11 weeks

Size of baby: A little over 1 1/2 inches and the size of a fig.

Gender: No idea yet!!! We can't decide if we want to let it be a surprise or find out. Keith is adament he wants to know and I'm leaning more towards a surprise. We'll see!

Maternity Clothes: I have 2 maternity shirts I wear but they don't look maternity! I feel kinda dumb that I'm already wearing them but hey, I like them! ;o)

Weight gain: No idea. Hopefully this pregnancy will be like Preslei's and I'll only gain 30lbs and drop 25lbs by my 6 weeks post pregnancy appointment!

Belly Button: Still an innie.

Movement: Not yet. Although I swore I felt something Thursday night but I know it is WAY too early! It was probably gas or something, HA!

Sleep: I sleep comfortably (maybe it's because I am still able to sleep on my stomach.....and yes, it's safe...) but it's hard for me to actually fall asleep and stay asleep all night.

Symptoms: Just extreme fatigue and sore boobs! I'm ready for my energy to return!!!

What I miss: Nothing at all! I am so thankful and blessed to be pregnant again.

What I'm looking forward to: Feeling the baby kick and move all around. That is the best feeling in the entire world.

Cravings: I think this child will come out speaking spanish. I could eat Mexican every day!!!

Best moment this week: Hearing the heartbeat for the first time and seeing the baby again :)

(Random....I don't think I've realized how much I use "!". It is driving me nuts but my sentences don't look right without them! LOL)

New pictures of our little nugget

2011-09-30T15:32:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone.....do you see my wee little hands/feet?!

Quick little pregnancy update :o)

2011-09-29T11:47:00.000-04:00

I went back to Dr. Morales yesterday as a follow up from Dr. Willis' appointment on the 15th when he found the baby!!! Since Keith already took 2 days off for the last 2 appointments, Mom came with me. Everything went really well except the fact I couldn't see a thumping heartbeat on Dr. M's monitor (bless him but he has some really outdated machines but hey, I'm not complaining since I get to see the baby at every appointment!). We actually saw the baby move with his machine and he said he was completely assured everything was fine, but he knows me and he knows I want to see that heartbeat to get reassurance. (It is SO nice to have a Dr. that knows me like that!) So, we went back to Dr. Willis' office (who I seriously can't praise enough and I personally told him how much I appreciate him and his staff for being so kind and caring to me) and we saw the little nugget with it's heartbeat! It was beating 184bpm :) My Mom was SO excited and we both just had tears in our eyes. Best part was I'm no longer measuring 2 weeks behind. I'm officially measuring 10 weeks 5 days (as of today) which is exactly where I should be!

Since I now have total reassurance that everything is okay, I am going to start the weekly pregnancy update on Saturday. I feel like doing that makes it "real" now. I have to admit, I've been having weird emotions and feelings before my appointment. I was seriously having anxiety about my appointment. I felt like I was going to get bad news and I just couldn't shake it off. It bothered me that I hadn't really "connected" with this pregnancy like I did with Preslei's but I think that I just heavily guarded my emotions so that if something was wrong, I'd be okay. I also think that I don't have as much "free time" to just "ooh and ahhh" about everything baby like I did with Preslei because I'm juggling work, mommy duties and wife duties whereas before, I didn't have a silly 3 year old running around. I've finally allowed myself to get giddy and excited and start looking at furniture and strollers and ALL that fun stuff and not have a doubt in my mind. I felt ashamed of my feelings and emotions and I had only talked to 3 people about it and they all reassured me that it is normal to guard your emotions when someone has been thru what I did.

Much love,

Pinterest. A love/hate relationship

2011-09-27T11:34:00.000-04:00

Ahhhhh.....pinterest, how I love thee...except for days like today. It's 10:36am, I haven't eaten anything "filling" for breakfast yet all I can do is look at recipes on Pinterest. Not a good thing. I mean, OHHHHH....MMMYYYY....GGOOOSSSSHHH. I feel like I need a bib. Here are some of the ones that I'm drooling over.

1. Cheesy Enchilada Casserole
2. Pizza Bites
3. Chedder Bacon Ranch Bites
4. Mac & Cheese
5. Blue Velvet Cake

That's just a few. But, I seriously need to get in the kitchen this weekend and try some new recipes. This is one of the many reasons I totally need to be a stay at home Mom. ;o)

Apologizing and realizations

2011-09-23T14:37:00.000-04:00

Apologizing is hard for stubborn people like myself; especially when not everything is your fault but I think that as grown people, you just have to "man up" and do what is right. And that is what I have done. I have always prided myself in the fact that I can see two sides and can put myself in someone's shoes to try to see the whole picture, even when it is something I'm involved in. I think, well I know, I am one stubborn girl but hey, I get it honestly (ah hem...Daddy....LOL) but once I cool down and start thinking logically, I realize things and then I, 9 out of 10 times, try to make amends.

I recently apologized for something that I didn't cause nor allowed to continue but, at some point in your life, things have to change...YOU have to change. I have got to learn that people make mistakes and that hopefully, by making mistakes, they can learn by them. Now, does that give the ok for people to continue to make the same mistake over and over again, well no, but we as Christians should forgive. God forgives so why shouldn't we?

Has my apology been accepted? No, well, not that I know of. And you know, I'm okay with that because I truly feel like deep down in my heart, I have done what was right. I took the first step and opened the door to hopefully resolving the issues at hand and I truly mean that.

Will things ever be the same as they were? Probably not. I think I will always be guarded but I do want things to be different than what they are now. So, at what point should I make another effort or should I just let them try to reciprocate my actions?

This reminds me of an old friendship I had back several, several years ago. Lindsey and I were seriously like the best of friends. Connected at the hip practically. She was one of those girls that reminded me SO much of myself in the sense that she never meets a stranger and is just very friendly (Yeah, yeah, I'm totally bragging on myself....LOL). We literally hung out every single day. Things happened between us and we stopped being friends. Several years passed by and both of our lives had changed. She got married, had her 2nd son, moved away, Keith and I had Preslei and we all just basically grew up and matured. I had always hoped she was doing well (Seriously, no matter how much people may think I can't stand someone, I always hope people are doing well in their lives). I decided to reach out to her on Facebook one night. I am slightly addicted to Big Brother and she reminds me SO much of Rachel and so, I messaged her and told her that and that I hoped she was doing well. That one message basically renewed our friendship. I am so proud of the person she has become over the past few years. Moral of the story, always forgive because at one point in your life, there was a reason you liked that person. I truly think God brought both of us back in each other's lives for a reason and especially at the right time.

Until next time...

We have a name folks!

2011-09-22T11:51:00.000-04:00

But....I'm still keeping it a secret. :) There are only a handful of people that know our names and I can't decide if I want to keep it a secret throughout the entire pregnancy or if I will reveal it when we find out the gender. Who knows. The girl name is a very special name. It has a sweet story that I will share if we have a girl. It's actually traditional but not very common so I like it, actually, I love it. I've loved it for years and the story behind it makes it 10x more special.

I have my next appointment next Wednesday....yay! I'm wondering if they are going to monitor me more closely now b/c of all the craziness?? I hope so b/c I LOVE ultrasounds. I need my own personal ultrasound machine. LOL.

The Name Game

2011-09-19T13:33:00.001-04:00

For the most part, I'm a planner. I like to know when things will happen and what the end result will be. I am typically not a fan of surprises. Before we found out we were pregnant with Preslei, I already had our names decided on. If it was a girl, her name would be Preslei Paige and for a boy, Cohen Jutson. This time, I am not 100% set on a girl name and it is already driving me insane, lol. We have our boy name (it isn't Cohen) but the freak I am, I get paranoid someone will "steal" it and then I'll have to think of another one. Keith decided on the girl name, and while I like it, I don't LOVE it.

So, let's play the name game. I need some girl names!! The middle name will be Claire. I like "different" names. Not anything crazy but not a name that a bazillion kids are named. I also need something that kind of flows with Preslei.

**Oh, and I really like last names for first names if that helps any!**

HELP!!! :o)

Our TEENY TINY miracle

2011-09-16T09:45:00.002-04:00

This picture still just gives me goosebumps! To go from being told I had a blighted ovum to seeing our little bean is just AMAZING!!!

Our God is an Awesome God!

2011-09-15T13:46:00.000-04:00

For those who don't believe in God or the power of prayer, I am a true testament. We saw our baby and the heartbeat today!!!! I am measuring 2 weeks behind (I'm measuring 6 weeks 6 days as opposed to 8 weeks 4 days) so our due date is May 4th. GOD IS SO GOOD!!!!

I can't even begin to tell you how excited we are. I mean, WOW.

Devastated

2011-09-09T18:19:00.000-04:00

Devastated is putting it mildly.

Our doctor's appointment didn't turn out as expected. They couldn't find a baby. Dr. Morales said I have what is called a blighted ovum. Basically, I'm pregnant but the baby didn't form. I had my hcg level checked to see if my due date was off but my quant count was 63,000 and he said there should be a baby with a heartbeat. My mind has been in a thousand places since Wednesday. I am absolutely heartbroken. When we've tried for so long and to think "finally!" and now you are told you need a d&c and your doctor wants to refer you to a specialist (oh and it doesn't help that I.F. isn't covered by our insurance) you feel helpless.

I have decided to wait a few weeks and have 2 more ultrasounds before doing the surgery because I've read that women with tilted uteruses often get misdiagnosed. Now, that's not to say I think I was because I don't want to have false hope, I'm a realist, but before I get my insides scraped out, I want to be 150% sure.

If I never ask for anything else from my readers, I ask that you pray for my peace and understanding with this.

With love,

Do I have any readers from the Blue Ridge, GA area?

2011-09-06T15:39:00.000-04:00

If so, let me know. I won a VIP Pass for two to the Blues and Barbeque Festival for THIS Saturday (Sept. 10) that I would love to pass them along to someone. Email me at amandakines@hotmail.com if you are interested.

SUYL-Favorite blogs

2011-09-02T14:16:00.000-04:00

Of course, my blog is my favorite..LOL. In all seriousness, here's a list of my favorite blogs.

1. Kelly's Korner (DUH!)
2. The Journey of Parenthood. I actually found Emily's blog on Kelly's Korner on the SUYL baby names. I liked how she spelled her son's name (Kye) and then I realized she only lives like 45 minutes from me. I love how her and her husband are a young couple like me and Keith and how she loves the Lord and her entire life is focused on family. I think it is amazing to see people my age leading their lives in the right direction.
3. Lambert's Lately. I found her thru KK's too!
4. A Journey from Hope to Grace. Okay, I absolutely 100% LOVE LOVE LOVE Jenny. I found her blog thru a friend of a friend about 3 years ago. I have met some of the sweetest girls from Texas and she is one of that bunch. Jenny is like my online BFF, lol. This girl has been thru Hell and back and I admire her strength and Faith SO SO much. Have I mentioned how much I love this girl?! I can't wait to meet her in person! Yes, a flight to Dallas has been discussed many, many times!
5. Stephanie. Oh gosh, what is there NOT to love about Steffy. She is funny, witty, smart and SUPER crafty. She and I have gone to school together since elementary school but were never super close. Especially after she poured a snow cone down my shirt in 5th grade....LOL. Thru Facebook, we got back in touch with each other and she has been one of those people who I wish I could go back to high school and hang out with. She has always given me her ear thru my last infertility struggle and I am so thankful for that. Fun fact about Steffy: She appeared on TLC's "Say Yes to the Dress-Atlanta" a few weeks ago. She was hilariously funny on the episode. She bought 3 wedding dresses and wanted another. She said one made her feel like cupcake, LOL.
6. Rachel King. I don't even know where to begin with Rachel's blog. Rachel is a local pastor's wife. They lost their beautiful and most precious 4 year old daughter, Makiah, in a tragic car wreck last October. She was killed by a teenager high on marijuana. It literally gives me chills and brings tears to my eyes just writing that. This tragedy has rocked our town to its core. Rachel was also 16 weeks pregnant with her beautiful twin girls, Abby & Alena, who were born this February. This blog is just amazing.

Hope you love reading these blogs as much as I do!

On another note, because I know this will get lots of views and you can never have enough people praying for you....we have our first OB appointment on Wednesday. We tried for almost a year to get pregnant with this baby and so, as any woman knows, the first trimester is very nerve-racking. Please keep me in your prayers that I get a good check up and our little butterbean is healthy and growing.

It still seems surreal

2011-08-27T09:29:00.000-04:00

I still can't believe I'm pregnant. Seriously. I mean, we have wanted this for a long time and to know God blessed us with another miracle, is just amazing. I have been feeling a LOT better this week. My back pain isn't nearly as bad as it has been and no nausea. The worst part this week has been that I feel like I have narcolepsy. I am tired ALL THE TIME!!! I'm taking progestrone supplements until 12 weeks so I'm almost positive the meds are making me even more tired than normal.

Preslei has been over the moon excited knowing "Mommy has a baby in her tummy". I've always been the type of parent that explains everything to her and keep her informed. Keith has been so sweet to me. He knows exactly how freaked out I get during the first trimester and he has been so supportive and helped me so much around the house. He was SO cute last night. He came up to me and said, "How's my baby?" and I said, "I'm just really tired but ok" and then he put his hand on my stomach and said, "How's my other baby?" I just giggled. It was cute.

I think I will do the weekly updates around 8 weeks or I may wait until I'm 12 weeks. I am definitely not posting "belly pics" because belly pics are only cute on those skinny girls. Heck, if you look at my "belly" now, you'd think I was 9 months pregnant. LOL. Which reminds me of a funny story. Being fat just doesn't embarrass me. I'm me, take me for who I am or don't....doesn't matter to me. But, when we, well excuse me, I, checked into our hotel in Jacksonville on Saturday (We were originally going to drive to Jax EARLY Saturday morning so I pricelined a hotel for Sat. night only but decided since Kellie and I were taking the kidlets to the zoo, we needed to leave Friday night b/c I couldn't handle a 3 hour drive and then all day in the sun with my back killing me the way it was so I pricelined another hotel but didn't get the same hotel as I did for Saturday night and Keith was already fishing when I needed to check into the 2nd hotel) I didn't check in until after we went the zoo and the check in guy was asking where Whigham, GA was so I told him about 40 minutes north of Tallahassee and he was like, "oh wow, I bet it is really hot there!" and I said, "yeah, it is but I think it's hotter over here even though you get the breeze off the coast" and somehow I had told him about going to the zoo and I said, "yeah, pregnancy and heat are just not a combination" and the other check in girl was like, "awww...what are you having?" and I seriously could not resist....I said, "Oh I'm only 5 weeks...I'm just fat right now" and I laughed. She was mortified. I kinda felt bad for embarrassing her but it was funny to me. ;o)

So tomorrow, I will be 6 weeks!! YAY!!

I'm venting....

2011-08-24T14:32:00.000-04:00

This is more for me than anyone else. Sometimes you just need somewhere to let it all out.

To say I'm mad is putting it mildly and I'm sure my hormones aren't helping matters.

It is sad when you can't share good news on Facebook without someone letting certain people know about it. Keith and I have made a tough decision to not allow certain people to be a part of our family's life anymore. There have been several instances over the past few years, one which happened a few months ago and I just refuse to let things continue to happen. I was very adament that I didn't want these people knowing we are expecting again and now, I find out that someone on Facebook told them. I'm sure that whoever told them, doesn't know the situation between us but dang, I wish people would hush their mouths sometimes.

I am just sick and tired of people that try to make themselves out to be the victim. Apparently, it "hurts their heart" that Keith and I didn't call and tell them we are expecting. When I wash my hands with someone, I mean it. I'm completely done.

What I'm loving!

2011-08-24T10:36:00.000-04:00

I'm LOVING that my nausea has subsided. I was starting to get worried I'd be puking soon but I haven't been nauseous since last week. If I don't eat first thing in the mornings, then I get a little queasy but I'm good after I eat.

I'm LOVING that Preslei was able to hold her new cousin, Raylie, pretty much ALL weekend. Every chance she got, she would hold her and feed her. I think she finally understands that we will have a new baby in the house and she will be able to help Mommy by feeding him/her. Seriously, how sweet is this picture?!?!

I am LOVING that we were able to break away last weekend and spend some much needed time in Jacksonville with my cousin, Kellie, and her hubby, Ryan, and 3 kids, Reagan, Reid and Raylie. I think it is so important for cousins to have that special bond with each other. Preslei absolutely adores Reagan and Reagan is SO good with Preslei. We took the kids to Jacksonville Zoo and OH.MY.GOSH...it was HOT. Preslei loved seeing the animals!

I am LOVING that I only have 2 more weeks until our first doctor's appointment!! I am on pins and needles waiting to see if we are going to have one or two (or three!!) babies. At first, I just knew it was twins but now, I think it is just one little bambino! We have officially decided on names but I can't decide if I want to announce them when we find out what we are having or if I want to wait until the baby is born.

I am LOVING that my parents are FINALLY coming home from their 10 day vacation this weekend. They went to visit Mt. Rushmore, Yellowstone Nat'l Park, Glacier Nat'l Park and other places out that way. While I love that my parents go on amazing vacations (they went to Alaska last year and Hawaii the year before and as kids, we went to all the top tourist spots like NYC, DC, Niagra Falls, etc.) I miss them when they are gone!!

What are YOU loving this week??

Talk about ripping out your heart

2011-08-18T16:35:00.000-04:00

I don't even know where to begin. I follow a blog of a girl named Brantley. She and her husband adopted the most beautiful little girl. I have loved reading her blog and recently, she has became very proactive in adoption. I would absolutely LOVE to adopt a child later down the road so I enjoy reading these blogs. Brantley posted a link to another blog that absolutely TORE my heart out of my chest.

You can view it here.

I just don't understand how anyone, and I mean ANYONE, think neglecting a child is okay. Just because a person has disabilities or an illness does NOT make them less of a human. My dad's brother, Uncle Tom, is mentally retarded. He had an accident when he was very young that caused brain damage. That is the sweetest, most loving, caring and helpful person I have ever met in my entire life. The love that Uncle Tom has for the Lord and his family would melt anyone's heart. Uncle Tom can't read and can only write his name but he is in church every Sunday and can sing the church hymns by heart. That my friends is a work of God.

Please pray for this sweet little girl.

Questions for all you 2nd time Moms

2011-08-18T13:02:00.000-04:00

Okay, I promise I'm not losing my mind.

I know I am still early but holy moly at the symptoms already. I have had nausea on and off throughout the day, nothing bad, but the other night, I was up at 11pm dry heaving. That was the worst it has been. But, my lower back is absolutely KILLING me. I've asked Dr. Google and it's normal (so long as you aren't bleeding) but oh my gosh, I can barely walk, sit or stand. My boobs are on fire and I swear, I feel as bloated as a stuffed pig. I never had any of this when I was pregnant with Preslei so is this normal for your second pregnancy? Of course, spaz case me, I'm like, "oh gosh, I wonder if I'm feeling like this so early means I'm having twins!" (I totally would love to have twins) Of course, I think because I was on a high dose of Clomid, that is the reason I'm wondering if it's twins.

Any suggestions/advice will be greatly appreciated!!!

(I'm not complaining because I know every single hurt and ache is worth it and I would do it million times over!)

The details

2011-08-16T10:22:00.000-04:00

Another preface....the details may be a little "TMI" to some but hey, it's life! And as a little side note, I have never shared on my status posts on Facebook my blog address so I feel so "weird" that all my little thoughts and words could now be read by a LOT of people that know me in real life. I guess the reason I liked blogging so much is because this was my little safe place where I could discuss everything and not everyone would read. But, I also feel very priviledged because after I shared my news and my blog link, I had someone I know send me a Facebook message asking about my infertility journey because she too was facing the same problems. I am so glad that people feel they can ask me anything because I really would love to tell anyone my story and give any type of advice I can.

Here's our little story.

I had basically given up this month. I was tired, cranky and just not wanting to go thru the whole "okay, we have to have sex tonight because I should be ovulating soon" thing and charting my temps every morning. Sex is supposed to be fun, not routine. Despite the crankiness and feeling of defeat, I still took the Clomid. They had increased it to 150mg and so I thought to myself, "you know, I think I am going to try those ovulation kits at WalMart" so I bought one. I bought the 7 day Clearblue Easy ones that included a digital pregnancy test. Around the time I thought I would be ovulating, I took one test and it showed a faint pink line....not ovulating. Okay, no biggie. The next day, it showed a dark pink line....so, per the instructions, it said to have sex within 24-48 hours. I took the test on Saturday, July 30. We tried the next night. That was the only time we tried during the little "fertility window". I tried to use 3 more tests and they were duds. So, let's fast forward to last Thursday, August 11th. My lower back had been killing me. That is one of the first indicators I'm about to start my period, only my temp hadn't dropped like it should have if I was about to start. I told myself that if my temp hadn't dropped Friday morning, I would take a pregnancy test just to rule out pregnancy so I could take a muscle relaxer. Here are some freaky things that happened that night.....I randomly thought to myself, "You know, maybe only having one child wouldn't be that bad if we couldn't have any more" and then later, I was looking online at one of my favorite clothing stores and noticed they started carrying maternity clothes and browsed their selection and last, as I was trying to get comfortable in bed, I thought to myself, "Yeah, if I get pregnant, there'd be no more sleeping on my stomach" and I thought how uncomfortable that would be. LOL.

So, I wake up and my temp is still elevated. (This was on August 12th. I was supposed to start on August 14th.) So, I grab the digital test that came with my OPK and do my thing. I am honest to God thinking it will pop up, "Not Pregnant" and so I wasn't staring it down like I do every other test. I glanced over and "Pregnant". I literally gasped. I started shaking and crying. I was like, "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I can't believe this!" I called Keith and tried to talk normal and I said, "Hey, what are you doing" and he was like, "Nothing, just getting ready to go do xyz" (i don't remember what it was) and I said, "are you by yourself" and he was like, "Yeah, why" and I just started crying and told him I took a test and we were pregnant. I've mentioned it before, but Keith is seriously a man of few words and doesn't really get excited but he was like, "Are you serious? I'm so happy! See, I told you if you stopped stressing out it would happen." LOL. I called my family doctor's office when they opened to go ahead and let them do a blood test so I would feel more at ease knowing what my hcg level was. They told me to come in after I dropped Preslei off at school. I did a blood and another urine. Urine was positive and the blood results wouldn't be in until Monday. When I called on Monday to get the numbers, it was 63. She said that was where it should be at at this stage. I was four weeks on Sunday. I had to go back to the doctor yesterday to get tested for strep (positive, ugh) so I wanted them to check my levels again and it was 224 yesterday.

The way I broke the news to my Mom is something I've been planning since like, forever ago. My friend Jenny's sister in law, posted her announcement on her blog back a few years ago (maybe like 2 1/2 years ago?!) and ever since I saw it, I thought, I have to use that idea. So, I got a bakery bun and I tied blue and pink ribbon around it with a notecard attached that said, "I need another 8 months to bake. April 22, 2012" and we placed it in the oven. My Mom had planned on coming over Saturday to play with Preslei but when she came over, she wasn't feeling well so she went and laid down in P's bed. I then set up the camera and said, "Oh Mom, I want to show you something. I want to show you what Keith and I have been baking." She was so reluctant because she was feeling like crapola but I told Preslei to go show Nonna.

Here is my Mom's reaction. (Note, you will need to fast forward it to the 1:45 mark)

Until next time....

A picture is worth a thousand words

2011-08-15T14:06:00.000-04:00

I will share all the details in another post. Right now, I have strep throat....again. As always, please keep us in your prayers as I am very early in my pregnancy. (I was 4 weeks yesterday.) We are all so excited!!!

Putting things in perspective

2011-08-09T15:23:00.000-04:00

The devil was working me so hard yesterday and I failed and let him win. I hate days like that. But then there are things that you read that make you snap out of it. I had literally gotten to the point where I wanted to deactivate my Facebook because I just got fed up with those announcements. I read a status post on my news feed that put everything in perspective.......

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." - Ephesians 4:31-32

I refuse to let the devil take control again.

Until next time....

Whirlwind week

2011-08-08T09:54:00.000-04:00

I hope I never have to relive last week. It was just a whirlwind.

I didn't tell very many people but Preslei had "surgery" last Tuesday. Apparently, Preslei has inherited Keith's weak teeth. I'm such a spaz case about teeth. She had to have some dental work done and because of her age, they highly suggested putting her under general anethesia so they could do it all at once and she wouldn't know what was going on. In my "old age", I'm becoming more anxious and controlling about things involving Preslei. I know, I know....I have GOT to relax. The mere thought of my baby being completely under just brought tears to my eyes. So, the day came and even with a Valium, I was a nervous wreck. (Apparently, I have a strong resistance to medicine) They took her back and gave her the "twilight" shot. I think my heart got ripped out, stepped on, put in a grinder and then placed back inside my chest. Not long after the shot, she just went in this zone and just went loopy and limp. I was just sitting there boo-hooing. 2 hours later, they said we could come back and she was still asleep but woke up after the nurse put a cold towel on her face. Gosh, I swear, I don't ever want her being put under again. Of course, she loves showing off her "new teeth". I didn't tell very many people about the procedure because it just made me feel like a horrible parent that I was brushing/flossing her teeth enough or good enough. Even though the dentist said there is no reason I should like that and that some kids just have very soft/weak teeth, it still makes me feel like I have done something wrong. I just have to learn to get over that. (She's doing really well and hasn't had any problems with her teeth hurting...praise the Lord!)

Now, let's fast forward to Thursday. Thursday was Preslei's last day at her sitter, "MiMi's" house. Mrs. Jan (MiMi) has kept Preslei since she was 6 weeks old. She also kept Keith when he was a kid. To say Jan is the most caring, Christian lady truly is an understatement. Preslei went to First United Methodist's 2 year old program last year on Tuesdays & Thursdays from 8:30-11:30 and she learned SO much. They decided to offer the 3 year program 8:30-11:30 Monday thru Friday and offer extended care until 5:15. It was just an opportunity I couldn't pass up. So, on Thursday, I threw all the kids at Jan's a "back to school" party. I brought some cupcakes (side note, Publix has the BEST cupcakes ever) and I picked up some pizzas for their lunch and brought Preslei's Disney DVDs. When I picked her up after work, Jan just loved on Preslei and of course, here come the tears for this Mama!! Thankfully, when school is out for holidays and breaks, Jan will be keeping Preslei.

So, since school started the next day, my game plan was to have Preslei in bed by 7:30. This is rare but I thought if she started winding down early, it would work. Yeah right! 9:30 and she was still awake. Preslei has never been a "schedule" baby/child but now that we have to leave the house by 7:30 every morning and she has a FULL day at school, I wanted her to get to bed at a reasonable hour. So far, it hasn't happened yet. I am thinking about finding some type of toddler herbal sleep aide.....gotta ask the doctor if it is ok first. She won't go to sleep unless Keith and I are in bed and she is sleeping with us. Of course, who doesn't love their little ones cuddling with you but I need her to be able to have a bedtime and sleep in her room.

Preslei woke up in a good mood Friday morning despite getting to sleep late. We get to church and I always have to take pictures and she was like, "Mommy, stop taking pictures, I'm ready to go inside!" Last year, she made me carry her in to school and it'd take me 10 minutes to pry her away. This year, totally different story. She walks in holding my hand and it takes about 2 minutes to pry her away, lol.

Here are two pictures from her first day of school. (Note, of course I know my child would look cute in any kind of clothes she wears but I was so "bummed" when they strongly encourage your child to wear play clothes and closed toe shoes. I bought her some of the cutest little dresses and sandals for school that I'm scared to let her wear because of the rules. Grrrrr.....LOL)

Until next time....

Best Parenting Advice

2011-07-29T14:15:00.000-04:00

I am linking up with Kelly's Korner for her weekly "Show Us Your Life" posts. This week's topic is "What is your best parenting advice". Boy oh boy, I love this one. Why? Because I have a short and simple answer.

Stop listening to the advice of other people because only YOU know what is best for you and your family.

It aggravates me to no end at how other people think they know what is best for your child. I know that most of the time people say these things out of the goodness of their hearts but only you know what fits your needs.

Also, you will see my post on C-sections below that I could only hope provides some encouragement for women who in fact have to deliver that route.

Thanks for stopping by and Happy Friday y'all!!! ;o)

Until next time......

Gotta love country living

2011-07-28T23:14:00.001-04:00

I haven't made it a secret how much I hate living in a small town (even though I know it has its advantages) but this afternoon something was going on that made me stop and think, "Now where else could you experience this?!"

So what was it?!?! Well, as Preslei and I were driving home from her MiMi's house (MiMi is her babysitter) we were almost home when WHOOSH....here comes a crop duster flying RIGHT over my car. I was as giddy as a school girl! MOST of the time, they spray the crops on the weekends at the crack of dawn and Preslei would always be asleep. I whipped my car in the drive and parked it and Preslei and I just watched him as he was flying next to us. She absolutely LOVED it!!! She was just waving and laughing.

When I say we live in the country, we really live out there. We JUST got DSL internet like 2 years ago! The closest neighbors we have is my brother and his family across the road and The Connells (who are the absolute sweetest old people!!) who own all the farm land surrounding us. One thing that I absolutely love is I know that no one will build around us because it is nothing but farm land. My brother and his wife got lucky when they bought their acreage! Now if we could just convince my parents to move out to our neck of the woods! ;o) (or convince my entire family to let's pack up and move to Atlanta or North Georgia!!)

Until next time......

W-I-L-W

2011-07-27T11:52:00.000-04:00

I am absolutely LOVING life in general right now. I swear it has to do with finally being at peace with the whole "I am still not pregnant" thing. When you shake off all the stress and realize how important life is in general and realize all your many blessings, it makes you so appreciative of what you have.

I am LOVING my little family and the fact Preslei has been cracking us up lately. Her two new phrases are, "I'm just kidding with y'all" and "Oh my goodness, are you for real?!" Of course, my little prissy thing has these little hand motions she does when she says it. (I really need to try to get it on video)

I am LOVING that we have booked our annual family vacation! Let the countdown to cool mountain air begin. I am beyond blessed to have amazing parents, my brother and his family and the fact that we are able to go on vacations together and actually enjoy each other. I'm so excited that we are going to change up the plans this year. Of course, we will be staying at "the mountain house" (as Preslei calls it) in Blue Ridge, GA but we are going to drive to Gatlinburg one day and hang out there. I'm hoping to go to Ober Gatlinburg and let Preslei and Caden play in the snow and stuff like that! I can't wait. Of course, I can't wait to go to Mercier Orchard and get some of their AMAZING apple cider. That stuff is SOOOO good.

What are YOU loving??

New pictures

2011-07-21T20:35:00.002-04:00

Gotta love impromptu photo sessions with your camera phone! I think Santa is going to bring this Mommy a nice camera for Christmas!!!

Funny story of the day. I had a perm put in my hair....yes, I know, I am TOTALLY bringing the 80's/90's back ;o) I wanted an easy way to style my hair in the mornings while letting it grow out. My hair has been short for seriously 14 years with the exception of letting it grow out for a year prior to our wedding. As soon as we said "I do", it got cut. My sister in law got one put in her hair a few months and oh my goodness, it was SO cute. I like it. I'll be glad when it relaxes a bit but I like it. It is going to be SO easy to fix in the mornings!! But, back to the story....I pick Preslei up from the sitter's and our conversation went like this:

Preslei: "Mommy, what did you do to your hair?!?!"
Me: "I made it curly. Do you like it?"
Preslei: "Yes ma'am!!! It's just like mine!!!"
Me: "Thank you Preslei. Mommy likes it too!"
Preslei: "But Mommy, what did you do to your other hair?"
Me: Nothing but laughter......

I love my child!! LOL

Until next time.....

It's a bird, it's a plane....it's a SNAKE!!!

2011-07-19T21:42:00.001-04:00

Oh but yes, you read that right....the story goes a little something like this.

Saturday, Preslei and I were getting ready to meet my Mom and go shopping for back to school clothes in Tallahassee. If any of you know me in real life, knows that I basically live out of my car. So, needless to say, my car needed cleaning out. I told Preslei to stay inside the house while I cleaned out the car. Of course, she didn't listen and walked out on the porch. Few minutes later, she said, "Mommy, there's a snake right there!" I looked and holy crap, it was a snake. I am scared to death (or so I thought) of them. I told Preslei to go inside and not come out. It was coiled up but never tried to strike or move so I finished cleaning out my car. Keith wasn't home because he was at the coast fishing so I had no idea what to do. I've never shot a gun on the ground so I was reluctant. Pessimistic me was scared that the bullets would ricochet and shoot me, LOL. So what do I do? I grab my phone, take a picture of it and upload it to Facebook. I have 2 friends that know everything there is to know about animals of any kind so I tagged them in the picture. My initial thought was that it was a baby rattlesnake. I decided to call my brother to come over and kill it because several people told me it was a rattlesnake. So I call him and he comes over. He asked that I go inside and grab our "picker upper thing" (yes, that is really what I call it). Well, when I did, the stupid snake went in the bushes. Next thing I know, it slithered in a crack in the foundation and went under the house. I was like, "OMG!!! It's going to get thru the flooring and attack me in my sleep!" (I told you I was a pessimist!)

So, we go back inside the house and Chris told me to google "timber rattlesnake" to see if that was what it was. It wasn't. I log back in on Facebook and was told it was a......you ready for this.....a BABY COTTONMOUTH!!! I think I died for a minute.

We have yet to see that snake again. One of my Facebook friends that is a snake expert said that it is probably long gone from now. It was just looking for water. I trust what he says. After all, he raised several snakes, including cobras, eastern diamondback rattlesnakes, a gaboon viper....just crazy!! LOL.

**I forgot to add how proud I am of Preslei for not trying to touch it or bend down to see it. We told her repeatedly how proud we were of her for telling Mommy she saw a snake and she should always tell an adult when she sees something like that and to NEVER touch any type of animal except our dogs. Of course, Keith swears that the reason she knows about snakes, lizard, alligators, etc. is because of Swamp People and those types of shows. LOL. He may be right but all I know is I am SO thankful she reacted the way she did.**
Until next time.....

Bring me peace, bring me joy

2011-07-15T11:01:00.000-04:00

Let me first start off by saying that when I was thinking of a blog title, these words immediately swept my thoughts. They sounded so familiar to me and I began to wonder if they were song lyrics.....so I googled. (I google EVERYTHING!!! What did we do before Google and the internet?!) So, I googled and found the song, "Bring the Rain" by MercyMe. I've never heard this song and when I read the title, I immediately thought of Angie Smith's blog, Bring the Rain. So, I went on YouTube and listened. I was speechless. It was AMAZING hearing that song and how much it relates to my blog post today. Here is the song I'm referring to.

Bring me peace, bring me joy is how I have felt the past few days. Anyone that has gone thru trying to conceive and infertility knows exactly how much it feels to feel defeated and how you just want to give up. Then, when you throw in fertility drugs to the mix with all the extra hormones they put in your body, you just become an emotional wreck when you get negative results month after month. These women that are on these journeys for years on end....well....you are AMAZING. The strength and courage you embody humbles me.

For a brief recap, we've been trying since last summer. We told no one. We wanted to have a "surprise" pregnancy. In April, something happened and we decided then to get on the fertility meds again. We started the next week on the meds and have been taking them every month since. I tested negative for the 3rd month this past weekend. Prior to testing, I was starting to wonder what is next for us. What is our actual "plan of attack"? At what point do we give ourselves a break? I need an emotional break.....I need my non-hormonal sanity back!

Since I was taking 100mg of Clomid this past month, I wondered at what point do we increase to 150mg and then 200mg...so I called Dr. M's nurse. Our plan of attack is this: We increase to 150mg this month and then 200mg. Dr. M doesn't allow you to be on the med for longer than 6 months and doesn't go over 200mg. So, my last month taking the medication, if I don't get pregnant, will be September. After that, we are going to be taking a break. How long? I can't be 100% sure. Ideally, I would like to start on the next phase of this journey in February of 2012. What will the next phase consist of? I have absolutely no idea. Dr. M doesn't do anything besides the Clomid so I will more than likely go back to Albany to The Veranda (I will be seeing a different doctor other the last one I saw) and we will weigh all our options. Our insurance doesn't cover any infertility procedures so whether we will be running tests, doing IUI or IVF...who knows. All I can do is pray about it. I know without a shadow of a doubt, God will lead us in the right direction. I feel completely satisfied with our decision on what to do the next few months.

"Bring me joy, bring me peace

Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain"

Until next time.........

C-sections

2011-07-07T14:37:00.000-04:00

To most pregnant women, that word scares the daylights out of them. Well, I'm here to tell you they aren't as bad as what people make them out to be! I have a friend that is in labor as we speak and another friend is worried for her that she will have to have a c-section because she isn't dilating. I get it, I do....every woman wants to have a natural childbirth but a c-section isn't that bad (at least mine wasn't). Before I had my c-section, I was a pro-natural childbirth girl. I didn't want any drugs and certainly not a c-section. I didn't want to be induced and I wanted a water birth. Well, we all know that you can't plan everything. I was induced, had an epidural 4 hours later, and ended up going into surgery b/c despite everything we tried, Preslei's heart rate kept dropping and I wasn't dilating. In no way did I want to risk anything...I wanted her out. I had an AMAZING experience during my c-section. We, meaning the doctors, nurses, me and Keith, were all in the OR joking around and laughing. I mean, really....who can say that while they are in surgery?! I had fun, lol. I will never forget when Dr. M started pushing Preslei down and I felt all the pressure, I said, "Shit!" and he started laughing and said, "I don't think I've ever heard you say anything like that!" and then a few minutes later, when he was pulling her out...I said, "Sshhhhh........shoot!" and the entire room just busted out laughing. It was priceless.

But, I just want people out there to know that if you have to deliver your child via c-section, it doesn't make you a failure and it isn't as scary as it seems. My recovery wasn't terrible. The three worst things was I couldn't drive for 2 weeks; I had to sleep in the recliner for what seemed like forever; and getting up for the first time after surgery was hard. Was it pure hell? Nope. Of course, I would love to try and do a VBAC but Dr. M doesn't do those and I trust his judgment. I just get tired of reading how people are so worried for so and so b/c they may have to have a c-section. C'mon people, it isn't the end of the world and the end result is what truly matters!!

And there you have it........ ;o)

Randomness and some pics

2011-06-28T15:46:00.000-04:00

I've been having more pity parties. I'm trying SO hard to stay positive and optimistic but why can't things happen the way I want them to?! Is that me just being greedy and selfish? I have literally cried every night before finally going to sleep for the past 3 days. I'm just not an emotional person so I'm not liking this whole crying thing. Keith and I were talking during my first little crying episode and like I tried to tell him, I feel like a failure of a woman. Women are supposed to be fertile and have babies and I am just not feeling very optimistic lately. If any of you know my husband in real life, knows he is the most laid back, easy going guy there is. He doesn't have a whole lot to say with "deep conversations" but as I was telling him how I felt like such a failure, he just held me and said, "You are far from a failure. Anytime you feel like that just go look in Preslei's room and know that you CAN have beautiful kids. If it isn't meant for us to have another child, then we will be a family of 3." All I could do was cry and say, "I know". I may not tell him enough or show it enough, but my husband is my rock. While I do know I'm not a complete failure because I am just ever so blessed being Preslei's Mom, I want Preslei to have a sibling. I know it's probably premature and I'm being pessimistic as always, but I just have this sinking fear that I'm not going to be able to get pregnant. I don't know why I feel like that but I do.

I know SO many pregnant girls or women that just had babies that I need a 3rd hand to count them on. Am I jealous.....heck yes! I want to be one of the ones that updates their blogs or Facebook status to the weekly baby updates. I am one of those women who absolutely LOVES being pregnant. I love everything about it except for that waiting period until you reach 12 weeks. I never once complained about being pregnant like you hear some people do. But.....I may be jealous but I'm not resentful, I am beyond excited for each and every person I know. My cousin that lives in Jacksonville just had their 3rd baby and while I wish we would have been pregnant at the same time like we were before with her 2nd and my 1st, I couldn't be happier for them. I cannot wait to get my hands on Miss Raylie!

I think what makes me feel like this is that stupid little app on my phone that I enter in my temps every morning and it tells me when I ovulate. Last month, we had sex the day before I ovulated and I didn't conceive. I know I need to stop comparing this TTC round with the first but I do. We conceived Preslei on a Monday night and I ovulated that Wednesday so why didn't I conceive last month? and....that stupid little calendar stares me in my face every morning when I enter my temp. I'm worried because I ovulated on the 24th last month and the 29th in April and per my calendar, I still haven't ovulated. C'mon ovaries, you gotta work with me!

Well, enough of Amanda's pity party of one.

On to some positive things. I have had the best time with Preslei lately. She is starting to get so big and actually enjoy going shopping with me. We have been so busy the last few weekends and she has been in absolute Heaven. She is getting to the age now where she doesn't want me going to work and is wondering why I can't stay home and play. My response is, "Don't you want to be able to go shopping with Mommy and do fun stuff? Well, Mommy and Daddy both have to work to be able to buy you things." So, basically, I work to buy her clothes and toys, LOL, (in her mind).

I am in the process of redoing her bedroom. I've always been a fan of "diva" things like zebra and hot pink ANYTHING but as she is getting older, I want her to be that sweet, innocent little girl. Zebra and hot pink just scream DIVA and SASS. When we switched her room (we changed her nursery room into the playroom and the spare room into her big girl room) I bought her zebra print bedding and accessories. This decor is the more soft and sweet look. I ordered some light pink and white toile bedding and I bought her a new nightstand and a mirror to hang above her dresser. I'll be making (gasp!) some wall decorations and I can't wait to post pictures after I've finished. I have been on a mission this weekend buying things for her room. We bought the nightstand Friday night in Tallahassee and then I went to Albany on Saturday to buy the mirror. (We were in Albany the weekend before on a playdate at the RiverQuarium...which is a must see, and found the mirror when we went shopping afterwards and didn't buy it) Sunday was a "chill day" at home and then Monday, we went with the church to Zoinks (indoor bounce houses) and she loved every minute. Days like that is when I would give anything to be a stay at home Mom.

Here are some pictures I have taken within the last few weeks. I realized I never post pictures so here we go!

Hamming it up at Mellow Mushroom...6/25/2011 (Mommy & Preslei date)

May 19, 2011

Preslei and Hayley at Mellow Mushroom...6/18/2011

Helping Daddy drive the boat :o) 5/29/2011

Enjoying her first time on a boat! 5/29/2011

Tunes for Thursday

2011-06-16T13:39:00.000-04:00

Hope you all enjoy as much as I do. It's such a reflection on my marriage. I love you honey.

Bring it

2011-06-10T10:39:00.000-04:00

Round 3 of Clomid has officially started today. I'm on 100mg this month. Time will tell.....

I've had my little pity party and I'm ready to get this show on the road, again. The more I've thought about my struggles, and while yes, it is hard to deal with at times, I'm still so very blessed. God has already blessed our lives with the spunkiest and funniest 3 year old I could have ever dreamed of being a Mom to. I'm also beyond blessed that He chose me to walk down this path and to leave it up to Him because I have grown so much stronger in my faith and have learned to trust in Him.

I've been reading a lot of quotes lately (I like reading quotes & scriptures, they tend to make me see the positives) and I posted one yesterday on my Facebook that read, "You can't have testimony without a test". Wow. Then I posted this as my status today, "Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts."— Mother Teresa. Another WOW.

As I sit here, typing what comes to mind, I am just so humbled and in awe of our God. I will continue to praise Him thru this storm and every other storm that comes our way. We as humans, have a tendency to want to drown ourselves in self pity and hey, I'll admit it, I do it quite often. I think it's healthly actually. But, you have to learn to pick yourself up off the ground, brush off the dust and get back with the program. I've had a lot of emotional days lately, more than I would like to admit actually but here I sit, PRAISING my God for all the blessings he has bestowed upon me and my family. No one said life was easy but if we all just stop for a moment, and focus on the positives instead of the negatives, you start to realize just how amazing He is.

Dear Infertility.....bring it because I'm ready for you and I'm ready to fight the battle.

Letting it out

2011-06-08T12:59:00.000-04:00

To say I've been emotional lately is putting it mildly. I am trying SO hard to trust in Him and leave everything up to Him but man, it's hard! Why is getting pregnant so daggum easy for most people and takes an act of Congress for others?!?! What have I done in the life to be "punished" like this? God never promised us that life was easy, I know that. It's just hard. To say that I didn't get my hopes up for a 2nd round of Clomid baby is a lie. My hopes were high. I mean, if it happened that quickly the first time, why can't it happen that fast the second? I've already placed a call into Dana, Dr. M's nurse for another Rx of Clomid. When she and I spoke last month, she said they would increase the Rx from 50mg to 100mg if I didn't get pregnant. I just want to talk with her to see if there is anything else I could be doing or taking to increase the chance. Of course, here I am, sitting here thinking, "Okay, if they are going to increase me to 100mg, and then I'm not pregnant....something else going on and I'm not going to get pregnant". That's just the pessimist in me. I think after not getting positive test results this month, I've learned my lesson about getting my hopes up. Especially after the emotional breakdown in my family doctor's office. Poor Mrs. Glinda....although it didn't help matters that when she was shoving the giant q-tip down my mouth, her sympathizing about not understanding why people like me, deserving people, have such a hard time getting pregnant and yet the ones that don't deserve babies, get pregnant just thinking about. Bless her heart, I know she meant well but then having to come back in with the news I wasn't pregnant, I just lost it as I was walking out of the room. She was so sweet God love her....she just gave me puppy eyes and handed me tissue. It's the little things like that from people you don't expect that I will never forget. It's like, that one look, that one compassionate look meant more to me than she will ever know.

I know that all of this is making me stronger, I know. It's just hard. My two roads down infertility has been the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. I'm just so thankful that I have found blogging because it really helps to have somewhere to "let it out"......

Until next time....

What I'm Loving Wednesday

2011-06-08T12:43:00.000-04:00

So, this is the first time I've participated in "WILW" and hopefully it will make me focus on the positives in my life right now.

I LOVE that even though there was some MAJOR drama over the weekend (not between me and Keith), that my husband has shown me that Preslei and I come first in his life and he will always be there to support us and protect us.

I LOVE that Preslei looks oh-so CUTE in her little pink bikini. Even though I am not a fan of the beach, it is becoming one of my favorite places to be because of how much joy and excitement it brings Preslei.

I LOVE that Keith and I met some new friends this past weekend during Matt & Ashley's wedding festivities and that they are "Yankees" hahaha....even though I am a Southerner, I have a fascination for Northerners! (I really just love their accents and how strange they think they South is, LOL) Like, OH MY GAWD!!! ;o)

I LOVE all the support and kind words I hear from people that know about my infertility issues. It is SO hard trying to pull yourself together after hearing "You're not pregnant" or seeing only one line on a pregnancy test, month after month, especially now that we are back on Clomid.

Bullet Points

2011-06-06T10:16:00.000-04:00

Disastrous weekend.
Sore throat.
Doctor appoinment this morning yielded two things: I have strep throat and I'm not pregnant.
Complete emotional breakdown in the bathroom at the Dr.
It's my husband's 30th birthday today.

This too shall pass........

C'mon now Blogger.....

2011-06-02T11:12:00.000-04:00

Okay, what is with Blogger and my inability to comment on blogs lately? This is getting annoying. Especially when you type out this whole comment and then it won't post. Sheesh.

**Side note, I'm still waiting to see if this month is "the month". Part of me thinks "maybe, just maybe" and then the other part of me is thinking "it ain't gonna happen". Only time will tell. According to babycenter.com, I can take a test on June 10th.

Round Two

2011-05-13T17:30:00.000-04:00

Well, as of Wednesday, I'm officially on my second round of Clomid. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. Preslei was conceived the 2nd month we were on Clomid so I feel as if I am expected to conceive this month. Even though I am TRYING to convince myself that there is a big chance it won't happen, I know if it doesn't, I'm going to be sad. But, in the meantime, all I can do is chart temps, have *fun* (wink wink) and continue to pray.

Anyone that knows me in real life, KNOWS I can't keep a secret. Well, I can keep a secret if it is someone else's but not mine. I had wanted to keep this journey a secret from our families because I wanted a "surprise" pregnancy. Well, I caved. My Mom is seriously my best friend and I just couldn't keep something this important from her. My Dad was out of town Tuesday night so Preslei and I went over to have dinner with my Mom. We had such a nice time and we were just talking about how I feel God working in my life and how it just an amazing feeling. I was starting to get emotional talking about turning my life over to Him and I just had to tell her. While my Mom has ALWAYS supported me, I just wasn't sure how'd she react. I mean, let's face it, our economy stinks right now and we could be a lot better off financially than we are but yet we are blessed more than others who are REALLY struggling. My Mom literally gasped and covered her mouth and said, "REALLY?!?! Oh I am SO happy!" and kind of teared up. As I explained to her why, she completely understood. I've just finally come to the conclusion that a surprise pregnancy just isn't in the cards for us and I'm okay with that. I am just glad I have a very supportive family.

I should find out sometime around Keith's 30th (WOW) birthday which is June 6th if we are pregnant or not. That would just be an amazing birthday gift!!! For now, I just pray that my little ovaries and eggs cooperate this month!!!

Until next time,

Test results

2011-04-29T11:54:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was the day I went in to have my bloodwork done to see if there was a reason I haven't gotten pregnant yet. They checked my thyroid again, my CBC, and other stuff I can't remember. While I was there, I asked the nurse if they could do a blood pregnancy test to see if I was pregnant since I was supposed to ovulate last Friday. So, we did. I asked when the results from the labs would be ready and she told me to call this morning. I did. BFN. Nope, not pregnant. And you know, I'm okay. The good news from everything was that all my labs were "within normal range". So, I can only be optimistic that now I've started Clomid, it is just a matter of time before I see a "+" sign. I remember the first month I was on Clomid when we were TTC Preslei and I just didn't "feel" like that was the month and sure enough, it wasn't. The second month, I just knew in the bottom of my heart, I had gotten pregnant. I remember my Mom telling me to try to not get my hopes up and I was like, "I know Mom but I just feel it. I know I am." and low and behold, I was.

While I'm still not going to rule out that I'm NOT pregnant because I don't know if I ovulated or not last week, I'm totally okay that it didn't happen this month. I feel peace about it. I am just VERY thankful that all my labs came back fine and I'm "normal".

Until next time.....

My first blog award :o)

2011-04-26T20:25:00.000-04:00

Is it dumb/dorky that I am "excited" to get my first blog award? LOL, yeah, apparently, it doesn't take much to make me feel special. :o)

I received this from Amanda and I have enjoyed reading her blogs. I have just started following her and I went blog hopping one day and found her blog while reading someone I saw on Kelly's Korner blog that was from Valdosta, GA (about 45 minutes from here). I just realized that Amanda is from Flowery Branch, GA and that name sticks in my mind because my high school football team played them in State Championship playoffs one year. Actually, I think we've played them more than once. Go Cairo Syrupmakers! HA!

So, here are the rules:

1. Link back to and thank the person who gave you the award
2. Share 7 things about yourself
3. Award 5 stylish blogs you read
4. Contact them and let them know you've given them the award!

Here are 7 totally random things about myself:

1. I absolutely HATE HATE HATE the beach. The feeling of sand makes me want to vomit. BUT....Preslei LOVES the beach so, I tolerate it. Before her, I would take a bed sheet and FREAK OUT if sand got on my sheet. Now, I "waller" (lol, southern term I just threw out there...it means rolling around) in the sand with her because it makes her happy. Ahhhh the things us parents do to make our kids happy.

2. Child pageants.......oh. my. GOSH. Are these parents certified crazy?!?! Now, I don't have as strong of feelings for NORMAL pageants but these "glitz" pageants are just nuts. Why would you want your 2-10 year old child to look like a porn star? I mean, HELLO!!!!! There are SICK people in this world. It just appalling to me. Big Time.

3. My family.....I ADORE my family. I honestly don't know what I would do without them. Period.

4. I want to host a show on a local news station and call it "Ambush Makeover". I absolutely LOVE styling people. Granted, it doesn't reflect well on my styling capabilities when I could dress myself much better but it is so much easier styling skinny people! I have always said that you can dress cute on a budget. I would love to just ambush unsuspecting people in a mall or somewhere and give them impromptu makeovers.

5. I absolutely LOVE to travel but have barely gone anywhere in my adult life. Biggest places I've been since turning 18 have been the Bahamas (who hasn't been there?!?!) and Alaska. When we were growing up, my family was like the National Lampoons and we packed up the car and drove all over the US during summer break. So. much. fun. I would like to experience all those places again but as an adult. If I could choose anywhere in the world to go, I would love to go to the UAE. I just think it would be amazing to experience a completely different culture and they are SO conservative that it would be amazing to visit.

6. Yeah, the above totally describes me. Although, I must say, I am VERY fortunate to have a husband that loves cooking and 5/7 nights, he's cooking. So grateful for that. I honestly have no idea why I hate cooking but it is SO boring to me! I don't know if it is my self diagnosed A.D.D. that gets in the way (I always laugh at myself about that) or just my incapabilities. If I cook, its simple stuff like spaghetti, casseroles, crock pot recipes, etc. I just get impatient with it. It takes too long to cook. I actually love baking though. I love the fact you can whip up desserts, shove them in the oven and just wait for them to bake. Maybe I should take cooking classes.......

7. I would love to have 10 kids. Seriously. I want to have my own biological kids but I want to adopt as well. Only time will tell if that happens.

I am passing this award to:

Jenny @ A Journey from Hope to Grace

Amanda @ The Layne Family

Emily @ The Journey of Parenthood

Rachel @ Homemade Happenings

Ashlee @ Across the Branch

Hope you enjoyed reading and thanks again Amanda for giving me my first blog award!!! xoxo

Anxious

2011-04-26T15:52:00.000-04:00

I am trying so hard to not let this baby making consume my thoughts but it is SO hard not to! I feel like I have been counting down the days until I go have my bloodwork done (which is Thursday) and then when I will be able to take a pregnancy test. I keep telling myself that there is no way I will get lucky and get pregnant the first month on Clomid but then I wonder if I'm just trying to convince myself that so I won't be sad if I get a BFN. I can't wait for the day I get a positive test result and be able to carry out my plans of announcing the news. I can't wait to be able to start buying newborn stuff again. It is all so exciting.

Then, I think....."Amanda, STOP being so impatient!" There are SOOO many women that don't even have their first child yet and have been TTC for 5-10 years or those women that have to use IVF and start birth control, shots, egg retrieval and implantation. I think it is human nature for someone to be impatient for something they yearn for but I have got to learn to leave it to God and just pray about it. If it is in His will for it to happen, it will happen.

Side note.....(I swear, I have self diagnosed ADD) but do you ever have those moments where someone says something and you are like, "WOW, I was JUST thinking that!" or along those lines? That has happened to me more than a few times recently. Crazy actually. I have an "internet" friend, Jenny, that I swear, she and I think alike in so many ways, but she and I were discussing baby names a few weeks ago on Facebook and she mentioned a boy's name that I had always liked and it is NOT popular and then she was showing me a pattern for a dress she is wanting to make for her daughter, Bella, and the day or so prior, I was on Zulily.com (love that site) and saw the same pattern and thought that it would be super cute on Preslei. THEN....(just weird to me) I saw a picture of a girl named Sara's, crib bedding she had custom made and the same night Jenny and I were chatting on FB, I was looking online on ebay for fabric to send to Jenny and saw this particular print and thought to myself how it would make a beautiful crib set and dang if that wasn't the same fabric Sara posted a few days later. Lastly, one of my very dear friends has learned some upsetting news for her family and we talked this morning and she quoted scripture that she read that eased her mind and it was the same scripture I had read the other day and it eased my mind about this baby making thing. It's just freaky, lol.

So, back to the main topic, I am SO ready to get the bloodtests back and to be able to get thru next week so I can take a pregnancy test. I'm NOT going to get my hopes up because I'm trying to tell myself if I'm not pregnant the 2nd month (took me 2 months on Clomid to get pregnant with Preslei) then I can start "justifying" getting anxious.

Thankful

2011-04-24T20:27:00.000-04:00

I am so thankful Jesus died for US so that we can LIVE. I have had "Amazing Love" stuck in my head since yesterday so I went to youtube to find a video and found this video and I just cried imaging all the pain and torture that Jesus endured for US. Because of Him, I am able to live my life and enjoy my family. Being a parent, I can't imagine how God felt when He sent his only Son to die for our sins.

So it starts.....again.

2011-04-13T13:08:00.000-04:00

I feel like I'm being such a bad blogger for not posting as frequent as I should but life is just busy! When I started this blog, I wanted it to be a place where I could discuss anything but mainly keep it focused on Preslei. I didn't want everyone and their brother here in town to know about it (hopefully they don't) because I want this to be my own little journal. Somewhere I can go and just type and let it all out and have people out there that relate to me. There is a weird sense of comfort knowing there are people that are going thru what you are yet aren't from your town that you feel "exposed" (If that makes sense).

I feel like I need to be honest about something and give my reasons behind my "semi-dishonesty". I blogged some time ago about Keith and I being content with Preslei being an only child for right now. Well, that isn't the case. Keith and I have been trying to get pregnant since last summer to no avail. I feel that in a way, I am trying to tell myself that it is okay we aren't pregnant to not get upset/depressed about it. We had decided that we would start Clomid again during the summer if nothing happened. Well, as of yesterday, we are back on Clomid. As much as it kills me, hurts me, saddens me, etc. that we had to go this route, yet again, I can only be optimistic that we will have our 2nd child in our arms soon. We, well, I, have only told a very very select few about our journey because I absolutely 100% don't want our families to know. While yes, support is a GREAT thing, I just don't want them knowing.....yet. I want to be able to surprise them with the news we are expecting again. So.....if by chance any of my family is reading this, then DO NOT tell me you know, LOL. :o) and do NOT tell my Mom! If we get pregnant this month, I have the perfect surprise in mind on the big reveal.

The reason we started a few months before we originally discussed is because I hadn't had a period since January 28th when I called to make the appointment. I was SO worried that all my problems had come back. I made the doctor appointment last Thursday and on Friday, I started my period. So typical. Lol. My original appointment was supposed to be this Thursday but since we were wanting to do Clomid again and I started my period Friday, I wanted to get in sooner so I could start Clomid this month. (You take Clomid either CD3-7 or CD5-9 and CD5 was yesterday). I called and explained the situation and I was seen yesterday. I got total reassurance of our decision to go back to Dr. Morales yesterday. I was as nervous as a whore in church but as soon as Dana (his nurse) called my name, I felt like I was home again. I'm telling you, she and Dr. M are absolute GOD-SENDS. I had also blogged about a year ago that since Keith was working at EMC and we got new insurance because of that, our insurance company no longer deemed my BELOVED OB/GYN "in network". I switched doctors and I was only semi-impressed. After praying, talking and praying some more, we decided to go back to Dr. Morales and just pay the out of network costs. Instead of $500 ded. and 80/20, the out of network costs are $1K ded and a 60/40 split. Ugh....but, there isn't a price tag for comfort, security and peace of mind.

Only different thing we are doing this go-around is bloodwork. When I was on Clomid before Preslei, he just asked me to chart my temps and bam! I got pregnant on the 2nd month of Clomid. I will have bloodwork done on Thursday, April 28, to check all my levels to see if I've ovulated and to see if anything else is causing me not to get pregnant.

So.....here I sit. Anxious, nervous, scared yet excited to be on this journey again.

Disney World 3-25-2011

2011-04-13T12:26:00.000-04:00

Preslei's birthday present from me and Keith was a trip to Disney World! This child has become SO obsessed with the princesses I thought this would be the PERFECT birthday present. We only live about 4 hours north of Orlando so we took advantage. Plus, Keith has never been! (Such a deprived man, LOL) Since we are such a close-knit family, I asked my parents to come. Of course, I didn't have to twist their arm when I told them I wanted them to be a part of Preslei's first trip to "Cinderwella's Castle" (that is what P calls Disney World). Since Preslei was NEVER a fan of carousels, I just wanted to do a day trip to get a feel of how she was going to do. Disney is CRAZY expensive and rather than spend a lot of money and her not like it, we just decided to save a few bucks and try it out. We left that Friday morning around 6am and got into the actual park around 2pm. We stopped and found a little bench and ate our sandwiches that we packed and off we went down to Cinderella's castle. They had just started doing a little show at the castle so we watched that. After that, I noticed the castmembers taping off sections of the road (a tip I heard from a friend is that when they do that, they are getting ready for a parade and to grab a spot on the curb) so we sat down at a prime spot and waited about 30 minutes for the parade to start. It was AWESOME. The cool thing was when we bought our tickets, the lady asked if we were celebrating anything and we said Preslei's birthday so they gave her this Happy Bday button for her to wear and every castmember that passed by told her Happy Birthday. Now, the cool part is during the parade, Princess Tiana saw Preslei and waved and said "Happy Birthday princess!" Of course, I cried. LOL. After the parade, we walked to where the meet and greet was for the princesses (Cinderella, Aurora & Belle) and it was a 50 minute wait. We decided to wait (of course) because the main things I wanted Preslei to do while we were there was 1. See Cinderella's castle; 2. Meet the princesses; 3. Ride the teacups, dumbo and It's a Small World.

So, when we walked into the building to get in line, my Mom went and sat in a window sill and I noticed she was really tired. I asked if everything was okay and she said, "I'm just really hot". It was SCORCHING hot that day for it to be the end of March. It felt like the middle of July. So next thing I notice was my Mom and Dad walking out and she said she just needed to get some air. I was worried but I wasn't freaking out at this point. I look outside and my Mom is sitting on a ledge with her head in her hands hunched over. I tell Keith to stay in line and I'll be back. By the time I get to her, she starts slipping and says she needs to sit down. Scariest thing EVER. I just sit on the ground and take my Mom and lay her down and put her head in my lap while my Dad is trying to get some help. It was so frantic because I felt so helpless. I just started pouring water over her head and some castmembers got me a large cup of ice water and napkins so I put watered down napkins on her forehead, the back of her neck and on her wrists. The paramedics came about 10 minutes later and her vitals were fine and she started coming back around. Preslei and Keith had came back outside and Preslei was just standing there like a deer in headlights so I just said that "Nonna is laying down because she is really sleepy and that she was fine. Just needed a nap." So, we put her in wheelchair and off to the First Aid station we went. The paramedics said that it was a combination of the heat, Mom only having Diet Cokes to drink that day and a pain pill she took earlier that made her almost pass out. The First Aid station had a little rooms and Mom wanted to rest. Instinctively, I wanted to stay with her but she insisted that we go ahead and take Preslei to do other stuff. Keith and I decided to take her to ride the teacups and Dumbo. It seriously took us 2 hours to ride 2 rides. Crazy. After Dumbo, we went back to the First Aid station and Mom was awake and she and Dad were waiting on us. We decided that we had enough for one day but wanted to wait for the princesses again so we put Mom back in the wheelchair and we waited in line. Preslei slept the entire wait time and we finally met the princesses. It was just amazing. They really take their time with the kids and talk to them and hug and kiss them. It was awesome.

Unfortunately, Keith left my cell phone in the car and I forgot to charge the battery for the camera so we didn't get our own pictures of Preslei and the princesses except for one of her and Belle. Now, we have to buy the pictures ($15 each!!) to have our memories.

We are definitely going back but we are going to go back during winter and during the "dead" time, which according to the nurse at First Aid, is the 2nd week of January. This was our learning experience. :)

3-19-11 Preslei's movie premiere party

2011-04-13T11:31:00.001-04:00

Still can't believe that we celebrated Preslei's THIRD birthday!!! AHHHH!!!!

Since Preslei absolutely LOVES movies, we decided the best thing to do was to have a "movie premiere" party at our local theatre. We live in a super small rural Southern town in Georgia and our movie theatre has a very old, retro vibe about it.

I asked all the kids to come dressed as their favorite movie characters and it was the cutest thing EVER! They watched "The Little Mermaid" and we served pizza, drinks, popcorn and for the cake, I made popcorn cupcakes!

We had an amazing time and feel so blessed to be able to celebrate Preslei's birthday with amazing friends and family.

(Since I pinned my cupcakes on Pinterest, if you want to know how to make them, just leave a comment and I will reply!)

WHY?!?!

2011-04-04T12:41:00.001-04:00

I want to scream at the top of my lungs and ask God "WHY?!?! Why Lord are you not preventing such awful tragedies from happening to undeserving people?!"

I. JUST. DON'T. UNDERSTAND.

I sit here with a very heavy heart yet again for friends of mine that just welcomed their 3rd daughter, Hollyn Joanna, into the world on Thursday, March 31, 2011, only to have her life taken away just 2 short days later. Eric & Victoria Walden are two of the most amazing parents and people. They were high school sweethearts and married soon after and Eric enlisted in the Navy. Victoria has always been one of those Moms you want to be like. Eric has always been one of those guys that would give you the shirt off his back. He is the most kind-hearted person and no matter where you are, if he sees you, he will give you the biggest hug and ask how you are doing. They are just those type of people. Victoria is always smiling and they ALWAYS have their daughters, Aubrey and Kenleigh, with them. So for something like this to happen to them, I just don't understand. At all. How can a precious, healthy baby be taken away from them so soon? This family has been thru SO SO much already. Hollyn was named after Eric's best friend that was killed some time ago (not sure how or when) and Eric's nephew was killed in a TRAGIC train accident several months ago and now this. It just isn't fair.

The hardest part for me to grasp is why do people who are crappy parents, addicts, etc. always get everything they want. People that you encounter that treat their children like an inconvenience or a bother shouldn't even be allowed to have children. I know you're supposed to say "things happen for a reason" but dang it, they shouldn't. What kind of reason is there for these tragedies? It seems the older I get and as time progresses, the more prevalent these things are. I know that we aren't put here on this Earth to understand the hows and whys but it is human nature to want answers.

As I have said before, I have read about and met some of the bravest women I know for being able to "overcome" their own losses and tragedies and I can only pray to the Lord above that Eric and Victoria will find some peace and comfort.

The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart; the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Isaiah 57:1

Dear Preslei

2011-03-16T22:17:00.000-04:00

As I sit here typing this, you and Daddy are in your room talking about your big day tomorrow. He is telling you that you are his princess. You keep saying, "Happy Birthday to me" and I sit here with tears in my eyes. I simply cannot fathom that 3 years have passed so quickly. You are the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me and your Daddy. You have the ability to make the worst day turn into a good day just by smiling at me and saying, "I love you Momma". Your bubbly, energetic and sometimes "diva" personality makes everyone around you fall in love with you. You will never ever know how proud I am of you already and how proud I am to be your Mom. God blessed us immensely the day you were born. You and I have so many special "Mommy and Me" things like the "Guess What" game, "Mommy & Preslei" days, baking sessions and so many more that I hope continue until we are both old and grey. I still have those moments when you do something funny or sweet, when I just look at you and cry. I never in my entire life knew I could love someone as much as I love you. I always dreamed of having a daughter and I must have done something right because God granted me my dream. You are for the most part a very calm and content little girl and you have the biggest heart. You love everyone and you are so good at sharing. The funniest thing is when you do something you're not supposed to do and you know you are in trouble, you say, "See Mommy, I happy now, I'm not sad. Are you happy too?" I think you know how cute it is and you can make me smile.

Happy Birthday my sweet girl. We love you to the moon and back.

Love always,

Mommy & Daddy

Once a year

2011-03-12T11:45:00.000-05:00

As Preslei's birthday is fast approaching, as much fun as it is planning and hosting her parties, I can't help but get sad because it means she is turning into a little girl and not my baby. Of course, she will be 20 and still be my little baby but you know what I'm saying. Today, 3 years ago, was my actual due date. I went in for my doctor's appointment and I told Dr. M, "can we PLEASE induce soon?!" and so he told we could induce the next day. I was told to call the hospital at 5am to see if they had any beds open. I couldn't sleep, I was SO excited! So, I called at 5am on March 13th and there were no beds available. I was SO disappointed. I just cried and cried. They don't induce on Fridays so I had to wait until Monday, March 17th. Funny thing, I didn't realize until I was in the operating room that it was St. Patty's Day! HA! I will never in my entire life forget that feeling of her being pulled from my stomach. As uncomfortable as it was, it was the best feeling in the world.

I am excited about Preslei's 3rd birthday party. It is a "movie premiere" party! We rented the local movie theater and it is a very retro theater (small town life, HA!) and I've asked all the kids to come dressed as their favorite movie character and I have a red carpet, we are doing handprints like they do on the Hollywood walk of fame! My brother is going to be the paparazzi so I just can't wait! People keep telling me her party is the "talk of the town" so we'll see. I do find it funny that I have had a lot of people tell me they are going to stop by just to see it. But I mean, HELLO....that's a lot of pressure to make it an AMAZING party!!! I feel like I get all these grand ideas in my head of what I want to do and then the closer it gets, I feel like it won't turn out as cute as I think it will. My Mom is always saying, "Amanda, it is just a child's party!!!" I guess I just always want Preslei to look back and say, "Wow, Momma and Daddy always made sure to make my birthdays extra special."

Her birthday gift from me and Keith is.......DISNEY WORLD!!! I seriously think I am more excited than she is (and she is pretty darn excited herself!). Since we only live 4 hours away and she is only three, we are just doing Magic Kingdom for a day and staying the night and coming home the next day. I toyed with the idea of doing a long weekend and staying at one of the resorts inside Disney but I just didn't want to spend an arm and a leg for something I'm not even sure she would like because she is SO young. Preslei gets nervous and scared riding a carousel and freaks out when those life size Easter Bunnies or Santa come up to her so we are saving the money and playing it safe. If she LOVES Disney, then we are planning on going back for longer after Christmas. Preslei and I have this little "game" that we play. I'll say, "Preslei, guess what" and she says, "What" and I reply, "I love you" and we always go back and forth. So cute. Well, since we've told her we are going to "Cinderella's Castle" when she says, "Guess what" her response is "WE GOING TO CINDERWELLA'S CASTLE" and she gasps. So freakin' cute. (I need to get that on video)

Preslei goes to school (our church's 2 yr old preschool) on Tuesdays and Thursdays, we are having her school party on her actual birthday. We are doing a zebra print theme for there. It won't be anything special, we are just doing chocolate cupcakes with red and white icing. She has a red and zebra pettiskirt and super cute shirt that says "Wild about Three" that we borrowed from our amazing blogger friend Jenny in Texas (I seriously think the absolute WORLD of her and hopefully will one day get the chance to meet her). Saturday, March 19th is her BIG party and then the next day, we are having a family party at my parents' house. The family party's theme is "disney princesses" and we are just having cake and ice cream at 3pm.

I have a LONG week of getting last minute things done but I wouldn't have it any other way! Once March is over, maybe my boss will start seeing the organized and stress free Amanda again! :o)

Kelly's Korner SUYL Family Edition

2011-03-04T10:06:00.000-05:00

I don't post in a lot of SUYL topics but I wanted to participate in this one. (I read a lot of them, just don't post) Anywho, this week is a Show Us Your Family. As my quote for my blog says, "The love of a family is life's greatest blessing" and I wouldn't be the person I am today without my family. I live in a very small, rural South Georgia town, Cairo, and have lived here my entire life. If the name Cairo, Georgia sounds familiar, we have a couple of well known people from here. For starters, this is the birthplace of Jackie Robinson, the first african american baseball player; Teresa Edwards, you can look at her here. We also have Mickey Thomas, Starship, singer. They sang, "We built this city". You can look at him here. Willie C. Harris, made the winning point for the 2005 World Series. Jake Bundrick, a vocalist and drummer for the rock band, Mayday Parade. Mayday Parade is doing amazing well right now and I am SOOOO proud of Jake! AND.....our high school football team was voted ESPN's most unique mascot in 2009, I think. We are the Cairo Syrupmakers!! Our mascot is a syrup pitcher, HAHAHA! You can read the history here. My best friend, Brian Mason, whom I have talked about on my blog before will definitely be a name you will recognize soon. He is amazingly talented and was a principal dancer in the remake of "Footloose" starring Julianne Hough, Andi McDowell and Dennis Quaid. (He met all 3!) and has appeared in several commercials and judged dance competitions with Tyce Diorio from So You Think You Can Dance!

My dad, Rick, is the Electrical Superintendent for the City of Cairo, and he and I are like two peas in a pod. He is loud, opinionated, friendly, funny, caring and would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. He is a hard working man that has always provided an amazing life for our family.

My Mom, Debbie, is the Clerk of Court of Grady County. She is my rock. My mom is this dainty, petite little woman that couldn't raise her voice in anger if she wanted. I always remember her reprimanding me in her cute little sweet voice, "Now Amanda, don't do that, that isn't very lady-like". Bless her. My Mom is seriously one of my very best friends. I know a lot of people say that but I would rather hang out with my mom than any of my friends. As I have gotten older, we have gotten so much closer. We can share secrets, cry together, laugh together and have our own little inside jokes. Funny thing about my parents is they are TOTAL opposites. My dad is about 6'0 and a BIG guy while my mom is a tiny little thing. We like to call them the number 10 b/c my mom looks like a "1" and my dad looks like the "0". HAHAHA.

I have an older brother, Chris, who is 3 1/2 years older than I am. I don't think I've ever in my life met two people that are as opposite as we are. My brother is very reserved, an introvert, very OCD about things but I wouldn't change ANYTHING in the world about him because it makes him Chris. Growing up, we never got along. Like, EVER. We fought all the time (ha). He was the more quiet person in school and I was the girl that was friends with everyone. After he graduated, he went to police academy and started his career in law enforcement. About 5-6 years ago, he wanted a change and became a code enforcement officer for Grady County and is currently there. Chris got married to an EMT (at the time) Cori, who is now a RN, and they have the most precious little boy ever, Caden, who turned 2 on Feb. 25. My brother and I have gotten so close over the years and actually lives across the road from us! We always say we just need to get my parents to move out near us! Mom and Dad live about 20 minutes from us, which isn't bad at all.

My favorite family memory growing up was our summer vacations. I swear, I always compare them to the "National Lampoons Summer Vacation" because my Mom's parents, Mam-Maw and Pop-Pop (Pop-Pop passed away in '95 from Leukemia and Mam-Maw celebrated her 90th birthday on Jan. 13) would always travel with us. Now, we wouldn't just go the beach or anything, we would pack up our car and drive hours upon hours to different places all over the US. I've been up north to NYC, Canada, out west to Las Vegas, Texas, etc. We always went to the big tourist places like the Statue of Liberty, Liberty Bell, Gettysburg, Grand Canyon, NOLA, Washington D.C., Niagra Falls, etc. It was AMAZING. I had the best childhood.

I have always said that I wanted to be able to provide for Preslei and show her the kind of love that I received growing up. We started the tradition of every year taking a family vacation to the mountains ALL of us. I absolutely LOVE it. We stay in the same cabin every year and Preslei calls it "the mountain house". Last year, she cried because she kept saying she didn't want to the leave the mountain house. Bless her heart. We started the tradition in 2009, and hopefully will keep doing it. I am beginning to think we just need to buy a vacation house up there since we plan on going every year!!!

Hope you all enjoyed reading about mi familia :o)

Maybe baby.....

2011-03-02T22:37:00.000-05:00

It's that time of the year again. The time of the year of Preslei's birthday. The time when people realize she is turning another year older and I don't have a bun in the oven. I get the constant questions of "aren't y'all ready for another one?" or other questions to that extent. I never know what to tell people. Should I just say, "oh we are just enjoying Preslei right now" or "well, if it happens, it happens". I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY!!! All the girls that have gone thru what I have in trying to get pregnant, completely understand where I am coming from. I am SCARED TO DEATH to go thru what I went thru trying to get pregnant with Preslei again. I know without a shadow of a doubt that my family isn't "complete" with just one child but I am so scared to get back on fertility meds. The reality of the situation is this: We aren't doing anything to prevent pregnancy but at the same time, we aren't doing temps, meds or ovulation kits. I want to pray to God and leave it in His hands. If by the time we are ready to do temps and ovulation kits and nothing is happening, then we will resort to Clomid again. Do I know when that time will be? No idea. I feel like God will let me know when I'm ready to go that route. Not only do the side effects of Clomid scare me (I use the word "scare" in a different way, more like intimidate) but it takes the element of surprise out of pregnancy. I so badly want to be a few days late and be like, "oh wow, I just realized I haven't started yet" and take a pregnancy test and get positive results and have all those jittery emotions. When you are so desperately trying to get pregnant and month after month getting negative test results or every single day charting your temps, it is so heartbreaking and while yes, you are elated that FINALLY you are pregnant, you don't have that same initial shock. I want that. I YEARN for that. I want morning sickness and all that. I didn't have it with Preslei, which yes is a blessing, but I want to be late and not realize I'm late but yet I get nauseous and bam, I realize I could be pregnant. While I do want to be pregnant, I'm content right now. We are leaving everything in His hands and know that in time, He will bless us with another baby. Until then, we are enjoying every single second of having Preslei has an only child. She needs this one on one time with Mommy and Daddy.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Phil. 4:6 NIV

Friends

2011-01-30T19:06:00.000-05:00

I am a very blessed woman in more ways than one. I have a husband and daughter that simply adore me, a family that I feel like I could never get enough of and some of the best friends a girl could ask for.

I have friends that I have known for 10+ years and some that I've just gotten to know since having Preslei. The thing about growing older is that you realize you don't have to talk on the phone every single night for 2 hours to reassure your friendship. My two best friends, Ashley and Brian, well, we go months without a phone call or a visit but we always pick up right where we left off and nothing ever changes between us. I love that. I also love how I've made new friends since having Preslei. Its nice to have those friends that you can just sit and talk about being parents with and they "get it". I'm also glad that those same friends have kids that are some of Preslei's best friends. I have also met some great women (who I consider friends) thru blogging and Facebook. The things that these girls have gone thru in their lives seriously astonish me. I honestly don't think I have ever met stronger, braver and more encouraging women in my life.

But, I can't help but to think of the people that I used to be so close with that I never speak to anymore. I have my reasons for not speaking to most of the ones that I became distant with but I still can't help but hope that they are doing well. There is that ounce of me that wants to try to reconnect with those certain few but then I have to tell myself that we aren't friends for a reason. Maybe that is just me being me. I can't help but to be nice and forgiving. I think it is sad when I look back at old photos of me and those friends and everything looked so perfect in the picture and then you realize it has been YEARS and you haven't spoken to each other.

I guess life has its own way of making new paths for you and I'm so happy to be on the path I'm on now because I wouldn't trade it for anything in the entire world!

A must read....

2011-01-10T15:08:00.001-05:00

I've written about the devastating tragedy that rocked our community to its core but I wanted to post this blog entry from Makiah's mom, Rachel, in hopes that everyone who reads my blog will read this. One of my FAVORITE quotes is "When you choose your behavior, you choose your consequence." No truer words will ever be spoken. People need to realize that EVERY single decision they make has a consequence, either good or bad. Please keep the King family in your prayers.

CLICK HERE!!!

Preslei's first ER visit 1/2/2011

2011-01-04T10:56:00.001-05:00

Yes, you read right....Preslei had to go to the ER this past Sunday. While some people may not think it is that big of a deal, I was freaking out. If you know me, you will know that I am NOT a fan of hospitals, in fact, I could cut off an arm and try to sew it on myself before I go to the hospital. And ER's....yeah, I hate them more than my worst enemy. I don't have a phobia or anything but you see, I'm just REALLY impatient and not to sound snobby, but MOST people in ERs gross me out. I personally would rather not "mingle" with people that haven't showered in a week and people that just stumble out of bed looking all disheveled without brushing their teeth to just see why their ear is hurting. So anyways, rewind to New Year's Eve day. Preslei has been going thru a phase where she just doesn't really like to eat a whole lot. Coming from a fat girl, I'm like, "hey, I'm not gonna force my child to eat if she's not hungry" so Friday, she barely ate or drank anything but I didn't really think anything of it because she was acting fine. We proceeded with our NYE plans and Keith, Preslei and I headed to our friends' house to partake in a family friendly NYE bash. Shortly after midnight, my friend Amanda's daughter, Madison, said Preslei was really hot. Madison LOVES Preslei and acts like her older sister. So, sure enough, Preslei was burning up with fever. We got home and her temp was 103.2. Scared me to death. I gave her tylenol and motrin and from that point, her fever would go away, come back, go away, come back ALL weekend. Saturday night she started coughing really bad and had runny nose. When she wasn't better by Sunday, I called our family doc and he said that I needed to take her to the ER so they could check her for the flu. He said that if we waited too long the medicine wouldnt work if she did in fact have the flu. So off we went and luckily, there were only 3 people ahead of us and we were in and out in an hour and she tested negative. Up until yesterday afternoon, she was still not feeling well but she finally started acting like our wild and crazy kid! Hopefully, we won't have to visit the ER any time soon!!!

Below is a picture of my princess laying on the hospital bed. We *had* to take Preslei's beloved, Bella Sophia, "to see the doctor and feel better" (per Preslei). Notice how Bella is the one wearing the mask and not Preslei....LOL. Did they REALLY expect a 3 yr old to wear a mask?? I think not.

2010 Phillips Family Christmas card

2010-12-13T10:55:00.002-05:00

(You need to enlarge the photo to read the text)

What I love most about our Christmas cards this year is it described our family in a nutshell. A little crazy and funny but filled with love :)

Merry Christmas!!!!

Callaway Gardens 2010

2010-12-13T10:51:00.000-05:00

Last weekend, Preslei and I had a Mommy/Daughter weekend at Callaway Gardens up in Pine Mountain, Georgia. Every year, they put on this extravagant Christmas light show called "Fantasy in Lights". You can either ride on the trolley or in your own car. Personally, I like the trolley because you are mingled with other people and the Christmas spirit overtakes you! We were invited to join some friends of mine and of course, I jumped on that. This year, Preslei has been so excited about Christmas and ever since she was born, I couldn't wait for her to get older so I could take her to Callaway. Let me just tell you, she had the BEST time!!! The highlight of the trip was along the course of the show, she gives me about 3 kisses and says, "Mommy, I LOVE you!".......I thought I was about to cry! It is amazing to just sit back and watch her absorb everything and grow up.

I think its pretty obvious she had a blast!!!

Catching up

2010-12-06T21:44:00.000-05:00

Wow, has it REALLY been that long since I blogged?!?! I'm sure my *huge* fan base out there (insert sarcasm) was missing me. Lol. So what has been going on in the world of the Phillips Family....let's see, well my parents, bro, sis in law, nephew and my family went on our annual vacation to the mountain in Blue Ridge, GA and of course, we had a blast! It was FREEZING and the absolute BEST part was that it snowed the Saturday morning we were there! I will upload pictures tomorrow.

Then there was Thanksgiving. It was actually a very small gathering this year. We normally have a big get together with my aunts and uncles but most of my Dad's brothers and their family went to the mountains to celebrate. I am so thankful my parents didn't go on the trip because Thanksgiving and Christmas are just very special holidays to me and I like to share them with my family. I think it is an amazing thing to still have both my grandmas in my life. Grandma Kines will be 91 years old this month and Mam-Maw will be 90 in January. They are absolutely PRECIOUS when they see each other. It is like they are just catching up on good times.

I am SO excited Christmas is just around the corner. Christmas is my FAVORITE time of the year!! I have to admit, I have been an emotional wreck this year but in a good way. Preslei has reached the age now that she knows what Christmas is about, well, to an almost 3 year old at least. I've explained that Christmas is celebrating Jesus' birth but all she really knows is you better be good or Santa won't bring you toys, LOL. This past weekend, I took her up to Callaway Garden's Fantasy in Lights and I have decided this will be an annual tradition. When we got home on Sunday, I decided to put all our Christmas decorations out and she wanted to put all the ornaments on the tree. I just sat back and cried watching her enjoy decorating the tree.

Happy Holidays from our family to yours!!!!!

Three words for Tuesday

2010-10-26T14:16:00.000-04:00

ELECT JOSH BELL!

:^)

Urgent Prayer Request

2010-10-09T10:23:00.001-04:00

Please pray for the family of Rev. Cameron King and his wife, Rachel and their friends and family. While coming home from vacation, they were in an automobile accident which claimed the life of their 4 year old daughter. Rachel is 16 weeks pregnant with twins but from what I have heard, the babies are fine. This family needs your prayers. I simply cannot fathom what they are going thru. No parent should ever have to lose a child. It isn't the way it is supposed to work. I know that everything is in God's timing and we may not understand why, but it isn't fair. I have read and met some of the bravest people I know that have gone thru losing a child and they must have a strong faith in God because I don't know how I could survive. When you hear things like this, your heart breaks for them. Cairo Georgia has had too many tragedies lately and its just devastating. Last week, there was a gas line explosion that killed a city worker and he left behind a 7 year old daughter. This is a very small, close knit community and when someone is going thru something, you feel their pain. As much as I vent about this town, times like this, when the community comes together as one, makes me so proud to call it my home.

I can't help but tell myself, "Amanda, God is speaking to you thru this tragedy". I am not as close to God as I should be or live my live the way HE wants. I don't have a church home, haven't for years. I don't talk to God on a regular basis and I need that relationship with him. I have always struggled with trying to find my niche in a church. I get very "bored" (that sounds terrible) sitting in church listening to the service but driving with my Mom to a dr. appt., I had talked with her about how I have always felt I'd serve God better by educating kids about him. But before I do that, I need to educate myself more. I had tossed around the idea of going to church tomorrow at the church where Preslei goes to school but I think I will definitely be going tomorrow. You aren't guaranteed tomorrow and I want that closer relationship to God.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit." -Psalms 34:18

My heartfelt prayers are being lifted for the King family. May God give you the comfort during this tragic time.